Conspiracy Theory Addiction Is Real

[Kev45]

Says gigantic man boy, who has quoted UKIP on numerous occasions.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

PART THIRTY SEVEN

Losing friends to conspiracy theories

A man has lost three friends to a localised outbreak of conspiracy theories.

Will Poster, 67, tragically witnessed some of his best mates succumbing in quick succession, despite them having no underlying tendency towards the condition.

Will said: “One day our forum and chatroom was all about valuing football players, music, and ranking biscuits, and the next it was Bill Gates, vaccines, masks, microchips and 5G.

“Those of us who weren’t displaying any symptoms tried to steer the conversation back round to the five-a-side team, but it was too late to save them.

“The last message I saw before leaving the chatroom was about organising a ‘Men Against Masks’ protest for the weekend.

“Apparently it was just the three of them, walking around the town centre with placards saying ‘Question Everything’ and then going to ‘Spoons when it started raining.”

Will added that he and others who had been in touch with the trio were now isolating and upping their exposure to science, reason and logic.

 

[Kev45]

Slurp down that booze you sozzled auld soak, and I still won't sit here entertaining your alcoholism while you "clickbait" a reaction, so you don't have to drink on your lonesome.

I keep telling you, repeatedly.

LOL

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Says gigantic man boy, who has quoted UKIP on numerous occasions.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

PART THIRTY EIGHT

Conspiracist self-diagnoses as expert epidemiologist​

A man has officially read enough about coronavirus to name himself a top epidemiologist, he has confirmed.

Mr Bowring Fanee, 69¾, now believes himself to be the worldwide authority on the COVID-19 pandemic because he has had little else to do these past months except look at a lot of graphs, YouTube videos and follow conspiracy theory websites.

He said: “If you can self-isolate on the basis of a cough, and your judgement is basically considered the same as a doctor’s, then why can’t I self-diagnose as a top virus expert?

“I’ve definitely clocked up 10,000 hours of study of computer animations and YouTube videos of how it spreads, most of them on the toilet while taking a massive poo. If the NHS needs me to take command of the anti-pandemic strategy, I’m ready.

“And I’m telling you, the government strategy is all over the place – I wonder if the shill sheeple Chris Whitty ever watched any InfoWars videos at all."

“Why aren’t we looking into the effects of the BCG vaccine, or hydroxychloroquine, or the powerful boost given the immune system by Yakult? Thank God I’ve got social media and online website forums to get my voice out there.”

Following a substack post attacking Bill Gates and the death causing Covid vaccine, Bowring Fanee will appear on Channel 5’s Jeremy Vine on Wednesday, to talk a load of conspiracy bollocks from his kitchen.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

 

[Brass]

Slurp down that booze you sozzled auld soak, and I still won't sit here entertaining your alcoholism while you "clickbait" a reaction, so you don't have to drink on your lonesome.

I keep telling you, repeatedly.

LOL

“Detection of viral RNA may not indicate the presence of infectious virus or that 2019-nCoV is the causative agent for clinical symptoms. The performance of this test has not been established for monitoring treatment of 2019-nCoV infection. This test cannot rule out diseases caused by other bacterial or viral pathogens.” — The Centers For Disease Control and Prevention

I'm sorry you feel put upon, but you're not being asked to do anything but answer yes or no to the question of whether or not you believe the CDC was telling the truth there.

You're reading some evil, paranoiac things into that question right now, aren't you? Despite what your state of mind is telling you, it's just a question.

So . . .

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

plus

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

PART THIRTY NINE

The hottest conspiracy theory of 2023 comes from an unlikely corner: town planning.

This relates to the idea of “the 15-minute city” and has even gone so far as to be mentioned in UK parliament by a 'promoter of conspiracies MP' who called an idea “an international socialist concept” that will “cost us our personal freedom”.

Town planning academics who have published research on 15-minute cities, know this is absolute nonsense.

The thing is, like so many other conspiracy theories, it gets into trouble when it comes into contact with reality.

In many British cities, the reality is that having most services within a 15-minute walk of your house is already closer than you might think – what matters more is the quality and equity of those services.

But what actually is the 15-minute city? And what’s the fuss about?

The 15-minute city itself is a simple idea.

If you live in one, it means that everything you need to go about your daily life – school, doctors, shops and so on – is located no more than a 15-minute walk from your house.

Designed for people not cars​

The concept, which originated from the French-Colombian urbanist Carlos Moreno, is the current zeitgeist in planning, and calls for city design that is centred on people and their needs rather than being designed for cars.

It gained international attention when the mayor of Paris, Anne Hidalgo, announced her intention to make Paris a 15-minute city following her reelection in 2020, with the plan to enhance neighbourhoods across Paris while ensuring connections between them.

The idea flourished in the wake of COVID, when lockdowns and working from home had more of us ditching the car and recognising the need for well-served local neighbourhoods.... CONTD: >

CONTD:

15-minute cities: how to separate the reality from the conspiracy theory

It’s about designing cities that prioritise people not cars.

theconversation.com

 

[Brass]

PART THIRTY NINE

The thing is, like so many other conspiracy theories, it gets into trouble when it comes into contact with reality.

That's what we've been trying to help you with. Now take a good look at this and tell me whether or not you understand what the CDC was saying there.

“Detection of viral RNA may not indicate the presence of infectious virus or that 2019-nCoV is the causative agent for clinical symptoms. The performance of this test has not been established for monitoring treatment of 2019-nCoV infection. This test cannot rule out diseases caused by other bacterial or viral pathogens.” — The Centers For Disease Control and Prevention

It's a no-brainer, so you shouldn't have too much difficulty.

So, what were they saying?

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]