Conspiracy Theory Addiction Is Real

[Kev45]

I forgot to add *** In my 60s (not in my teens as some suspect).

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Whereas me, myself and I, I'll sit on my fat lazy arse all day and night, watching conspiracy theories on YouTube videos and "reading the forum", fighting da man from behind the safety of my computer screen. Maybe one day I might actually get off my fat lazy arse and make a YouTube channel or something. Contact a local MP or politician, ask for pandemic information via the FOI, do something useful like attend or arrange a protest march. In the meantime, I'll leave that to other people, all the real work, and instead I will sit spamming "experimental drug you sheepies" on a random chat site and doing sweet FA about it at all.

 

[Brass]

Whereas me, myself and I, I'll sit on my fat lazy arse all day and night, watching conspiracy theories on YouTube videos and "reading the forum", fighting da man from behind the safety of my computer screen. Maybe one day I might actually get off my fat lazy arse and make a YouTube channel or something. Contact a local MP or politician, ask for pandemic information via the FOI, do something useful like attend or arrange a protest march. In the meantime, I'll leave that to other people, all the real work, and instead I will sit spamming "experimental drug you sheepies" on a random chat site and doing sweet FA about it at all.

You can't even explain your own behavior to yourself. For instance, you don't know why you take an experimental injection that doesn't offer protection from infection or prevent transmission; you only know that you take it.

So, what's your rationale for doing something like that?

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

PART THIRTY THREE

Are you a conspiracy theorist belligerently obsessed with anti-vaccine views?

Here’s how to bang on about them:

Put the hours in -

1: Be angry all the time. Wake up every morning on internet forums and comment sections, poisoning all debate with repetitive abuse. Post endless meaningless links to conspiracy videos and news sites. On forums start arguments of numbing tedium and refuse to let the issue drop. It’s not just a cult, it’s a family.

Be effortlessly superior -

2: Be angry all the time. Everyone else is a mug, part of the uninquisitive flock of brainwashed sheep. Meanwhile, your evidence-free conspiracy shite is pure fact. Use phrases like '' don’t want to say I told you so, but….''. When you call someone credulous, the irony is so dense it’s amazing it doesn’t collapse into a singularity.

Never settle on one point -

3: Be so angry stroke thick all the time that your rushed internet comments take several attempts to decipher e.g. ‘Astral Xenoca – chief S.H.E.L.L is Fauci, Gutes controls everything, experementul ingection, BBV too often??? Dr WHO is run by the alliminium. Softened up for NWO, eva heard of MK Ultra, vauuxx killen? Havana syndrome? JFK Jr.’

Drag in own witless grievances -

4: Be angry all the time. The tabloids and being bad at lessons have encouraged you to hate teachers, and you’re still pissed off about Zayden being suspended for setting fire to the school rabbit. So who’s in on the great Covid scam? That’s right, teachers, for closing schools when they’re all off with Covid.

Don’t listen to reason -

5: Be angry all the time. Expect others to watch your YouTube videos, but ignore anything they say. If an argument makes you doubt yourself, scuttle back to the Infowars mothership and reassure yourself your berserk opinions are totally sane.

Horribly misunderstand statistics -

6: Be angry all the time. Infections are only up ten per cent this week, and ten isn’t a big number. You ate ten Celebrations earlier like it was nothing. Also make irrelevant comparisons, like 156 people may have died in the last month but that’s every hour at the Battle of the Bulge.

Quit sanity entirely -

7: Be angry all the time. Why wouldn’t the scientists who named Omicron use an anagram of ‘moronic’ for a laugh? Cast yourself adrift from rational thought, like the Daily Mail reader who sneered ‘All this over a tiny virus’. Lucky it isn’t a big virus, the size of an Alsatian. That would really be dangerous.

 

[Brass]

PART THIRTY THREE

Are you a conspiracy theorist belligerently obsessed with anti-vaccine views?

Just the news that it doesn't prevent infection or transmission.

Know what? You have such a deep-seated fear of being perceived as a conspiracy theorist that even when you find out that the experimental injection you thought was going to protect you doesn't, you still maintain your false belief that it does.

Do you think that sets a good example when it comes to facing reality?

3: Be so angry stroke thick all the time that your rushed internet comments take several attempts to decipher . . .

Oh, I see! You don't understand that you're only being asked to share your rationale for taking a test that doesn't tell you what you need to know, and then taking an experimental injection that doesn't protect anyone around you.

You understand the question now?

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Whereas me, myself and I, I'll sit on my fat lazy arse all day and night, watching conspiracy theories on YouTube videos and "reading the forum", fighting da man from behind the safety of my computer screen. Maybe one day I might actually get off my fat lazy arse and make a YouTube channel or something. Contact a local MP or politician, ask for pandemic information via the FOI, do something useful like attend or arrange a protest march. In the meantime, I'll leave that to other people, all the real work, and instead I will sit spamming "experimental drug you sheepies" on a random chat site and doing sweet FA about it at all.

As a former 3 year old, I feel their frustration.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

PART THIRTY FOUR

Are you furious about plans to give various life saving vaccines to other humans?

Find out exactly what type of anti-science beIIend you are below:

Permanently angry parent

Your rage about exaggerated risks like vaccines, grooming gangs and LGBT education for the under-fives is what keeps you going, occupying far more of your time than doing something useful like teaching your children to fVcking read.

Full-on conspiracy loon

Vaccine paranoia fits neatly into your terrifying imaginary world of New World Orders, 5G stranger danger and 9/11 truths. If anything, vaccines are the least of your worries when you’re headed for a Secret Service death camp run by a Satanic-Illuminati cabal and their anal-probing alien buddies.

Science dunce

You were sh1t at science at school, so science is clearly sh1t. You believe vaccines cause covid, death, autism and electrical waves from street lights are the cause of your headaches, not Vodkat from Asda.

Washed-up celebrity

If you’re an ancient DJ, past-it model or former member of a dire, two-hit 1990s pop band, anti-vaxxer views offer a last taste of fame. Really you should do the dignified thing and quietly fade into appearing in panto in Romford.

True drivel believer

You have a gullible belief in any fringe bullsh1t, including but not restricted to: healing crystals, ghosts, angels, past life regression, colonic irrigation and Slender Man. Everything you believe is fvck-witted nonsense, but at least you’re consistent.

Professional right-wing contrarian

If you’re Katie Hopkins or similar, anti-vaccine hysteria is a great opportunity to grind some dismal axe about ‘the nanny state telling you what to do’. You’d be in favour of smallpox if it played well on Twitter. YouTube, substack or Infowars.

 

[Brass]

As a former 3 year old, I feel their frustration.

Since there is no reasonable rationale for taking a test that doesn't tell you what you need to know, and for taking an experimental injection that doesn't protect you or anyone around you, you've lost all credibility . . . UNLESS you can conjure up a rationale for taking what doesn't work for something you don't have.

But you can't do that, can you? Must be frustrating to be called out on your bullshyt and then have no choice but to do your rendition of someone too braindead to know that pretending to not understand what you're being asked is the absolute worst choice of responses.

Why do you stupidly continue your bullshyt when even the manufacturer of the experimental injection knows that it doesn't prevent infection or transmission? Maybe you should call them and straighten them out since you seem to believe that you're right and they're wrong.

Why don't you prove you can read and comprehend by telling us all what this means about the test you took?

“Detection of viral RNA may not indicate the presence of infectious virus or that 2019-nCoV is the causative agent for clinical symptoms. The performance of this test has not been established for monitoring treatment of 2019-nCoV infection. This test cannot rule out diseases caused by other bacterial or viral pathogens.” — The Centers For Disease Control and Prevention

Goodness! What ever could it mean?

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

PART THIRTY FIVE

Become the resident conspiracist Covid denier for an online forum in six easy steps.​

Bored of coronavirus and endless vaccines?

Why not convince yourself and anyone unlucky enough to read your online forum it’s a hoax?


Misunderstand graphs

Spamming the forum with screenshots of graphs will make you feel like a scientist, even though you know nothing about graphs except down is bad and up is good, apart from when it’s the reverse.

Share endless unhinged YouTube videos

Click on one, and suddenly every other YouTuber recommended knows the plandemic is locking down the world for China’s benefit to brainwash people into becoming communists like Microsoft billionaire Bill Gates. Anyone who disagrees is ‘sheeple’.

It’s all covered up

After countless forum postings the bullshit you’ve read on Infowars/substack/Facebook or Twitter has been removed or flagged as containing questionable information? That’s Bill Gates and the New World Government covering it up. But it was true, definitely, and if you’d seen it you’d be convinced.

Retreat into vagueness

When asked to back up claims that the vaccine is killing people, don’t bother. Simply post information from uncredited fake news sites ‘It’s all out there if you bother to look.’ Mysterious, compelling, and means you can say any old crap.

Have no solutions

You’re against masks and against the vaccine. When asked how infecting hundreds of thousands of people and overwhelming the NHS is a good idea, insinuate that nurses, doctors and medical personnel are over paid shills and actors helping to perpetuate government lies.

Get chucked out of the substack/reddit group

You won’t mind though, because your friends are obviously credulous fools and your real mates are on your demented Covid-denying daily forum postings anyway

 

[Brass]

PART THIRTY FIVE

After countless forum postings the bullshit you’ve read on Infowars/substack/Facebook or . . . ​

“Detection of viral RNA may not indicate the presence of infectious virus or that 2019-nCoV is the causative agent for clinical symptoms. The performance of this test has not been established for monitoring treatment of 2019-nCoV infection. This test cannot rule out diseases caused by other bacterial or viral pathogens.” — The Centers For Disease Control and Prevention

Looks like you're going to have to add the CDC to your list of bullshitters. See where your denial has landed you? Now you have to convince us that the CDC is a bullshit source. Where's your evidence for such a paranoid claim?

Oh, I forgot you can't talk, and we all know why that is, don't we?

 

[Brass]

Unfortunately it thinks it is a smart arse, but this one is now dredging the very bottom of the swamp, and there really is nowhere else for it to go from here. From the white supremacist conspiracy theory site Infowars to the scam conspiracy theory site Substack. Substack describes itself as "a tool for publishing newsletters". It's the Uber of online publication websites, just as Uber claim drivers are not the core of its business model, Substack claims writers are not core to theirs and just like Uber it also claims that it's only an 'App'.

The same exploitative and corrupt "corporatism" the OP has whined about for 3 years and counting in over 10,000 posts. Substack lures in hungry 'Joe Blogg' who wants to put food on the table for his children, claiming that he will make a very good living from subscriptions on the platform. But, when in fact it already has employed a "secret" cartel of anonymous "newsletter writers" and who are already earning large six figure sums from advances based on potential future subscriptions.

It is in fact an editorial policy to choose who gets advances or not, anonymous, sly, and clearly not an App. 'Joe Blogg' continuously feeds Substack with the bulk of its content for a pittance because he is hoping to climb the Ponzi scheme to the big bucks and when in fact the odds are already heavily stacked against him due to the pre-existing secret cartel and ethical journalism means transparency should be at all levels in an organisation.

This site is not worth a dime, well except the hundreds of millions of dollars it is raking in on the back of Joe Bloggs endeavours and the conspiracy theorist ravenous for their next conspiracy fix. The company is worth an estimated $650 million, up $600 million since the pandemic, and the top 'newsletter writers' earn $1,000,000 + annually.

I assume you're standing in for the whale-person.

Okay. That's fine.

“Detection of viral RNA may not indicate the presence of infectious virus or that 2019-nCoV is the causative agent for clinical symptoms. The performance of this test has not been established for monitoring treatment of 2019-nCoV infection. This test cannot rule out diseases caused by other bacterial or viral pathogens.” — The Centers For Disease Control and Prevention

Now stop running and tell me what you think this means . . . if not what it actually says.