Sexist deeply offended after being called a misogynist.

[Kev45]

A woman whose friends claim she is paranoid about being stalked by a seagull is not remotely paranoid, the seagull has admitted.

Brighton-based seagull Lord Bishop, aged 47, revealed to his fellow gulls that office worker Julie Sagefist has been told by friends to stop ‘talking nonsense’ about a sinister-looking seagull that ‘follows her around and stares at her’.

Bishop said: They all think she's mad. It’s brilliant.

She will probably lose her job and have to move to a smaller place, and men will find her less attractive.

“And I will enjoy it all because I am a seagull.”

Julie said: “It is, it’s bloody following me. Everywhere I go. Whatever I do. Of course, maybe there’s a chance I’m just being paranoid. Yes, I’m just being paranoid.”

“Yes, you’re just being paranoid,” added Bishop, perched on the ledge outside Julies bedroom, staring at her with his beady little eyes.

 

[Moriarty]

THE Metropolitan Police are ignoring the report calling them racist, misogynistic and homophobic because it was written by some daft f**king bird.

A year-long review by Baroness Casey which condemns systemic failures and institutional prejudice has been dismissed as ‘her whining because she’s a minger’.

Detective inspector Martin Bishop, aged 57, said: "Women. They just don’t get banter."

One little joke in their cup of tea, and they act like it’s the end of the world.

What, we’re supposed to treat this report, which basically collects every moan from every tw%t on the force who can’t take a joke, as if it’s a big deal? Piss off. Who gave her the authority?

No, like the gaffer said, all this institutional bollocks is ‘ambiguous and politicised’. Which means we’ll deal with it the Met way, by losing the evidence and closing the investigation.

We can’t go listening to women all the time, or half the stuff the lads get up to would be a serious crime. And what kind of police would we have if they were all locked up? Exactly!

Sorry Sam.

I used to get flowers delivered to my ex every friday afternoon at work.
The guy who delivered them was actually a mate of mine, small town world.

My ex worked in a machinists shop, making overalls.
All women on the shop floor.

He actually laughed about delivering flowers there because of the sh** they said about him.
Half of them were asking him to strip off, some came onto him physically and a few flashed their tits for chuckles.

So how one can say the male workplace is bad for women when the womens workplace is just as toxic for men.

Tis laughable.

 

[Kev45]

STRUGGLING to please a lady in bed? Never fear, for I, Stephen Malley, aged 59, unemployed sausage maker and expert on women and sex from years of online study, can deliver you to sexual greatness:

Skip the foreplay

You’re here to have sex, right? Then, like you, she wants to get down to it. Move straight from turning the light out to penetration. Everything else is just needless procrastination, which two ready-to-go adults like yourselves can do away with in favour of the main event. Why hang around?

Go fast

When it comes to lovemaking, time is of the essence. Don’t waste either of your evenings with slow, languid movements. That time could be better spent listening to your original jazz compositions or watching cool YouTube videos you’re sure she’ll love. Her orgasm? Her affair.

Stay absolutely silent

Women go in for all that moaning and groaning, but not us guys. I used to try and keep up light, pleasant conversation with my girlfriends until one of my many, many sexual partners told me in no uncertain terms to ‘shut the f**k up’. This tells me all girls like a partner who keeps stoically silent while performing their duties.

Get ideas from porn

Women love variety, and the best way to get ideas for new positions and role-play is straight from the source itself – internet pornography. Want to really excite her? Spring a surprising new position on her out of the blue. If she doesn’t have the upper-body strength to hang upside down from the ceiling light, that’s her problem.

Provide immediate feedback

You’ve already hit the jackpot having me as your sex coach. The only way to spread the word and make sure everyone has fantastic sex from now on is to make sure your lady friends are aware of what they’re doing wrong. My advice? Do it while you’re still naked, but before she gets up, gets dressed and leaves.

 

[ladymuck]

Immature men like to have someone to blame for their problems and women are an easy target. Men are brought into the world by a woman, and in infancy, their needs are attended to by a woman. Therefore, a woman is the cause of all the problems in the world...( in their twisted view).
If more women were more selective in choosing the fathers of their children, perhaps these pathetic specimens might be bred out.

 

[Raining_Roses]

Can I selectivly quote one simple point you wrote in that diatribe.



The problem lies in the fact that the so called "Smart" women aren't the ones who are "breeding" as you so elequontly put it.



Ok, so dont have kids in your 30's.
So a declining number of families are having kids now in their twenties, they are making careers, which government loves, more tax and NI payers.

In their 30's they are more involved with careers, maybe now fulfill the itch, have a kid.

Then someone has to take time off, sets their career back, or they quit entirely.

What has that done?

Taken someone experienced and hard to replace out of the work force, wasted a univercity place which could have been used by someone who could have worked another 30 years and paid tax?

These are very complex questions people aren't asking, which have serious knock on effects over decades.

It's easy to say "Well this is such and such" but lets be honest, we have no idea how to cope with the massive debt our government has put on us.
You know it's about 51 thousand pounds per person in the UK that is our current government debt.

How do we pay for that, import more people because we arent having enough of our own grown into the taxpayer chain.
It's not only about falling birth rates, its about spending.

I remember saying back in 2020 to my brother who was loving working from home because of COVID you will regret this in a few years when your mortgage goes up.
He said I was full of shite.
Now he is paying over 800 per month compared to the 500 he was paying back then.


Anyway, feck knows what this has to do with misogny, just having a chat

Most of this response reads like a summary of pop psych tit-bits and nostalgia.
“Oh, if only women would have stayed in the kitchen and constantly bred like good little girls, we wouldn’t have had to spend all that money on educating them and they could have been put in the factories later on in life to pay back all the money their men had to spend on them, while they were bare foot and pregnant and raising lots of little potential tax payers".
That’s what I’m hearing here through your diatribe and questions that you answer for yourself.

 

[Moriarty]

Just for fun.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

A man in the UKChat forum comments is today trying to convince everyone he is the one laughing, by adding three cry-laugh emojis into a forum thread in which he being roundly mocked by much brighter people.

“No, you’re the triggered one!” he added, in an unnecessary addendum, given his belief that the three cry-laugh emojis or saying 'just for fun', were all that was required to illustrate that he was actually very happy with how the thread was developing.

“I am the one laughing at all of YOU,” he went on, apparently keen for everyone to ignore is ongoing descent into delirious snowflakery.

“I can here to trigger you all, and I’ve succeeded, clearly demonstrated by the fact that so many of you have responded in a mocking tone while expressing unerringly accurate opinions on the sad state of my personal life.

“Who cares if you all seem to know how deeply unhappy I am in the real world, and how everything in my life turns to failure, I got you to reply to my comment, so I am the REAL winner.

“Yes I am, shut up.”

However, not everyone in the thread is convinced by his attempts to cover up his inadequacies with three cry-laugh emojis or stating 'just for fun'.

As one commenter, Si Willis, explained, “Everyone knows that the three cry-laugh emojis or the phrase 'just for fun', are the universal signs of of the desperately triggered who don’t want everyone to know they’re triggered.

“One cry laugh emoji is fine – the cry-laugh is something we all do from time to time. Two of them is a bit much, if we’re being honest, but if it was REALLY funny, then fair enough. But three? No. Never use three. Everyone knows that if you share three cry-laugh emojis you might as well share a selfie of you crying in the corner with a snot bubble emerging from your nose. And its even worse if you type the words 'just for fun!'.

“It's universally known as the signal for ‘I am hating every minute of this but I can’t walk away now and prove them all right’.

“Of course, we can’t rule out the slim possibility that they have such a low-IQ that they don’t actually realise they’re being mocked by literally everyone in the thread.

“So, they’re either a massively triggered snowflake, or an an Olympic level moron. You decide.”

TY@NT

 

[Moriarty]

Damn, here was me thinking that "Just for fun" was simply a label for something to humorously question or simply laugh at.

As for “More the knowledge, lesser the ego. Lesser the knowledge, more the ego.” – Albert Einstein

Wasn't it:-
"Ego = 1/knowledge
More the knowledge, lesser the ego,
Lesser the knowledge, more the ego."

Which can eqaute to 1/0 if one has no knowledge.
Yet you can't divide by zero, well you can with calculus in theory, but that gives you infinity.

Pretty sure Einstein knew that, hence it has to be a meme.

 

[Kev45]

SHOP assistants who are friendly are just doing their jobs and do not desperately fancy their customers, men have been told.

The workers confirmed that they are trained to be nice to everyone because it encourages them to spend more money, and are not inviting pathetic men to make passes at them.

Shopper Milton Friedman, aged 57, an unemployed magnet fisherman, said: "I know I’m an incredibly attractive man because whenever I go shopping, the woman behind the till always flirts with me."

"I can tell she’s flirting because she smiles and says hello."

"I like supermarkets best because I can do a really big boy shop which takes ages to beep through, maximising the time the sales assistant can spend trying to get into my y-fronts."

Shop assistant Emma Bradshaw said: “Oh, you mean that weird bloke who comes in twice a day? Yeah, we humour him because we think he’s away with the fairies."

 

[Moriarty]

I dunno I have had a sexual relationship with a shop assistant at my local supermarket.
I asked her out and she accepted.

We are now seeing each other regularly when I visit the same shop or she gets lonely.

Together, no, she has a husband who she is seperated from and would prefer it just be fun.

So sometimes, shop assistants need love to.

 

[Confused_Fred]

It's important to recognize that friendly behavior from shop assistants is often part of their job to provide good customer service and encourage customers to have a positive shopping experience. While some individuals may misinterpret friendly interactions as romantic interest, it's essential to understand the professional context in which these interactions occur.

Assuming romantic interest based solely on friendly behavior can lead to misunderstandings and discomfort for both the shop assistants and the customers. It's important for everyone to respect boundaries and not make unwelcome advances or assumptions about others' intentions.

If someone is unsure about the nature of a shop assistant's behavior, it's best to err on the side of caution and assume that they are simply doing their job. Engaging in respectful and appropriate interactions is key to fostering a positive shopping environment for everyone involved.

 

[Billyliar]

Mori Hiya fella hope your good, I'd like to take that Mr Humphreys from are you being served out, what a gorgeous piece of ass he is!