My great grandad, fort in the war - a first date with Joey Barton.

Kev45

A beautiful sunset that was mistaken for a dawn.
Joined
Nov 2, 2022
Messages
738
Reaction score
530
ARE you lucky enough to have a date with former Man-City-journeyman- before-the-club-were-good-Joey Barton? These conversational pearls will slip from his lips:


‘Did you sleep your way to the top?’


This is bound to come up if talking about your job. Joey knows full well female football commentators only got in by shagging Lineker in the BBC broom cupboard, and expects the same of you, even if you work in Tesco. Don’t deny it. He respects a woman who’s shagged their supervisor in the cold store for a go on the Whoops! Sticker gun.

‘My great grandad wasn’t gassed at Ypres so women could be slags’

If it wasn’t for brave men like Joey’s great grandad, he wouldn’t have free speech to express his important opinion that women are basically whores. He’ll ensure you understand the full gravity of that 1917 sacrifice by explaining how mustard gas makes your lungs fill up with bloody mucus, even if it’s putting you off the chili con carne and garlic bread he thoughtfully chose for you from the menu.

‘Shut up about man things’

You may try to comment on things only men understand. He’ll quickly nip this in the bud. Areas women should not speak of include: fishing, science, cars, films, politics, food, aliens, animals and beer and all sport but particularly football. To be honest, it’s not a huge problem, because you’ll mainly be discussing Joey’s mediocre football career and numerous court appearances for random violence.

‘Women have smaller brains, therefore the Lionesses lost 1-0 to Spain’

Because woman have big hips for babies, they have small brains, like walnuts. Which is why women’s football is such a joke. When a ball comes towards them they won’t give it a good kick because they think it’s a baby and start lactating, Joey mansplains kindly, worrying you’ll struggle with the long words.

‘Did we fight Nazi zombies so perverts can use ladies’ toilets?’

In the war Britain stood alone against the Nazi zombies, and all for what? For men to go in women’s toilets? Joey brushes aside any attempt to inform him that the Nazis weren’t zombies and never conquered the moon. ‘I know what he saw,’ he hisses, taking another swig from his pint of Stella.

‘Do you want me to arm wrestle that woman over there?’

By this point, Joey is less than coherent. It is unclear which woman he is referring to, or what point he feels it will prove. Your response is irrelevant, because he will not hear anything you say.

‘You’re like Rose West’

Ultimately, Joey will close the date by comparing you, because you are a woman, to Rose West. It's male banter, if you don’t like it, you can’t take a joke, and the last thing he has time for is a relationship with a pseudo-intellectual, self-important twat with an over-inflated ego who has no idea what an arse they’re making of themselves.
 

Kev45

A beautiful sunset that was mistaken for a dawn.
Joined
Nov 2, 2022
Messages
738
Reaction score
530
happy-pride-day-hand-holds-rainbow-fan-ribbon-rainbow-design-wrist-flat-lay-top-view-off-white...jpg
 

TwoWhalesInAPool

UKChat Celebrity
Joined
Aug 12, 2018
Messages
3,623
Reaction score
2,207
.
@Kev45

The passive aggressive homophobic ranting being spewed your way is very similar to the passive aggressive attacks it constantly makes on mental health issues. This show of vulgarity and the inability to demonstrate decent argument is tardy and utterly common!

beagle side eye.jpg
 

Kev45

A beautiful sunset that was mistaken for a dawn.
Joined
Nov 2, 2022
Messages
738
Reaction score
530
The passive aggressive homophobic ranting being spewed your way is very similar to the passive aggressive attacks it constantly makes on mental health issues. This show of vulgarity and the inability to demonstrate decent argument is tardy and utterly common!

Extremely crude and vulgar and 100% a homophobe as well as 100% an Islamophobe. :rolleyes:

He is simply not brave enough to air his views, on topics such as homosexuality, sex outside marriage, living in sin and equality between men and women, and is clearly a moral coward of the first degree. A moral coward simply because he spams his edited selective plagiarized preachy (angry) unscientific sermons' courtesy of a translation of the bible written in 1961 but deliberately omits all the juicy bits. :oops:

Reminds me of the pandemic rabble (lol).

But of course what really triggered him was.

pseudo-intellectual, self-important twat with an over-inflated ego who has no idea what an arse they’re making of themselves.
 

Kev45

A beautiful sunset that was mistaken for a dawn.
Joined
Nov 2, 2022
Messages
738
Reaction score
530
hippo side eye.jpg

And have a hippo for good measure preachy boy :)
 

Kev45

A beautiful sunset that was mistaken for a dawn.
Joined
Nov 2, 2022
Messages
738
Reaction score
530
LOL!

Since it has reached 'my dad is bigger than your dad' how about this?

You're just an attention seeking egotistical silly hunt who claims to be a Jehovah Witness, endlessly preaching disjointed plagiarized unscientific babble, yet who constantly breaks all their rules and who runs round this site falling out with ANYONE who tells you to stfu when you constantly preach about a "god" whose rules you yourself don't follow.

You shapeshifting evil little demon. :)

I have seen the most well-balanced PLACID people in main chat, who NEVER argue, who NEVER get involved in the room politics, iggy your godforsaken sorry arse.

Now run along, little man, and go and make yourself useful. :D
 

Kev45

A beautiful sunset that was mistaken for a dawn.
Joined
Nov 2, 2022
Messages
738
Reaction score
530
Yes, it was a deliberate Joey Bartonism.

When even the Daily Mail, the Express and GB News are mocking you then it is time to give up the day job, which at the moment is an "anti-woke" agenda and publishing his new internet channel, and after he lost yet another job for his constantly aggressive behaviour.

"You can't silence me because I have resources blah blah"

Well spend some of your "resources", you're a middle-aged man after all you sad sack, and pay for an anger management course. ;)
 

TwoWhalesInAPool

UKChat Celebrity
Joined
Aug 12, 2018
Messages
3,623
Reaction score
2,207
LOL!

Since it has reached 'my dad is bigger than your dad' how about this?

You're just an attention seeking egotistical silly hunt who claims to be a Jehovah Witness, endlessly preaching disjointed plagiarized unscientific babble, yet who constantly breaks all their rules and who runs round this site falling out with ANYONE who tells you to stfu when you constantly preach about a "god" whose rules you yourself don't follow.

You shapeshifting evil little demon. :)

I have seen the most well-balanced PLACID people in main chat, who NEVER argue, who NEVER get involved in the room politics, iggy your godforsaken sorry arse.

Now run along, little man, and go and make yourself useful. :D

LOL!

Right on the mark!

You have that triggered snowflake to a tee.


hand clap.gif
 
Last edited:

WickedPerdition

Chat Celebrity of the Decade*.
Joined
Dec 22, 2019
Messages
1,313
Reaction score
671
So, you think that acting like a fool is something to be proud of, do you?

More fool you!

Joey Barton is only thinking out loud what a lot of people are thinking in silence. He's not another Gary Lineker.

He declined appearing on GB News because he has principles! It wouldn't do you any harm establishing some yourself.
 
Last edited:

Kev45

A beautiful sunset that was mistaken for a dawn.
Joined
Nov 2, 2022
Messages
738
Reaction score
530
So, you think that acting like a fool is something to be proud of, do you?

More fool you!

... Conformist


Yet you are a conformist (and a fantasist), and you do exactly what the "man" tells you to do and exactly when he tells you, both online and off. Like some other people, you have carved out a role online as a "rebel without a cause".


But let's get back onto Joey Barton.

He declined appearing on GB News because he has principles! It wouldn't do you any harm establishing some yourself.

Joey Barton described the horrific RACIST icepick murder of a young black man by his own brother, a young black man who had also been racially abused by his own brother and his friends, and after being ambushed by his own brother, as just a "f*cking scrap".

You condemn "online foolery" while condoning the RACIST, barbaric slaughter of a totally innocent teenager.

He's not another Gary Lineker.

No because Linekar doesn't have multiple conviction for violent assault and multiple job losses due to violent aggressive behaviour.




That is the difference between us and the likes of you. :rolleyes:
 
Last edited:

WickedPerdition

Chat Celebrity of the Decade*.
Joined
Dec 22, 2019
Messages
1,313
Reaction score
671
I think your Forum 'insult repertoire' is rapidly coming to a standstill.

However,
I am still forgiving you ... even if A_Son_of_God just gave you a right royal whipping.


:eek:
 

Kev45

A beautiful sunset that was mistaken for a dawn.
Joined
Nov 2, 2022
Messages
738
Reaction score
530
I think your Forum 'insult repertoire' is rapidly coming to a standstill.

However,
I am still forgiving you ... even if A_Son_of_God just gave you a right royal whipping.


:eek:

Whereas you get a damn good whipping on the MULTIPLE occasions, as an elderly man, which you gloat about publicly, when you receive yet ANOTHER main chat ban.

Boasting about getting banned on an internet chat site... A right bad boy you are, eh....


Are you banned again, btw?

LOL! :D
 

WickedPerdition

Chat Celebrity of the Decade*.
Joined
Dec 22, 2019
Messages
1,313
Reaction score
671

Kev45:​

You make me want to be a better 'man'.

Joined: Nov 2, 2022Messages505
Reaction score328

I AM 'the better man'.
You should now concentrate your efforts on being 'a better woman'.

:rolleyes:
 

Kev45

A beautiful sunset that was mistaken for a dawn.
Joined
Nov 2, 2022
Messages
738
Reaction score
530
A banned "better man", you mean, you sad sausage. :)

How long will it be until they perma ban you, I wonder...

Because I am certain their patience must be wearing thin by now, and you are just too STUPID to understand. :D
 

Moriarty

UKChat Celebrity
Joined
Jan 5, 2018
Messages
1,523
Reaction score
768
I do love how people are quoting the dailymash.co.uk
The same people who gave us the classic headline:-

'Where's the receipt?' asks dog
A DOG has politely asked to be given the receipt for an underwhelming gift.
 

WickedPerdition

Chat Celebrity of the Decade*.
Joined
Dec 22, 2019
Messages
1,313
Reaction score
671
I do love how people are quoting the dailymash.co.uk
The same people who gave us the classic headline:-

'Where's the receipt?' asks dog
A DOG has politely asked to be given the receipt for an underwhelming gift.

It's only recently that I have begun to appreciate your brilliant, scathing wit.

Gosh! I do hope that isn't taken as toadying by others who possess a far inferior level of wit and humour.

;)
 

Kev45

A beautiful sunset that was mistaken for a dawn.
Joined
Nov 2, 2022
Messages
738
Reaction score
530
(Since he was recently banned again :rolleyes:)
 
Back
Top