Murder on the chat floor!.. Whodunnit..

Shak

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Sorry for taking so long to update:

Some good news, PC Frost (I'm sure some of you remember him) has agreed to take on the case. He has been working tirelessly the last few days getting peoples alibis, some of which he has shared with me below.

HackAssMe, Or someone of similar description, was seen nearby with a red bra on? However, Hack has submitted his balls (golf apparently) he was playing with at said time of crime to clear his name. Balls have been reluctant to confirm the exact time Jack was playing with them though.

TinkerLaFelle & Mad Influence , Paired these two up, as each is using the other as their alibi, however both deny being together at said time.
Confusing eh! Also a tractor close to LaFelles' home was reported stolen on night of the incident. 2 people in masks holding what looked like dildo shaped cactus plants were seen riding away in it.

Kinky Dee, Gave the name Mr Jerome as her alibi. We are still waiting for him to recharge before questioning him. So far all he has managed is an exhausted buzz.

MatteLaBerk, Claims at time of said incident he was chasing a woman up the road with a Jobby on a stick. Women has yet to be found to substantiate this.

Duchess Minngo, Adamant she was in her Hot-Tub, and gave a drunk man who passed nearby as a witness. Drunk confirms he saw 6 legs waving about from hot-tub. So drunk seeing triple? or did the Duchess hire a synchronised swimming team to throw us off the mark?

Skuby Tuesday, In her cabin alone, with glitter pens... Sounds crafty to me! We all know how sharp those craft knives are.

GlenMcIt'sMyBirthdaySoon, Submitted his kettle as witness to his whereabouts on night in question. However kettle proved unreliable witness, due to since being charged with assaulting 3 tea-bags, a mug of Horlicks and a beef and tomato pot noodle. Kettle is still being held in custody,

Sean In The Pie , Told PC Frost she was with John Lennon all night! She loves him (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Wilfy la Noir, Was seen near scene of crime dancing and singing to the birdie song. No alibi as of yet.

Sliggy, Came into the station for questioning, however he could not reach the counter, so was missed by admin.

Black Fabric babe, Was also seen nearby, waving a spell book about and making everyone get naked and dance around willow trees. Can not be accounted for parts of the evening.

Blonks, Claims he is really Neil Buchanan from Art Attack, and was at the bottom of a well collecting wishes at time of incident. This has not been verified, but a pink crayon was found at scene of crime.

Frank In Suspenders, Was seen with binoculars close to Duchess Minngos Hot Tub, Sure he was just staking out her flamingo collection though.

Phew there we go. Hope this may help you get to the bottom of who done this.

Oh I see my good name was also brought into question so my alibi.

Shak, also know as 'Old Shed' was in the bath at said time of incident. She was interviewed via zoom by PC Frost live whilst in her bath today. He is persuaded oops I meant satisfied after talking to her Mr Matey bubble bath, she is proper innocent and definitely had nothing whatsoever to do with the crime.

So lets get back to the real suspects eh!

Coroners report expected tomorrow.
 

mattekudesai

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i'm going to reveal who i think the culprit and the victim was................dee, and the victim....roger...........how do i know this???....well...................i was thinking and it came to me...."wee dee?..ohhhh!!!...........killed the radio star.....sorted...columbo , eat your heart out.
 
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trishaminns

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well having read all that and noticing the donkey been mentioned a few times has our wonky donky icon slipped passed pc frost and got into the camp ???? the mind boggles :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
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Sugarplumfairy

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I made a card this morning and sang Delilah. "I felt the knife in my hand and card laughed no more"
 

Thecharmer

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The bathroom murder was my fault I left the toilet seat up and missed the bowl
Again
 

bettybooty

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I'm sure I saw Frank running around in the bathroom in his bright green mankini lol
 
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