Murder on the chat floor!.. Whodunnit..

[megs233]

I'm sure I saw Frank running around in the bathroom in his bright green mankini lol

No his is orange .
Whomenare wears bright green .

 

[Blackwolf]

Sorry for taking so long to update:

Some good news, PC Frost (I'm sure some of you remember him) has agreed to take on the case. He has been working tirelessly the last few days getting peoples alibis, some of which he has shared with me below.

HackAssMe, Or someone of similar description, was seen nearby with a red bra on? However, Hack has submitted his balls (golf apparently) he was playing with at said time of crime to clear his name. Balls have been reluctant to confirm the exact time Jack was playing with them though.

TinkerLaFelle & Mad Influence , Paired these two up, as each is using the other as their alibi, however both deny being together at said time.
Confusing eh! Also a tractor close to LaFelles' home was reported stolen on night of the incident. 2 people in masks holding what looked like dildo shaped cactus plants were seen riding away in it.

Kinky Dee, Gave the name Mr Jerome as her alibi. We are still waiting for him to recharge before questioning him. So far all he has managed is an exhausted buzz.

MatteLaBerk, Claims at time of said incident he was chasing a woman up the road with a Jobby on a stick. Women has yet to be found to substantiate this.

Duchess Minngo, Adamant she was in her Hot-Tub, and gave a drunk man who passed nearby as a witness. Drunk confirms he saw 6 legs waving about from hot-tub. So drunk seeing triple? or did the Duchess hire a synchronised swimming team to throw us off the mark?

Skuby Tuesday, In her cabin alone, with glitter pens... Sounds crafty to me! We all know how sharp those craft knives are.

GlenMcIt'sMyBirthdaySoon, Submitted his kettle as witness to his whereabouts on night in question. However kettle proved unreliable witness, due to since being charged with assaulting 3 tea-bags, a mug of Horlicks and a beef and tomato pot noodle. Kettle is still being held in custody,

Sean In The Pie , Told PC Frost she was with John Lennon all night! She loves him (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Wilfy la Noir, Was seen near scene of crime dancing and singing to the birdie song. No alibi as of yet.

Sliggy, Came into the station for questioning, however he could not reach the counter, so was missed by admin.

Black Fabric babe, Was also seen nearby, waving a spell book about and making everyone get naked and dance around willow trees. Can not be accounted for parts of the evening.

Blonks, Claims he is really Neil Buchanan from Art Attack, and was at the bottom of a well collecting wishes at time of incident. This has not been verified, but a pink crayon was found at scene of crime.

Frank In Suspenders, Was seen with binoculars close to Duchess Minngos Hot Tub, Sure he was just staking out her flamingo collection though.

Phew there we go. Hope this may help you get to the bottom of who done this.

Oh I see my good name was also brought into question so my alibi.

Shak, also know as 'Old Shed' was in the bath at said time of incident. She was interviewed via zoom by PC Frost live whilst in her bath today. He is persuaded oops I meant satisfied after talking to her Mr Matey bubble bath, she is proper innocent and definitely had nothing whatsoever to do with the crime.

So lets get back to the real suspects eh!

Coroners report expected tomorrow.

i only appear on weekends due to carrying the weight and work on my shoulders, have got timetables to prove that

 

[trishaminns]

i saw u on a swing with a wonkey donkey near to the crime scene i sent in my trusty spying flamingos they saw u

 

[Bad_Influence]

new evidence what do the above all have in common lol

All can be found in Tinks’ wardrobe?

 

[jackassme]

All can be found in Tinks’ wardrobe?

With the KY ?

 

[Bad_Influence]

With the KY ?

Pmsl. She has foregone the KY for Deep Heat. It’s very concerning.

 

[Shak]

PC Frost informed me today of a couple of new suspects.

LaidBackIron, Lovely Green fonter, was seen by witnesses at time of crime juggling tomatoes and offering lunches, to other suspects.

Also shocking as it seems, our very own MOD Lau Chick. Who was Senior Operations Detective at start of investigation SODS Lau.
Has not been ruled out, she was questioned by several top officers but all appeared to be hypnotised by her stupendous boobs, so unable to confirm if she is out the picture or not!

 

[trishaminns]

i blame fester and lamb chops they re pc frosts freinds they have fanwans in common lol

 

[jackassme]

I think someone would have recognised me in my new trousers that i bought that day !!

 

[bettybooty]

Well sexy they are jack

 

[Tinkerbelle]

View attachment 2541 I think someone would have recognised me in my new trousers that i bought that day !!

Lovely. Bet u look a bobby dazzler in them beauts lol

 

[OllieOctpus3]

i am out of the frame the time of the murder i was busy elsewhere my hands were tied up lol if i was the murderer i could easily hold 8 guns and hide them lol

 

[Sugarplumfairy]

Yeah right Jack, as if you would be seen in a pair of trousers like that!!...Stop trying to make up alibies, one is a possibility but all different ones? No way and that is the reason so many are pointing a finger at you. Come clean!!! You are deffo suss. Besides, don't take much to change ya troosers, you don't even need a bush if you can't find one lol. You could have put those eyesores on after the crime!! They are worse than Shak in a cardi.

 

[Blackwolf]

judging by her conspicuous absence for the past few weeks i would hazard a guess at missc being involved

 

[OllieOctpus3]

well it wasnt me as i could easily have done it holding 8 guns but i did see bad and tinks doing a rendition of bonnie and clyde driving in a chitty chitty bang bang car firing shots out window and they tried to hide evidence at trishas house and dumped car there and threw guns in bushes if that helps lol

 

[Bad_Influence]

well it wasnt me as i could easily have done it holding 8 guns but i did see bad and tinks doing a rendition of bonnie and clyde driving in a chitty chitty bang bang car firing shots out window and they tried to hide evidence at trishas house and dumped car there and threw guns in bushes if that helps lol

So you admit to being in the vicinity? Very interesting.

 

[OllieOctpus3]

So you admit to being in the vicinity? Very interesting.

nah i was passing through getting a chinese dont know the area and i saw this bonnie n clyde rtendition noticed yours and tinks pics shooting out window lol i had to run so my rice didnt fall on floor lol

 

[jackassme]

Gotta be full blast !!!!!

 

[Shak]

Newsflash:

Previously absent chatter, and fellow member of the Muffateers. Who we shall name Miss Creates-fun,
Has been forced out of hiding today, after being spotted at scene of crime by the bloke who used to mow oops I mean trim her down below bits.
Former gardener, known as 'Gonad Gaz' said It was definitely her, as he was lounging in the grass making daisy chains, when he glanced up.
He said he'd recognise that view anywhere, make no mistake.

Is this the break PC Frost has been looking for? Did Miss Creates-fun lure a chatter with the promise of a bit of rumpy pumpy and finish them off?

Keep tuned for further updates and coroners report due to be published soon.

 

[TheBabayaga]

Not sure what to make of that, what could it all mean??