dating, online friendship

[Anonymous1]

Only ONE reaction to that ......
and ... may the Lord be with you.

I don’t get ya. Is that a good thing or bad? Im new here so just a cheeky remark that’s all

 

[WickedPerdition]

I don’t get ya. Is that a good thing or bad? Im new here so just a cheeky remark that’s all

Anonymous was going to be MY first choice of screen name but I was disappointed to find that over 20,000 others had beaten me to it.
It's good to be inventive.

 

[Wojcik]

You can actually get checks undertaken, if you believe someone you are in a relationship with has been convicted of sexual offences and/or domestic abuse- Claire's Law and Sarah's Law.
Oddly though, if a bloke is screaming 'I wanna be sure she ain't mental, before I date her', I see it as projection. He's generally the one with the problem.

I was joking, but i had no idea that was a thing. Yeah, i agree, it seems as though dealing with domestic abuse isn't dealt with on an equal footing. Men also suffer in silence from their partner's abuse, but may feel ashamed to speak out or seek help, or believe that no one would help them(which can lead to male suicide in some cases). I mean who would believe that a smaller woman could inflict physical and mental abuse on a man? I rarely hear about cases of domestic abuse towards men on TV or in the media.

 

[CrazyCatLady]

I was joking, but i had no idea that was a thing. Yeah, i agree, it seems as though dealing with domestic abuse isn't dealt with on an equal footing. Men also suffer in silence from their partner's abuse, but may feel ashamed to speak out or seek help, or believe that no one would help them(which can lead to male suicide in some cases). I mean who would believe that a smaller woman could inflict physical and mental abuse on a man? I rarely hear about cases of domestic abuse towards men on TV or in the media.

You are very right and you have a valid point. I expect the wider view is that the man is stronger- more able to defend himself against an abusive female partner. Yet when it comes to domestic abuse, it's not just the violence or aggression in a relationship- there's coercion, bullying, gas lighting- and women are very good at them and they are still very much DV.
Men are less likely to report it or even view that they are being domestically abused because of dominant male stereotypes that tell them they can't be domestic abuse victims, when the reality is that DV can occur in any kind of relationship, irrespective of gender or sexuality of those in it. Men, as well as women, can access Claire's Law- but given that women don't get charged with DV offences as much as men, I expect it's not a greatly tool to access for a man.

Male or female, like anyone going into a new relationship, you have to look for the 'red flags'- the little things that they show possessiveness over that they shouldn't, ways in which they want to 'save' or change you and listen to them- the language someone uses is a big teller. And if those flags are there- run!
The problem is people get emotionally invested far too quickly and they develop the 'halo' effect. Keep the halo for when they're dead and look for the flags instead.

 

[Altair]

Anonymous was going to be MY first choice of screen name but I was disappointed to find that over 20,000 others had beaten me to it.
It's good to be inventive

You are very right and you have a valid point. I expect the wider view is that the man is stronger- more able to defend himself against an abusive female partner. Yet when it comes to domestic abuse, it's not just the violence or aggression in a relationship- there's coercion, bullying, gas lighting- and women are very good at them and they are still very much DV.
Men are less likely to report it or even view that they are being domestically abused because of dominant male stereotypes that tell them they can't be domestic abuse victims, when the reality is that DV can occur in any kind of relationship, irrespective of gender or sexuality of those in it. Men, as well as women, can access Claire's Law- but given that women don't get charged with DV offences as much as men, I expect it's not a greatly tool to access for a man.

Male or female, like anyone going into a new relationship, you have to look for the 'red flags'- the little things that they show possessiveness over that they shouldn't, ways in which they want to 'save' or change you and listen to them- the language someone uses is a big teller. And if those flags are there- run!
The problem is people get emotionally invested far too quickly and they develop the 'halo' effect. Keep the halo for when they're dead and look for the flags instead.

Sod all that malarky....Stay single and avoid it like the plague..

 

[Altair]

Anonymous was going to be MY first choice of screen name but I was disappointed to find that over 20,000 others had beaten me to it.
It's good to be inventive.

ANON is the screen name I have on many sites , dating back to 1997.

 

[CrazyCatLady]

Sod all that malarky....Stay single and avoid it like the plague..

I have....for the past....(trying hard to remember).....over a decade- properly single (i.e. from actually sharing things). Although there was a very short lived dalliance about 5 years ago.

 

[Altair]

I have....for the past....(trying hard to remember).....over a decade- properly single (i.e. from actually sharing things). Although there was a very short lived dalliance about 5 years ago.

Dalliance?.. WTF does that mean?...

 

[CrazyCatLady]

Dalliance?.. WTF does that mean?...

 

[Altair]

Nah nah...No...Tell me you tit.

 

[CrazyCatLady]

Nah nah...No...Tell me you tit.

Pahahahaha....I can't remember the last time I was called a tit! Is that a top level twat?

Altair, you are a grown man, so I'm sure you understand what a dalliance is. The dictionary states that it is a 1- casual romantic or sexual relationship or 2- a brief period or casual involvement with something.
And that's exactly what it was.

A relationship on the other hand is an enduring involvement, whereas a dalliance isn't.

 

[Altair]

Pahahahaha....I can't remember the last time I was called a tit! Is that a top level twat?

Altair, you are a grown man, so I'm sure you understand what a dalliance is. The dictionary states that it is a 1- casual romantic or sexual relationship or 2- a brief period or casual involvement with something.
And that's exactly what it was.

A relationship on the other hand is an enduring involvement, whereas a dalliance isn't.

Nothing of the sort.

I was testing your resolve. That's all..

 

[WickedPerdition]

Sod all that malarky....Stay single and avoid it like the plague..

Why was it necessary to quote my response to another contributor? It isn't even relative to the point you are attempting to make.

 

[Lucylockett]

I would say be very cautious, get to know them but you really don’t know them until you meet them . If a person makes lots of excuses not to meet or changes plans all the time then they either have something to hide or they are a game playing evil feked up catfish… be careful because it’s a messed up online world out there

 

[fonzie]

Met a guy off POF once. Had very abstract pictures and came across as a bit of a C U Next Tuesday, so of course to someone like me, he was intriguing and I was hooked. There were a few messages back and forth, before we met up, but it wasn't ages- a few weeks maybe. Anyway, met up with him and while he was a few pounds heavier and 10 years older than his pics, it was the same guy....and there was a 'twist' about him.
He was a complete BDSM freak...which in small doses can be fun, but when it's a whole lifestyle...nah thanks!
In short, I was too vanilla for him and he was back with the ex-mistress, as soon as her feet hit back on UK soil.

Haven't bothered to try online dating since and that was 15 years ago. In real life, I never go anywhere to meet anyone and I'm too bloody fussy anyway!

nothing.wrong with being fussy as long as you expect it back boom boom

 

[angelo]

Reading this forum is like watching a battle of the witless. Aren’t you all embarrassed?

deffo no

 

[BlackMagicBabeXx]

deffo no

not bad from someone who thinks hes from Mars

 

[angelo]

Can you get a preliminary mental health check on someone you might think about meeting? there are some unique people on here.

thanks

 

[WickedPerdition]

not bad from someone who thinks hes from Mars

My, what big eyes you've got, GRANDMA.

 

[BasildonBond]

With online dating , anything can go wrong at any time
I know the same happens with face to face dating , but there's way big a chance it can end just like that online before a meeting is even arranged
And meeting someone you've met online can be awkward obviously ! They might not be how you pictured them in any way.
People have lived with others for 50 odd years and still don't know every single thing about them , let alone someone you met online !
It's possible you may love the person you met online , but it doesn't guarantee that they're right for you

Personally, I'm done with online dating. Last time I tried it, I nearly got killed by a glancing blow from the 08.35 from Paddington.