Ya know, you bear strong resemblance . . .
Conspiracy Theory Addiction Is Real
- Thread starter TwoWhalesInAPool
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TwoWhalesInAPool
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PART FORTY EIGHT
Angry online forum commenter Mo Rawn, 59, who is convinced the government is drugging people through aircraft exhausts, Covid vaccines and Andrex toilet wipes, told forum users they shouldn’t believe reports in the media, but instead the action of an intelligent person is to adopt a belief system based on amateurish and unattributed videos on YouTube, especially PlanetNiburuIsReal666's YT channel.
Videos where the narrator uses a voice distorter to hide their identity from the forces of the New World Order are extra reliable, he added.
Mo Rawn went on to use the caps lock button to explain why it is IMPOSSIBLE FOR AN INTELLIGENT PERSON TO HOLD A DIFFERENT OPINION TO HIS.
“If you look at the evidence then mine is the only opinion possible,” explained Mo whilst ignoring mathematical evidence that conspiracies are inherently unstable.
“And yes, I do think mathematicians are in on the scam,” he added in direct reference to the above comment.
“Wake up sheeple!” He added, in the apparent belief that insulting your audience is sure to win them round.
At time of writing Mo Rawn has never had a girlfriend, but insists this is simply more evidence that all the women he meets are agents in the employ of Majestic 12.
“If women weren’t brainwashed dupes of the Illuminati they’d all totally fancy me,” he said. I also believe that the Covid vaccine has turned women against me because it makes them shape shift into a different reality
“They just get really hostile and defensive when I shout ''wake up women sheeple'' at them, which is just more proof I’m right when you think about it.”
''I also growl occasionally''.
TY@NT
You should think for yourself and agree with me, insists conspiracy theorist without slightest trace of irony
Angry online forum commenter Mo Rawn, 59, who is convinced the government is drugging people through aircraft exhausts, Covid vaccines and Andrex toilet wipes, told forum users they shouldn’t believe reports in the media, but instead the action of an intelligent person is to adopt a belief system based on amateurish and unattributed videos on YouTube, especially PlanetNiburuIsReal666's YT channel.
Videos where the narrator uses a voice distorter to hide their identity from the forces of the New World Order are extra reliable, he added.
Mo Rawn went on to use the caps lock button to explain why it is IMPOSSIBLE FOR AN INTELLIGENT PERSON TO HOLD A DIFFERENT OPINION TO HIS.
“If you look at the evidence then mine is the only opinion possible,” explained Mo whilst ignoring mathematical evidence that conspiracies are inherently unstable.
“And yes, I do think mathematicians are in on the scam,” he added in direct reference to the above comment.
“Wake up sheeple!” He added, in the apparent belief that insulting your audience is sure to win them round.
At time of writing Mo Rawn has never had a girlfriend, but insists this is simply more evidence that all the women he meets are agents in the employ of Majestic 12.
“If women weren’t brainwashed dupes of the Illuminati they’d all totally fancy me,” he said. I also believe that the Covid vaccine has turned women against me because it makes them shape shift into a different reality
“They just get really hostile and defensive when I shout ''wake up women sheeple'' at them, which is just more proof I’m right when you think about it.”
''I also growl occasionally''.
TY@NT
Kev45
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Brilliant, the Great Grabby Global Grubby Declaration whatever it and first published on a libertarian dodgy far-right site containing links to various other global conspiracies. It looks very important to the OP, because it contains "great" in it, and it is a "declaration" after all. It is supposedly supported by 16,000 imaginary scientists and up to nearly 1 million imaginary health care professionals, or so it claims to the gullible and naive doom scrollers who stumbled across it on their conspiracy theory travels online. Not only that, but it has also been suppressed by the MSM you say, but not to you, no Sir, you managed to find it two years ago, didn't you?
Which is two years faster than Pandemicoffear.
Most signatures and the vast majority, 90%, originating in the USA and that even the likes of you could have spam signed it, that's how credible it is.
Coming from totally reliable scientific sources such as the "Libertarian American Institute of Economic Research" and a Dr. Bhattacharya who was once a research fellow at the conservative Hoover Institution and where most of the content on the original source is libertarian and anti-government.
That's right, Mr Spitty, I much prefer to trust learned people, scientists, people with far more knowledge than I do and not phony online conspiracy theory toerags who make infantile hollow threats, just like you do, to spit on people they don't know online.
"Intellectual growth" and all that.
I have no idea, as clearly you are one of God's chosen ones, why you are so ANGRY about it then, do you even know?
Apparently, in Covid conspiracy bingo, 5.5 BILLION + nearly 73% of the worlds' population, are now declining both "physically" and "mentally" worldwide.
Hold on to your hats cowboys and cowgirls, it is going to become a bumpy ride.
TwoWhalesInAPool
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PART FORTY NINE
‘Legal’ ‘papers’ ‘served’ to hospital by conspiracy theorists and anti-vaxxers instantly filed under ‘crap’
The so-called ‘legal papers’ that were supposedly served to a hospital have been chucked carelessly into the drawer of a filing cabinet labelled ‘conspiracy crap’.
Six conspiracy theorists and anti-vaxxers filmed themselves turning up at a un-named hospital clutching what they believed to be legal documents that they had spent two hours the previous day generating on a neighbours printer, which they then believed they served to bemused hospital staff.
“At first I thought some patients had escaped from the psychiatric ward upstairs and made their way down here,” administrator Eleanor Gay told us.
“But I very quickly realised that these guys weren’t displaying the typical symptoms of genuine psychiatric distress – they’re just as thick as pig shlt.”
She went on, “I didn’t catch everything they were saying, partly because I was trying to do my actual job at the time, but mostly because as soon as I heard them mention the ‘Nuremberg Code’ I sort of tuned out.
“When they finally finished their inane pseudo-legal babble that they’d obviously learn off by heart from YouTuber KeepingItReel6543s channel, they left, and naturally I just chucked all the paperwork in a special drawer in the filing cabinet we reserve for such bullshit.
“So now it is sat in there along with all the promises the Tory government have made to support the NHS over the last decade.”
Conspiracy antivax bellend Ray Cyst, 58, from Wales, who was among the group attempting to serve the papers told his 5 subscribers on YouTube, “The hospital now has a legal requirement to stop their crimes against humanity of treating people with this hoax they call Covid, which doesn’t exist, in the name of the Great Bellending Deklurhashun and Nuremberg and that.''
“I got dressed up in my best tracksuit to deliver those, which definitely makes them proper legal documents.”
TY@NT
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Kev45
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Stop yapping little bunny wabbit and state your case.
If you don't, then you will be ignored again for the rest of the day.
Kev45
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One of the most complex issues for any member of society is their communication with an alcoholic or drug addict. Alcoholics can lure an innocent, unsuspecting person into a merry-go-round of senseless, sometimes inane questioning and ultimately the frustration level gets unbearable as nothing is accomplished and an explosive, engaging diatribe may transpire.
To engage means to participate. Though more times than not it turns heated and agitated, yet the engagement can also be debilitating by using the guise of a calm and controlled façade to rope you in. Regardless, engaging with someone means that you are paying attention to them and responding; positive or negative, tranquil or agitated. Chances are they enjoy any engagement; usually the agitated and infuriating kind and though unnerving for you, they would prefer negative attention to no attention at all.
The alcoholic/addict rarely listens past the first sentence, especially if it is something they do not want to hear. They will tune you out, walk away or sometimes pretend to oblige just to shut you up. They are truly masters of selective hearing.
Not engaging with the alcoholic/addict will turn out to be very uncomfortable for them, especially if they are not used to this. You've changed course on them. You've gone against the grain of what you both have been used to. In essence, you are short-circuiting their thinking.
Not engaging also means relaying what you need to say once, maybe twice, with brevity and clarity. Don't let the alcoholic/addict suck you back into a discussion that you feel you have completed. Debating the issue or questioning your motives is ways that they can keep you engaged and a participant.
To engage means to participate. Though more times than not it turns heated and agitated, yet the engagement can also be debilitating by using the guise of a calm and controlled façade to rope you in. Regardless, engaging with someone means that you are paying attention to them and responding; positive or negative, tranquil or agitated. Chances are they enjoy any engagement; usually the agitated and infuriating kind and though unnerving for you, they would prefer negative attention to no attention at all.
The alcoholic/addict rarely listens past the first sentence, especially if it is something they do not want to hear. They will tune you out, walk away or sometimes pretend to oblige just to shut you up. They are truly masters of selective hearing.
Not engaging with the alcoholic/addict will turn out to be very uncomfortable for them, especially if they are not used to this. You've changed course on them. You've gone against the grain of what you both have been used to. In essence, you are short-circuiting their thinking.
Not engaging also means relaying what you need to say once, maybe twice, with brevity and clarity. Don't let the alcoholic/addict suck you back into a discussion that you feel you have completed. Debating the issue or questioning your motives is ways that they can keep you engaged and a participant.
TwoWhalesInAPool
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PART FIFTY
Do you find that things you read in the ‘mainstream media’ don’t fit with your insane beliefs?
Here’s how to convince yourself social media is more credible.
1: Everyone agrees with me
In the echo chamber of political ranters, racists and conspiracy theorists on social media everyone probably does agree with you. Sadly, this is not due to your amazing insights, it’s because they are liars, scammers and they don’t have any friends.
2: The mainstream media is full of bias and lies
All news outlets have their own biases, which most people over the age of 12 realise. What it doesn’t mean is that you have to believe a random bloke called Alan in an online forum who thinks the EU is trying to turn Europe Islamic.
3: It’s way easier to read
Can’t disagree here. Newspaper articles require you to digest information for minutes or more, whereas tweets only take seconds. YouTube videos by strange men in dark bedrooms are best because you don’t even have to move your eyeballs to absorb bullshit. Sorry, ‘facts’.
4: Everyone in the MSM is corrupt
The only reason newspapers publish positive stories about the Covid vaccine is because every single journalist is in the pay of dark forces. Even your local paper The Argus.
5: Alex Jones said so
If you believe Alex Jones over the MSM because he’s a man of the people and they’re part of the liberal metropolitan elite, you’re so far down a demented right-wing rabbit hole you probably think Bill Gates is controlling the New World Order and his minions are implanting everyone with communist microchips.
6: Social media tells the truth
About paedophiles and liberals controlling the mainstream media. And the lizard people, obviously.
TY@TDM
Do you find that things you read in the ‘mainstream media’ don’t fit with your insane beliefs?
Here’s how to convince yourself social media is more credible.
1: Everyone agrees with me
In the echo chamber of political ranters, racists and conspiracy theorists on social media everyone probably does agree with you. Sadly, this is not due to your amazing insights, it’s because they are liars, scammers and they don’t have any friends.
2: The mainstream media is full of bias and lies
All news outlets have their own biases, which most people over the age of 12 realise. What it doesn’t mean is that you have to believe a random bloke called Alan in an online forum who thinks the EU is trying to turn Europe Islamic.
3: It’s way easier to read
Can’t disagree here. Newspaper articles require you to digest information for minutes or more, whereas tweets only take seconds. YouTube videos by strange men in dark bedrooms are best because you don’t even have to move your eyeballs to absorb bullshit. Sorry, ‘facts’.
4: Everyone in the MSM is corrupt
The only reason newspapers publish positive stories about the Covid vaccine is because every single journalist is in the pay of dark forces. Even your local paper The Argus.
5: Alex Jones said so
If you believe Alex Jones over the MSM because he’s a man of the people and they’re part of the liberal metropolitan elite, you’re so far down a demented right-wing rabbit hole you probably think Bill Gates is controlling the New World Order and his minions are implanting everyone with communist microchips.
6: Social media tells the truth
About paedophiles and liberals controlling the mainstream media. And the lizard people, obviously.
TY@TDM
TwoWhalesInAPool
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PART FIFTY ONE
Conspiracy theorists dumbfukistan of gullibility in which he is currently living
An uneducated conspiracy nutcase has drastically reduced his daily screen time by several waking minutes, it has emerged.
Ray Cyst, 63, decided it was time to take action after realising he had spent every moment of the last 5 years when not actually unconscious, glued to a phone, computer, tablet or TV.
Cyst said: “I didn’t think it would be possible. I have to use screens for trolling the internet, watching conspiracy theory InfoWars, YouTube and fake news site far right videos and taking a sh**. Even when I’m asleep I dream of staring at a glaring oblong.
“I thought about going off-grid, but when I looked into it that sounded like woke left wing nonsense. So I’ve just started having really long shits instead. It’s the only place I’m guaranteed to be free.''
“It’s working though. I’ve managed to reduce my screen time by a whopping 4 minutes. At least that’s what my phone says. I can’t help but check it every few seconds to see how I’m getting on. I’d better do it now.”
TY@TDM
Conspiracy theorists dumbfukistan of gullibility in which he is currently living
An uneducated conspiracy nutcase has drastically reduced his daily screen time by several waking minutes, it has emerged.
Ray Cyst, 63, decided it was time to take action after realising he had spent every moment of the last 5 years when not actually unconscious, glued to a phone, computer, tablet or TV.
Cyst said: “I didn’t think it would be possible. I have to use screens for trolling the internet, watching conspiracy theory InfoWars, YouTube and fake news site far right videos and taking a sh**. Even when I’m asleep I dream of staring at a glaring oblong.
“I thought about going off-grid, but when I looked into it that sounded like woke left wing nonsense. So I’ve just started having really long shits instead. It’s the only place I’m guaranteed to be free.''
“It’s working though. I’ve managed to reduce my screen time by a whopping 4 minutes. At least that’s what my phone says. I can’t help but check it every few seconds to see how I’m getting on. I’d better do it now.”
TY@TDM
TwoWhalesInAPool
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PART FIFTY TWO
That idiot guy you know from online forums who is always banging on about Covid being a conspiracy and that vaccines are ‘the thin end of the woke wedge that kills everyone’ has today told everyone that he refuses to wear a seat belt because those that do, are still dying in car crashes.
Ray Cyst, 61, is today insisting that the statistics on seat belts clearly indicate that free thinkers should avoid them like the plague – well, if the plague was real and needed avoiding, obviously.
Cyst explained on his favourite online forum, posting, “Did you know more people died in a car crash with a seatbelt ON, than those without – you don’t see THAT in the MSM, do you?
“Sure, the sheep among you will probably say that’s because pretty much everyone wears a seatbelt these days so obviously the number of drivers wearing a seatbelt in accidents is going to be way in excess of those not wearing one – but that’s just using numbers and facts to make a point, which everyone knows is how George Soros and Bill Gates want you to think.
“If you want to wear a chest nappy like a big baby, then you go right ahead – the Magna Carta says I don’t have to, so I won’t.
“Anyway, if seat belts are so good, then why are people still dying in car crashes, huh? Answer me that!
“Everyone knows that preventative safety measures are measured only in binary terms, which means they either work absolutely, or not at all – and the fact people are still dying in car crashes means they’re not working at all.
“Ipso Factum – that’s Latin for ‘I am right about this’, so checkmate you big seatbelt idiots.”
TY@NT
Conspiracist anti-vaxxer refusing to wear a seat belt because people wearing them are still dying in car crashes.
That idiot guy you know from online forums who is always banging on about Covid being a conspiracy and that vaccines are ‘the thin end of the woke wedge that kills everyone’ has today told everyone that he refuses to wear a seat belt because those that do, are still dying in car crashes.
Ray Cyst, 61, is today insisting that the statistics on seat belts clearly indicate that free thinkers should avoid them like the plague – well, if the plague was real and needed avoiding, obviously.
Cyst explained on his favourite online forum, posting, “Did you know more people died in a car crash with a seatbelt ON, than those without – you don’t see THAT in the MSM, do you?
“Sure, the sheep among you will probably say that’s because pretty much everyone wears a seatbelt these days so obviously the number of drivers wearing a seatbelt in accidents is going to be way in excess of those not wearing one – but that’s just using numbers and facts to make a point, which everyone knows is how George Soros and Bill Gates want you to think.
“If you want to wear a chest nappy like a big baby, then you go right ahead – the Magna Carta says I don’t have to, so I won’t.
“Anyway, if seat belts are so good, then why are people still dying in car crashes, huh? Answer me that!
“Everyone knows that preventative safety measures are measured only in binary terms, which means they either work absolutely, or not at all – and the fact people are still dying in car crashes means they’re not working at all.
“Ipso Factum – that’s Latin for ‘I am right about this’, so checkmate you big seatbelt idiots.”
TY@NT
TwoWhalesInAPool
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PART FIFTY THREE
Conspiracy addicts and nutjobs state the 'silent majority' supports them
The silent majority is entirely composed of a few noisy gobshites, it has been confirmed today.
People who are unable to find anyone to publicly agree with their opinions often loudly and repeatedly claim a ‘silent majority’ support them, but a report published today confirmed that this is actually bolIocks.
“This ‘silent majority’ is entirely composed of maybe four hundred people on the Internet with too much time on their hands and poor punctuation and grammar skills,” the report concludes.
“From lunatic conspiracy theorists to frothing racists and working-class internet Nazis, they all claim there’s some great silent movement backing up their fvckwittery which at any moment will sweep their minority view to power.
“Shlt, shlt, shlt,, shlt, shlt.”
Internet extremists reject the report, insisting that most people support them in their hearts.
Claiming that they detect a real change of mood in the country towards their particular line of berserk nonsense, the continually-posting whackjobs will rage, lie and speak out for the non-existent group they claim to represent.
Should they ever be presented with evidence their fringe opinions actually are shared by a vanishingly small minority, commenters say they plan to deal with this by claiming to be just better-informed and more intelligent than most people.
TY@NT
Conspiracy addicts and nutjobs state the 'silent majority' supports them
The silent majority is entirely composed of a few noisy gobshites, it has been confirmed today.
People who are unable to find anyone to publicly agree with their opinions often loudly and repeatedly claim a ‘silent majority’ support them, but a report published today confirmed that this is actually bolIocks.
“This ‘silent majority’ is entirely composed of maybe four hundred people on the Internet with too much time on their hands and poor punctuation and grammar skills,” the report concludes.
“From lunatic conspiracy theorists to frothing racists and working-class internet Nazis, they all claim there’s some great silent movement backing up their fvckwittery which at any moment will sweep their minority view to power.
“Shlt, shlt, shlt,, shlt, shlt.”
Internet extremists reject the report, insisting that most people support them in their hearts.
Claiming that they detect a real change of mood in the country towards their particular line of berserk nonsense, the continually-posting whackjobs will rage, lie and speak out for the non-existent group they claim to represent.
Should they ever be presented with evidence their fringe opinions actually are shared by a vanishingly small minority, commenters say they plan to deal with this by claiming to be just better-informed and more intelligent than most people.
TY@NT
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