UK countryside traditions

[SamBally]

it's like a broken record with those two.

Says an old bloke who has made 1,400 Covid-19 conspiracy posts on his really original ID, his newest, "PandemicOfFear" (took him two weeks to come up with that name), and made 4,000 + on his previous ID, "Bad_Influence".


Woooooooooooooosh!!

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

@SamBally

The orgy of pearl clutching reactionary drivel is a classic example of stupidity in action. In the thread, I can count on three fingers the number of people who understand what satire is - you and I are two of them.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Reluctant locals forced to participate in cheese rolling​

Unwilling Gloucestershire residents have been made to chase a wheel of cheese down a hill by Londoners wanting to see authentic rural life.

To the chagrin of the locals, they were forced to recreate their proud tradition of risking life and limb running down a near-vertical gradient in pursuit of cheese for the amusement of weekend visitors.

Kriz Toppfur of Stroud said: “We don’t actually do stuff like this any more. I’m a Tofu consultant.

“If I need cheese I just go to Tesco. Even a really big cheese doesn’t excite me to the point where I’d be willing to break an ankle.

“But they said we had to, and they’re rich, and if they sold up property values round here would collapse, so we all chased a cheese down a hill and my solicitor’s fractured two vertebrae.”

Futures trader Bray Kahwik said: “It’s so wonderful that they keep these traditions alive so we can turn up and feel vastly superior to them.

“Come on, I hear in the next county over they do bog-snorkelling.”

via ~ DailyMilkyMilky

 

[SamBally]

The orgy of pearl clutching reactionary drivel is a classic example of stupidity in action.

Lol. It's amusing (up to a point).

Pearlflake men desperately trying to be 'edgy', 'butch' and 'masculine' and inane airheads either repeatedly bitching about people they don't know or discussing topics in which they have no knowledge whatsoever and which leave the threads with absolutely nowhere to go.

"Thank you for posting pictures of your rock, that is a magnificent rock."

"Thanks, tomorrow I'll share a picture of my loft insulation."

"Oh, I can't wait."


In between constantly whining about other chatters because they have absolutely NO control over their environment in here and it drives them crazy. Spoiled brats, pampered princesses who like to parrrrrrrrrrrtay and assume the online world revolves around them because they have engineered (controlled) it so that everyone in their personal lives does just that.

I'll be back in a few days or so so have fun with them.

If a disheveled looking man, who doesn't understand how to brush his own hair, with sh** taste in fashion and with a crude Cornishish accent. Carrying the bloated corpse of a long-deceased rabbit. Randomly turns up at your front door.

Ring 999 immediately.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Lol. It's amusing (up to a point).

Pearlflake men desperately trying to be 'edgy', 'butch' and 'masculine' and inane airheads either repeatedly bitching about people they don't know or discussing topics in which they have no knowledge whatsoever and which leave the threads with absolutely nowhere to go.

"Thank you for posting pictures of your rock, that is a magnificent rock."

"Thanks, tomorrow I'll share a picture of my loft insulation."

"Oh, I can't wait."


In between constantly whining about other chatters because they have absolutely NO control over their environment in here and it drives them crazy. Spoiled brats, pampered princesses who like to parrrrrrrrrrrtay and assume the online world revolves around them because they have engineered (controlled) it so that everyone in their personal lives does just that.

I'll be back in a few days or so so have fun with them.

If a disheveled looking man, who doesn't understand how to brush his own hair, with sh** taste in fashion and with a crude Cornishish accent. Carrying the bloated corpse of a long-deceased rabbit. Randomly turns up at your front door.

Ring 999 immediately.

Missing you already. Lets hope those three words wind-up the far, far, far, extreme ,extremist, right-wing David Ike supporters.

I'm on decomp mammal watch. Nose a twitching, rabbit styleeee.

Come back soon. I'm scared!

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Lol, I gave him the benefit of the doubt for defending his county and his way of life so passionately then out of curiosity I googled "Darkie Day".

Although the origin was harmless enough, it transformed from traditional Cornish folksongs into Minstrel songs imported from America that are something else altogether and inappropriate in the modern multicultural UK.

IMO of course.

On a cold and frosty morning my Uncle Neddy died,
And he died many years ago.
He had no woolly on the toppy of his head
In the place where the woolly ought to go.
Up with the shovel and a ee-aye-oh
And down with the shovel and the hoe.
There's no more work for the poor old man
He's gone where the good n****rrrs go, aye oh
He's gone where the good n****rrrs go.

Cornwall, a Leave-voting region, has seen its funding plummet from £100 million to just £3 million as a direct result of Brexit. Important to note, that it was already among the ten poorest regions in Northern Europe prior to the vote.

Isolation isn’t that splendid after all!

 

[breakwake_]

Say 2 coppers with a God-complex who were sacked from the force because of their views which they probably considered satire. Obviously now hating everything because they've had their silver spoons stolen. You two were once coppers right? Nah don't bother answering noone cares. Go away and leave the rest of us here to use you for our entertainment, if you're capable of doing anything else than typing hate. Try the circus. Leave this to the normal adults like the rest of us on this site. Have a break, take a nibble of a rusk and a sip of baby formula, have a little nap. Let us use you

For everyone else on this site, take the p*ss out them like they do, its only satire. Doubt the two of them have ever done any work harder than typing, other than beating miners and typing hate towards women and other races. And now they've had their silver spoons taken away from them. What are others opinions on these two strange yappy chihuahua's? Currently performing their strange mating ritual towards each yapping away. Give it a sec they'll start humping each others legs then they'll need a fortnights sleep afterwards cause humping legs is the hardest work they've ever done. Darwin would like them. Anyone else want to type anything about them, whats everyone elses view on these two? Don't worry they can't type to us, their God complex forbids it. Hey I'm not sure if I feel a God complex coming on too...

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Leaving London to live by the sea? ​

Here are top tips for annoying your new neighbours.​

Have you just sold your tiny London terrace to buy a mansion in an up-and-coming seaside town?

Are you finding the locals less than enthusiastic about the recent influx of former city dwellers?

Here are our top tips for winning over your new community and convincing them that not everyone from London is a massive wanker.

1. Remark on how wonderfully cheap the property is to your new next-door neighbours, who rent their crumbling damp-infested house for nearly 80% of their household income every month. (Bonus points if you wave to them from the Range Rover as they queue for the local food bank each morning.)

2. Sit in a local pub in your new 70% Leave-voting neighbourhood and talk loudly about how Brexit voters must be either thick or racist or both.

3. Enough room for two cars on your tiny oldy-worldy street where everyone struggles to park? Gain everyone’s full attention and admiration by putting your spare Mini Countryman right in the middle – and leaving it there for three weeks.

4. A dryrobe(R) in every colour is essential for your new seaside-inspired wardrobe. Pair with freshly blow-dried hair and a full face of make-up to wear everywhere you go.

6. Grab that megaphone and start an attention-grabbing campaign on everyone’s behalf. Who cares if the locals were quite looking forward to the library being turned into a KFC? You live there now, and you know what’s best for them.

7. Use up any spare cash left over from your house sale by buying up the beloved local greasy spoon and turning it into an artisan coffee/Scandi homeware shop. Be sure to charge at least £6 for a flat white and only open for an hour each day.

8. Still got a few hundred thou burning a hole in your pocket? Why not buy up some cheap and much needed local housing to start a new AirBnB empire, leaving those unsightly locals nowhere to live. Win-win!

via ~ DailyNIMBY

 

[breakwake_]

Is that the response whalething? You alright? Do we have to wait for your partner for all the good stuff? Theres no hatred in these responses, come on pull your finger out your a*s and post some satire. Some of your recent posts have really been lacking, at least get the facts straight or you'll no longer get attention. Chop chop, hurry up, we demand entertaiment or you'll disappoint us. Slacker.


Noone else want to speak about them? It'll be fun, they can handle what they dish out. Don't worry they won't type directly to you, their superiority issues won't allow it. Bit of a mystery aren't they?

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

 

[Altair]

Is that the response whalething? You alright? Do we have to wait for your partner for all the good stuff? Theres no hatred in these responses, come on pull your finger out your a*s and post some satire. Some of your recent posts have really been lacking, at least get the facts straight or you'll no longer get attention. Chop chop, hurry up, we demand entertaiment or you'll disappoint us. Slacker.


Noone else want to speak about them? It'll be fun, they can handle what they dish out. Don't worry they won't type directly to you, their superiority issues won't allow it. Bit of a mystery aren't they?

You're a good bloke Breakwake. I'm certain you and me have never drawn swords.

We have chatted about Steam Engines and History.. if only briefly.

Regarding the 'Terrible Twins'...If I were you.. I would totally Ignore them.

They aren't posting 'Satire'...They seem mentally deranged and get pleasure from insulting folk but from under the Cloak of 'It's only Satire'.

Don't get drawn in to such foolishness. Let them wriggle amongst themselves.

You are a way better person.

If everyone here ignores them... Eventually they will have no option but to move on.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

 

[Altair]

View attachment 9266

IGNORED...AND THE MORE FOLKS IGNORE THIS CRAP THE BETTER.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

 

[breakwake_]

What I find surprising is the site staff allowing such bigoted views to be aired on the site. It only contributes towards the site negatively. Granted everyones intitled to their views but these aren't views, they're articles which have been published in an attempt to offend.

Thanks for everyones support, I'll do as recommended.

 

[Altair]

What I find surprising is the site staff allowing such bigoted views to be aired on the site. It only contributes towards the site negatively. Granted everyones intitled to their views but these aren't views, they're articles which have been published in an attempt to offend.

Thanks for everyones support, I'll do as recommended.

Well I think that's about to change.

Why do you think the 'Other half ' has Disappeared mate ?.