Short Jokes - Punchy 1 liners ..............

Discussion in 'General' started by Poco_Loco, May 18, 2019.

  1. Poco_Loco

    Poco_Loco ✪ Moderator Staff Member

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    Why did the M&M go to school ?
    He wanted to be a Smartie ..... =D


    "Ok so i'm banned and have nothing better to do"

    ;)
     
  2. Altair

    Altair Web Master

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    Banned AGAIN...What for THIS time?

    You do realise that posting pics of YOU Dancing in your Lycra's is a bannable offence?..;)

    :D:D:D
     
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  3. Poco_Loco

    Poco_Loco ✪ Moderator Staff Member

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    Well lol ,

    I'm a stupid foreigner so to me "Gay" and "Queer" mean the same thing .....
    But not in the eyes of UK chat ......
    It's worth noting that not only do i not care i don't post threads bitching about it ;)

    I cycle in Lycra ,
    My bollox are far to big to dance in it , what a spectacle that would be !!!!

    Hooooooooooooooooooorahhhh My friend
    Have a cracking weekend :):):)
     
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  4. Altair

    Altair Web Master

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    AWW Mate.... Nah worries...:)

    I get ya...;)

    I once got banned for saying TITS...!!

    Hehehe..:D

    Hooooorrrrraaahhhhhhhhh.....Bang on..Matey....(Fcuk em...) :):):)...:D
     
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  5. Altair

    Altair Web Master

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    You would look good doing this...;) :D

     
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  6. JoJoTia3rd

    JoJoTia3rd Moderator Staff Member

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    What's green and sings........... Elvis Parsley
     
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  7. Poco_Loco

    Poco_Loco ✪ Moderator Staff Member

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    Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
    I gave him a glass of water.
     
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  8. Poco_Loco

    Poco_Loco ✪ Moderator Staff Member

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    A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

    ;)
     
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  9. JoJoTia3rd

    JoJoTia3rd Moderator Staff Member

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    I was in B&Q earlier n this fella in orange walked up to me asked if I wanted decking luckily I got the first punch in but others may not be so lucky
     
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  10. angey07123

    angey07123 UKChat Newbie

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  11. Poco_Loco

    Poco_Loco ✪ Moderator Staff Member

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    What are the three words women hate to hear during sex? "Honey, I'm home!"
     
  12. Tattooed4Me

    Tattooed4Me UKChat Initiate

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    fsake! someone take the joke book off him and throw it away :)
     
  13. BevLeanne

    BevLeanne UKChat Newbie

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    Mummy mummy the kids at school say I look like a monkey.......never mind son, go upstairs and comb your face before tea :)
     
  14. Bad_Influence

    Bad_Influence Chat God & Tinks Biatch

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    I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks.
     
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  15. BevLeanne

    BevLeanne UKChat Newbie

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    A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says.... a pint please and one for the road
     
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  16. BevLeanne

    BevLeanne UKChat Newbie

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    what do u call a fish with no eyes....fsh
     
  17. BevLeanne

    BevLeanne UKChat Newbie

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    last one....my friend bet me £100 I couldnt build a car out of spaghetti....you should of seen her face as i drove pasta
     
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  18. Poco_Loco

    Poco_Loco ✪ Moderator Staff Member

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    It's been so long since I had sex I wear flip flops to remind me what it sounds like """
     
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  19. TwoWhalesInAPool

    TwoWhalesInAPool UKChat Familiar

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    I'm looking forward to the moment the ban is lifted.
     
  20. Poco_Loco

    Poco_Loco ✪ Moderator Staff Member

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    Whenever I'm down, I always look forward to the light at the end of the tunnel.

    Stop Whimpering - It's Pathetic.
     
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