Post a Poem... (yeah really)

[HeuristicMonkey]

This site lacks voice, it oftens gets hijacked by trolls who like their own name on screen, so how about this...? post your shittiest poem, your best poem, the worst thing you've ever imagined read by another idiot who had electricity? Well here's your platform. No one can stop you, its your time, post your poem. No one cares that much anyway but just to get it out of your head is a thing right? I'll even start - hang on... brb, i'll go write one and post it to start it off okay? brb.. okay took a few minutes but here we go... this is how easy it is:

Walk a mile...

I ditched everyone I knew
Because they were holding...
Mm back
Like fences...
they held me in
And it's hard
to be this civilised
so dismissive
but they were breathing their own way
not my way
Entertaining as it seemed
but
They were wearing shoes
that didn't fit me
I tried
Feck I tried!
I got all messed up
in every direction but my own
Not their fault
Just ill-fitting shoes
I walk bare foot now
till i reach the shoe shop

okay, that took me a few minutes but you get the idea, say what the feck you want - you have a trillion breathes - make them count

HeuristicMonkey

 

[tonyp2911]

I wrote this poem after a counselling weekend where the facilitator asked me to take a risk when I was doing some work on myself.A comedy it wasnt



Little and Large



I had died inside and said nothing at all
and there was so little left that my little was my all
so I guard it well as its all ive got
as to lose my little would be to lose the lot.
Its so hard to risk when so little is there
and where silence seems safer even in despair.
So in the suffering of silence I muzzle my scream
to the desperation of what might have been.
But theres questions in the silence to which I don’t give a voice
and wheres theres no lack of conflict but only of noise.
Like how could I mirror what id never seen
to have become the person I was meant to have been.
And how could I take that risk of exposure
when all my life I had been conditioned to closure.
So please be gentle with my apparent dismay
as the reasons are large for the little I may say.

 

[AGirlHasNoName]

There was a young woman from Ealing,
Who had a peculiar feeling,
She lay on her back,
And opened her crack,
And pissed all over the ceiling.


I am not the young woman from Ealing.

 

[yeejit]

To cure me of a case of shingles
I've eaten fifteen bags of mingles
And finished my twelfth tube of pringles
My arm and palm and heart now tingle
I...

 

[HeuristicMonkey]

There was a young woman from Ealing,
Who had a peculiar feeling,
She lay on her back,
And opened her crack,
And pissed all over the ceiling.


im sure theres a limerick for teens post - explore more, not the subjective get a laugh idea - you're probably way deeper than this... am i wrong?

 

[HeuristicMonkey]

To cure me of a case of shingles
I've eaten fifteen bags of mingles
And finished my twelfth tube of pringles
My arm and palm and heart now tingle
I...

lazy now try rhyming purple

 

[yeejit]

lazy now try rhyming purple

That's the second verse that got interrupted...

I no longer can supply my gerbil
With food and water, or my turtle
All I can do is fall and gurgle
Since my complexion has turned purple
I...

 

[HeuristicMonkey]

That's the second verse that got interrupted...

I no longer can supply my gerbil
With food and water, or my turtle
All I can do is fall and gurgle
Since my complexion has turned purple
I...

tenuous - couldve used burple ffs

 

[Saphire]

Topical one...


Petals of snow kiss my lips, sharp winds begin to bite
yet beauty is all around this dark forsaken night.

Look closely, see the star, its constant presence felt,
and better men than me have bowed their heads and knelt.

So open up your eyes, the joy is there to see,
embrace the peace of Christmastime, the gift of love is free.

 

[HeuristicMonkey]

My favourite perfection

Chasing perfection is a lonely pursuit

Search for it within life and you’ll find chaos

Seek it in friendship and you’ll discover betrayal

Hunt for it without the dynamics of toil

And you will feel cheap and wasted

Grasp it tight and grip fondly its moments

For that is all they are

Treasure it within the time of this few unmeasured breaths

Hold it as close as you would a newborn child

Encase it in thought and take your next step forward

And then recall it in your eternal sleep

For that was its purpose​

 

[CrazyCatLady]

LOVE a bit of poetry- reading it, hearing it, attempting it, so thank you for this thread Monkey Person
My contribution is a little old, but one my favourites from my more creative and adventurous days

Hey girls- Watch out!
Mr BDSM is about!
With his professional photos and his cheeky banter
You’d never guess that he likes a spanker.

Hey girls- Watch out!
Mr BDSM is about!
And he’ll reel you in with his leather strap
Telling you that he’s not really experienced at this crap
Blaming an ex for his new obsession
Then asking you meekly to teach him a lesson

Hey girls- Watch out!
Mr BDSM is about!
Spicing up your morning with a naughty text
Making your mind pre-occupied with sex
Asking for permission to go through his day
He’s a submissive in every single way

Hey girls-Watch out!
Mr BDSM is about!
Telling you he likes it when you call him a freak
And giving him abuse every time you speak
He likes it majorly kinky with dirty thrown in
But you’d never know to simply look at him

Hey girls-Watch out!
Mr BDSM is about!
So confident with his bullshit and blagger
You’d never guess that he was a serial shagger
Picking up chicks from a dating website
Genuinely being tied up every night

Hey girls- Watch out!
Mr BDSM is about!
For experience- he’s the tops! You’ll learn things you never knew
But forgive his narcissism- it’s not personal against you
He’s Mr BDSM and he’s a hot, blooded male
Nothing could match his obsession or previous female
So now you’ve been warned- stay alert and stay sane
Because Mr BDSM is a Master at his game.

 

[HeuristicMonkey]

LOVE a bit of poetry- reading it, hearing it, attempting it, so thank you for this thread Monkey Person
My contribution is a little old, but one my favourites from my more creative and adventurous days

Hey girls- Watch out!
Mr BDSM is about!
With his professional photos and his cheeky banter
You’d never guess that he likes a spanker.

Hey girls- Watch out!
Mr BDSM is about!
And he’ll reel you in with his leather strap
Telling you that he’s not really experienced at this crap
Blaming an ex for his new obsession
Then asking you meekly to teach him a lesson

Hey girls- Watch out!
Mr BDSM is about!
Spicing up your morning with a naughty text
Making your mind pre-occupied with sex
Asking for permission to go through his day
He’s a submissive in every single way

Hey girls-Watch out!
Mr BDSM is about!
Telling you he likes it when you call him a freak
And giving him abuse every time you speak
He likes it majorly kinky with dirty thrown in
But you’d never know to simply look at him

Hey girls-Watch out!
Mr BDSM is about!
So confident with his bullshit and blagger
You’d never guess that he was a serial shagger
Picking up chicks from a dating website
Genuinely being tied up every night

Hey girls- Watch out!
Mr BDSM is about!
For experience- he’s the tops! You’ll learn things you never knew
But forgive his narcissism- it’s not personal against you
He’s Mr BDSM and he’s a hot, blooded male
Nothing could match his obsession or previous female
So now you’ve been warned- stay alert and stay sane
Because Mr BDSM is a Master at his game.

i actually laughed out loud and also felt the pain behind it, it was an emotional puzzler. Nice job (still have no fecking clue what BDSM is though)

 

[CrazyCatLady]

i actually laughed out loud and also felt the pain behind it, it was an emotional puzzler. Nice job (still have no fecking clue what BDSM is though)

Thank you BDSM= Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism. It's a sexual pleasure out of either being dominated or dominating the partner/s and for many, can be a lifestyle not just a sexual preference.

 

[Saphire]

Hey...the lovely CatLady is back. x
I think your poem was a lot more amusing and interesting than wading through the first 50 shades novel...so thank you for that. x

 

[CrazyCatLady]

Hey...the lovely CatLady is back. x
I think your poem was a lot more amusing and interesting than wading through the first 50 shades novel...so thank you for that. x

Lmao. Thank you
Love a cheeky poem. Can't wait to see if anyone can wheedle in any swear words to their Ode's....I have a full memory stick with a few...Lol

 

[CrazyCatLady]

Here- have another and I'll leave it at that before anyone accuses me of taking over a thread ( )

I wake up to a piss-take
First thing this morning
Road works outside my window
And I didn’t get a warning
With only 3 hours sleep
I’m well up for a fight
To add colour to my day
The weather’s looking shite
Can feel the anger rising
And I’m just out of bed
Want to **** the day off
And get out of my head

Life is lessons
Without the end exam
Life is learning
So put your anger down
Can’t change what is
Don’t want to change what you’ve got
No use getting annoyed over forget-me-nots.

Feeling a little bit edgy
With the crowds in town
Not feeling all that sociable
Just want to get around
People pushing and shoving
I’m annoyed at the lack of polite
‘Excuse me’ goes a long way
If they’re not looking for a fight
I resist the urge to shove back
Yet it happens again and I bite

Life is lessons
Without the book to read
Life is learning
But only if you concede
Can’t change what is
Don’t want to change what you’ve got
No use getting annoyed over forget-me-nots.

Escape the day, escape the day
That’s all that’s needed to breathe away
The negativity, emotion and fire
**** the world- chill out and retire
Close the curtains-
Put the phones on mute
Peel off the day clothes
Chuck on a lounge suit
Leave the day, leave the day
Let the stress just fall away
T.V, chocolate and smoke at the ready
Anger is gone- emotions feel steady

Life is lessons
Life is what you’ve got
Life gets messy
And anger rises hot
Can’t change what is
Don’t want to change what you’ve got
No use getting annoyed over forget-me-nots.

 

[Saphire]

You have a talent....I used to write loads of poetry when I was younger, not so much now.
I wrote this when I was about 12 and had a huge crush on an older boy at school, I can still remember it though.
Unrequited love is no joke.

To fall in love is wonderful, or so I've heard them say,
but I have found when loves around, it always finds a way,
to bring me hurt and misery, and pain I can't forget,
but people laugh and say "you haven't found the right one yet"

Yet...every time I fall in love, I think that he is right,
I live for him and not for me, and dream of him at night.
Why should I love so deeply whilst he just plays the game,
will I ever find my one true love, are all they all the same?

 

[CrazyCatLady]

You have a talent....I used to write loads of poetry when I was younger, not so much now.
I wrote this when I was about 12 and had a huge crush on an older boy at school, I can still remember it though.
Unrequited love is no joke.

To fall in love is wonderful, or so I've heard them say,
but I have found when loves around, it always finds a way,
to bring me hurt and misery, and pain I can't forget,
but people laugh and say "you haven't found the right one yet"

Yet...every time I fall in love, I think that he is right,
I live for him and not for me, and dream of him at night.
Why should I love so deeply whilst he just plays the game,
will I ever find my one true love, are all they all the same?

Aww, this was so sad, yet pretty at the same time! I could feel every pang of your teenage heartbreak in it, yet also the hope.

 

[Saphire]

Aww, this was so sad, yet pretty at the same time! I could feel every pang of your teenage heartbreak in it, yet also the hope.

Thank you. x
I can still remember his name, he only spoke to me once, I remember every word, but the final humiliation was, he asked my friend out...she was 13, and a lot more mature than I was, I was heartbroken.

I saw him a few years later and didn't even recognise him, so obviously it wasn't meant to be.

 

[CrazyCatLady]

Thank you. x
I can still remember his name, he only spoke to me once, I remember every word, but the final humiliation was, he asked my friend out...she was 13, and a lot more mature than I was, I was heartbroken.

I saw him a few years later and didn't even recognise him, so obviously it wasn't meant to be.

What a little sh**!
Have faith- he's had his heart broken since
I have a slew of heartbreak poetry....none any younger than about a decade though! Lol Much prefer writing the angry stuff; the rap inspired type poetry, with lots of F's a C's. It's very cathartic. Lol