Dad Jokes needed!

[MexicanFairy]

Share funny dad jokes, or suitable for kids... please. - Tnx

 

[Billyliar]

Invisible man goes to the doctor.
Sorry said the receptionist, he cant see you today...

 

[Poco_Loco]

Dad...... What's a Transvestite?

Ask Mom, he knows.

 

[funandflirty]

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

 

[Manorgasmian]

What's white and falls off cliffs?
Dead seagulls.

What's white and also falls off cliffs?
Depressed fridges.

 

[DoncasterGal]

what do you call a man in a pile of dry leaves? ... Russell
what do you call a man with a seagull on his head? ... Cliff
what do you call an irish man between 2 panes of glass? ... Paddy O'doors lol my fav that one xx

 

[WickedPerdition]

I decided to sell my old vacuum cleaner on eBay .... well, it was only collecting dust.

(With special thanks to Tim Vine)

 

[MexicanFairy]

I decided to sell my old vacuum cleaner on eBay .... well, it was only collecting dust.

(With special thanks to Tim Vine)

My students will love this one!! Thank you!

 

[BlackMagicBabeXx]

"Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, I don't think they'll fit me."

 

[WickedPerdition]

My students will love this one!! Thank you!

Thanks for your approval. Here's a couple more from the ever-resourceful Tim Vine that I think you might like.
“I saw this advert in a shop window that said: ‘Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.’ I thought, I can’t turn that down.”
“I’ve just been on a 'once-in-a-lifetime holiday'. I’ll tell you what, never again.”

 

[MexicanFairy]

What do you call a small mother…???

….

No?

… anybody…?!?!

…

… a minimum…! (Ba dum tsss)
eh! Mini.. small… mum… mother

ok… bed time for me.

 

[WickedPerdition]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

1. Because he was a devout Catholic.
OR 2. Why don't you ask the chicken? I'm not a chicken psychotherapist.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth?

A: A brick.

 

[MexicanFairy]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

1. Because he was a devout Catholic.
OR 2. Why don't you ask the chicken? I'm not a chicken psychotherapist.

LoooL

 

[MexicanFairy]

Why should you never fight a dinosaur…?!

anybody…?!

…

Because you’ll get Jurasskicked!
(ba dum tssss)



ok… lunch break time for me.