Croydon meet

[Not_Fred_Honest]

I'm arranging a meet at Valley Retail Park, Purley Way, Croydon CR0 4UZ on Wed 16 Apr round 2pm.

Everyone not called KEV is welcome

I've picked this site cos its next to Ikea and got a cheap cafe

And if anyone feels the need for a bit of excise, they can help me load up a van with new Ikea garden furniture

 

[Kev45]

Hey there guyz,

I met DOA at his last meet at Shoreham Golf Club in West Sussex just over 10 years ago.

There were three of us, all male, and it was a blast, and of course I won over the 18 rounds with a not too shabby 38 (slightly above par).

DOA came a distant third with a score of 197, but I think he enjoyed himself, and here he is teeing off at the 15th.

We got pissed in the clubhouse afterwards but were asked to leave early because DOA kicked off with a Tiger Woods cardboard cutout parked outside the blokes toilet.

 

[Not_Fred_Honest]

Shoreham Golf Club is in KENT Kev

Like I'd cross the border

But Kev fits in well there, its not far from the first place he called home in the UK

Manston arrivals and processing centre​

 

[Kev45]

Hey guyz,

Someone ask DOA why he paid £150 quid to pick up his Ikea tat from Croydon (van hire and fuel).

The inconvenience of 2–3 hours travelling there and back (depending on traffic) and when Ikea deliver directly to your house and the room of your choice for £35-45.

I don't think he knows Ikea has an online website.

Not the sharpest tool in the box is he.

 

[Not_Fred_Honest]

Errrr hmmmm.... yes and no Kev

Some smaller items they wont deliver.

KORKEN bottle shaped jar with lid, clear glass, 0.4 l - IKEA

KORKEN bottle shaped jar with lid, clear glass, 0.4 l KORKEN series is ideal for preserving pickles and jams, serving beverages or keeping your cookies crunchy. The airtight seal locks in all the goodness. The aroma-tight seal helps food retain its flavour and aroma longer.

www.ikea.com

Stuff like this for £3

And until Ikea Brighton opens later this year, I'm forced to drive up in this

 

[Kev45]

Hey guyz,

Someone ask DOA why he hired a van to pick up a glass spice jar?

Please explain to him Googled images are not hire vans.

When god handed out brains, he wasn't even in the queue.

 

[Not_Fred_Honest]

I'd love to say I go on my own and for one jar

The truth is, friends and family come up with a shopping list. They put the order on collection, hand me the paper work and I pick it up.

Last year I was FORCED to take 2 wimin with me....... it took them 5 hours decide on what they wanted

But I did have 2 meals in the cafe

 

[Kev45]

I think DOA is a bit upset because I revealed he racially abused a cardboard cutout of Tiger Woods parked outside the blokes toilet at Shoreham Golf Club in West Sussex.

Hey guyz sorry about the delay, I had to go to Aldi for some spice jars and stock up on their fake Jaffa Cakes, mmm non nom!

Guyz, can you ask DOA why his imaginary family imaginarily made up an imaginary list, that DOA had to go and imaginarily "collect", when there are numerous Ikea pick-up points in his local area and slightly further afield in Brighton etc.

I think every time DOA tells a porkie from now on, he should imaginarily feel this at the side of his MELON sized noggin.

 

[Not_Fred_Honest]

Kev I know the only woman who talks to you is your Mum and even she had enough of you
But the rest of us talk to more and they love to shop

I think you mean Horton Golf Club on old Shoreham cement works site.
Up north any golf club is seen as "posh" but round here this one is views by many as 4th rate, not that I play. All that walking around isn't good for you. I've heard of few people dying on golf courses so best to avoid them.

Ikea pick-up points

Customers can collect Ikea orders from these designated pick-up points for free if exceeding £100, or for a charge of £5 if under.

I'm not sure how they work but hanging out in supermarket car park waiting for a man and a van is something I only do after they close

 

[Kev45]

I have no idea why you have invented an imaginary boastie life in your early 60s, DOA, and I don't care why.

So we have established if your imaginary family imaginarily ordered less than £100 + or - worth of products from Ikea, it was free if over £100 and £5 if under, but yet you spent £150 imaginarily going to pick it up.

You didn't even know Ikea had a website until I told you.

Can you at least try and make sure your tall tales add up?

Btw, don't get all bitter and twisted over a game of golf at Shoreham Golf Club in West Sussex over 10 years ago. I mean, even though you got slaughtered, destroyed as your old mate Chrome used to say, and you took your anger out on a cardboard cutout afterwards, it was only a game.

 

[Not_Fred_Honest]

Kev you haven't been outside since 1998 but you still have a lovey all over tan

Summer beach life here is a social thing. People start coming out of hibernation at Easter power washing the garden furniture and decking. The last place anyone wants to go is a "golf course".

All that pollen? No thanks !!

 

[Kev45]

Kev you haven't been outside since 1998 but you still have a lovey all over tan

Summer beach life here is a social thing. People start coming out of hibernation at Easter power washing the garden furniture and decking. The last place anyone wants to go is a "golf course".

All that pollen? No thanks !!

Yeah, of course, I haven't been out DOA, not for years and years.

But of course you imaginarily have, right? Not logging in to boast about some cheap tat you bought on Amazon is going out, and is "living the dream" (lol).

Predicably straight into default mode, and the only mode you have.

If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hairpiece off.

Telling the rest of us what we do when the weather gets better and mumbling about a "beach life" you clearly don't experience and a culture you clearly don't understand anyway.

No outspoken braggarts like you in that community, I can assure you of that one, they simply wouldn't be tolerated.

Do you wander up and down Shoreham Beach wearing some garish cheap shite you bought online, on your lonesome, and desperate for a random to chat to because "summer beach life is a social thing"?

Until the security officers turn up mumbling angrily "the slippery auld bastard escaped again".

 

[Not_Fred_Honest]

Kev I don't live in your world. No one here nicks post office bikes and tries to sell them at cash converters. When are you in court for that? It must be coming up soon

You don't buy good clothes for the beach. salt kills them in a season. The only thing that seems to last are croccs.

Now if you don't mind, its a warm evening and I'd like to enjoy it

 

[Kev45]

You don't buy good clothes for the beach. salt kills them in a season. The only thing that seems to last are croccs.

DOA is one of those knuckleheads who buys imported cheap tat on Amazon with the ludicrous (ignorant) excuse "good" doesn't last a season in seawater.

Because the cheap tat he says he buys doesn't last very long, and therefore "good" doesn't last long either, right?

Claims to be part of a "beach community" (big on saving the planet) and yet also claims to buy cheap imported shite each year and throws it in landfill after a few uses.

Although the "good" gear, properly looked after and maintained, is good to go for years. I mean, we all know we have to pay extra for gear that is purposefully made for the job at hand, but of course DOA doesn't understand that and can't afford to find out.

 

[Not_Fred_Honest]

If leave the house and can afford to live by the sea, you can prove me wrong

Today I had to bin a Astral green jacket PFD



It failed a float test and its only 5 years old. Its well below 50N and proves nothing lasts forever.

Now if you don't mind I'm off to move and graffiti all the signs for the Brighton marathon

 

[Kev45]

For melon head.

Question AI Chatbot.

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3. Protection Against Environmental Factors: Quality clothing often includes UV protection, resistance to saltwater and chlorine, and other features that help them withstand harsh conditions.
4. Care and Maintenance: Proper washing (using mild detergents and avoiding harsh chemicals), drying, and storing can significantly enhance the lifespan of kayaks and body surfing attire.
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By investing in quality gear and taking good care of it, you can expect it to last for many years.

 

[Not_Fred_Honest]

I'm back from a walk along the sea front and had me bag of chips

Errrr Kev your wrong on so many levels

Water in rivers and the sea isn't clean, its full of eggs, seeds and kinds of "other stuff "
Think of it like a really fine talcum powder wave hitting you if you ever leave the house and make it to the beach.
This is abrasive gets every where and its hard to get it out of even man made fibers.

If you look at any ships hull you can see the effect after a few months.




I put that Astral pfd in a barrel of water with a 5kg weight tied to it today. ( Its the testing process). It sank well below the water level and had to be thrown a way. The replacement cost is around £250

Astral Green Jacket

Astral Green Jacket The Astral Green Jacket is one of the most popular PFDs for white water kayakers and raft guides, and anyone looking for a safe, comfortable and innovative PFD with easy access to storage space. Featuring a freestyle tectonic front panel, added back protection, an internal...

www.escape-watersports.co.uk

I wont buy that one again, I've put a Mustang Survival Khimera PFD on order from Canada

Its not a cost issue, its a "sand blasting" issue even in a river. All those creature floating around in water want home and something to eat. The grit/fine sand in the water makes a hole and they move in

The only thing that can really kill them is the acid in our stomachs. Its why you cant take antacid tablets at sea

 

[Kev45]

Have another drink and bullshit some more, melon head.

 

[Not_Fred_Honest]

Awww Kev

They say snow is coming soon but I'm still gearing up for the summer
My lazy summer days wont be filled up by waiting for delivery drivers

 

[Kev45]

The cringe pissed passive aggression.

The sausage who boasted about buying 150 cheap fake chocolate bars yesterday "cos dey is only 99 cals".

Before he shovelled 1,000 calories of chips down his chubby jowls today (lol).