Croydon meet

[Not_Fred_Honest]

I'm arranging a meet at Valley Retail Park, Purley Way, Croydon CR0 4UZ on Wed 16 Apr round 2pm.

Everyone not called KEV is welcome

I've picked this site cos its next to Ikea and got a cheap cafe

And if anyone feels the need for a bit of excise, they can help me load up a van with new Ikea garden furniture

 

[Kev45]

Hey there guyz,

I met DOA at his last meet at Shoreham Golf Club in West Sussex just over 10 years ago.

There were three of us, all male, and it was a blast, and of course I won over the 18 rounds with a not too shabby 38 (slightly above par).

DOA came a distant third with a score of 197, but I think he enjoyed himself, and here he is teeing off at the 15th.

We got pissed in the clubhouse afterwards but were asked to leave early because DOA kicked off with a Tiger Woods cardboard cutout parked outside the blokes toilet.

 

[Not_Fred_Honest]

Shoreham Golf Club is in KENT Kev

Like I'd cross the border

But Kev fits in well there, its not far from the first place he called home in the UK

Manston arrivals and processing centre​

 

[Kev45]

Hey guyz,

Someone ask DOA why he paid £150 quid to pick up his Ikea tat from Croydon (van hire and fuel).

The inconvenience of 2–3 hours travelling there and back (depending on traffic) and when Ikea deliver directly to your house and the room of your choice for £35-45.

I don't think he knows Ikea has an online website.

Not the sharpest tool in the box is he.

 

[Not_Fred_Honest]

Errrr hmmmm.... yes and no Kev

Some smaller items they wont deliver.

KORKEN bottle shaped jar with lid, clear glass, 0.4 l - IKEA

KORKEN bottle shaped jar with lid, clear glass, 0.4 l KORKEN series is ideal for preserving pickles and jams, serving beverages or keeping your cookies crunchy. The airtight seal locks in all the goodness. The aroma-tight seal helps food retain its flavour and aroma longer.

www.ikea.com

Stuff like this for £3

And until Ikea Brighton opens later this year, I'm forced to drive up in this

 

[Kev45]

Hey guyz,

Someone ask DOA why he hired a van to pick up a glass spice jar?

Please explain to him Googled images are not hire vans.

When god handed out brains, he wasn't even in the queue.

 

[Not_Fred_Honest]

I'd love to say I go on my own and for one jar

The truth is, friends and family come up with a shopping list. They put the order on collection, hand me the paper work and I pick it up.

Last year I was FORCED to take 2 wimin with me....... it took them 5 hours decide on what they wanted

But I did have 2 meals in the cafe

 

[Kev45]

I think DOA is a bit upset because I revealed he racially abused a cardboard cutout of Tiger Woods parked outside the blokes toilet at Shoreham Golf Club in West Sussex.

Hey guyz sorry about the delay, I had to go to Aldi for some spice jars and stock up on their fake Jaffa Cakes, mmm non nom!

Guyz, can you ask DOA why his imaginary family imaginarily made up an imaginary list, that DOA had to go and imaginarily "collect", when there are numerous Ikea pick-up points in his local area and slightly further afield in Brighton etc.

I think every time DOA tells a porkie from now on, he should imaginarily feel this at the side of his MELON sized noggin.

 

[Not_Fred_Honest]

Kev I know the only woman who talks to you is your Mum and even she had enough of you
But the rest of us talk to more and they love to shop

I think you mean Horton Golf Club on old Shoreham cement works site.
Up north any golf club is seen as "posh" but round here this one is views by many as 4th rate, not that I play. All that walking around isn't good for you. I've heard of few people dying on golf courses so best to avoid them.

Ikea pick-up points

Customers can collect Ikea orders from these designated pick-up points for free if exceeding £100, or for a charge of £5 if under.

I'm not sure how they work but hanging out in supermarket car park waiting for a man and a van is something I only do after they close

 

[Kev45]

I have no idea why you have invented an imaginary boastie life in your early 60s, DOA, and I don't care why.

So we have established if your imaginary family imaginarily ordered less than £100 + or - worth of products from Ikea, it was free if over £100 and £5 if under, but yet you spent £150 imaginarily going to pick it up.

You didn't even know Ikea had a website until I told you.

Can you at least try and make sure your tall tales add up?

Btw, don't get all bitter and twisted over a game of golf at Shoreham Golf Club in West Sussex over 10 years ago. I mean, even though you got slaughtered, destroyed as your old mate Chrome used to say, and you took your anger out on a cardboard cutout afterwards, it was only a game.