Polyamory

[hell2bwith76]

Rare

That too

 

[WolfeSwitche]

That too

So are you actually going to offer your veiws or just snipe?

 

[Moriarty]

Depends if it is legal marraige.
If one man can have many wives for example.

Tends not to work out to well in the long term as you end up with a lot of angry young men who arent getting laid.
Tends to lead to riots, then revolts, then changes in governments/ religions/ law.

Plus, the original supporters of monogamy were the first brides in a list of progressivly younger brides for powerful men.
They wanted to keep thier status.
Look back at the history, it was actually women who pushed for monogamy.

 

[ChasingRubies]

I always admire poly people, I'm always a bit jealous too because I would love to be able to have the mindset and feelings to be okay with it, as I know a lot of men need it, and some women too, needless to say I have a jealous disposition and I'm very terrotorial so it just wouldn't work for me, it'd drive me into a pit of jealousy lol.

 

[LadyOnArooftop]

I'm pleased and happy for the OP who found someone special, and has the same outlook on love. Yes, each to their own, because whatever kind of love you have, it can only be good. It can't be easy finding a partner who is also wanting a polyamorous, open relationship. It's not the kind of thing i'd be interested in, i'm far too self-centred to even consider it. I couldn't have a partner going with other people, i'm not the sharing type. And yet, I've had a couple of affairs (my partner never found out, so it never happened ) A very selfish and immoral attitude you may very well be thinking, and you're probably right... But are any of us perfect?

 

[hell2bwith76]

So are you actually going to offer your veiws or just snipe?

Each to their own in my opinion but ...having read posts by you on two different threads i note that you say your partner is very disabled .From your description he may have quite limited sexual output ? tell me if i`m wrong .
I can see the possibilities there where you could stay loving your partner and just go out for sex when you needed it ?. It may sound crude but boil it down to basics eh and that makes sense to me .
I was chatting to a female in PM a few years back ( no more than 4 though ) and she explained all about the "Open Marriage " way of life which she and hubby lived .My memory may have crossed but i think that she said her partner ( normal marriage) had just one other woman who he had sex with but she ( my chatmate)had sex with whoever she wanted when she wanted . Something like that anyway.
There was also something said about making arrangements for the wife to be out if hubby brought his extra home for a night and vice versa.

 

[WolfeSwitche]

Each to their own in my opinion but ...having read posts by you on two different threads i note that you say your partner is very disabled .From your description he may have quite limited sexual output ? tell me if i`m wrong .
I can see the possibilities there where you could stay loving your partner and just go out for sex when you needed it ?. It may sound crude but boil it down to basics eh and that makes sense to me .
I was chatting to a female in PM a few years back ( no more than 4 though ) and she explained all about the "Open Marriage " way of life which she and hubby lived .My memory may have crossed but i think that she said her partner ( normal marriage) had just one other woman who he had sex with but she ( my chatmate)had sex with whoever she wanted when she wanted . Something like that anyway.
There was also something said about making arrangements for the wife to be out if hubby brought his extra home for a night and vice versa.

My partner also has ED due to his heart medication but we enjoy a very robust sex life, it's not all about penetrative sex for some of us.
Polyamory isn't about sex, sex, sex. It's having more than one intimate relationship.

 

[hell2bwith76]

Polyamory isn't about sex, sex, sex. It's having more than one intimate relationship.

Sorry if i`m primitive but to me an "intimate relationship " does mean a "sexual " relationship. Forgive me if i`m mistaken .

 

[Saphire]

Sorry if i`m primitive but to me an "intimate relationship " does mean a "sexual " relationship. Forgive me if i`m mistaken .

Kissing can sometimes be more intimate than the actual sex act....if you do it well.

 

[WolfeSwitche]

Sorry if i`m primitive but to me an "intimate relationship " does mean a "sexual " relationship. Forgive me if i`m mistaken .

You're forgiven.

Seriously though.
At the moment I'm only in a serious relationship with my primary. We both share a relationship with someone, for play scenes. More of a FWB I suppose.
I do see that, for a lot of people, it's not for them but for me it has been liberating.

In all honesty, i don't want anyone than the man I'm with. He is my everything so i may well be looking for exclusivity in the near future.

I suppose i see it as doing something enjoyable with people I care deeply for.

 

[Saphire]

You're forgiven.

Seriously though.
At the moment I'm only in a serious relationship with my primary. We both share a relationship with someone, for play scenes. More of a FWB I suppose.
I do see that, for a lot of people, it's not for them but for me it has been liberating.

In all honesty, i don't want anyone than the man I'm with. He is my everything so i may well be looking for exclusivity in the near future.

I suppose i see it as doing something enjoyable with people I care deeply for.

What if your partner finds he is happy with the more open relationship you have, and doesn't want exclusivity?
Would that affect the relationship you have now with him?

 

[hell2bwith76]

I'm pleased and happy for the OP who found someone special, and has the same outlook on love. Yes, each to their own, because whatever kind of love you have, it can only be good. It can't be easy finding a partner who is also wanting a polyamorous, open relationship. It's not the kind of thing i'd be interested in, i'm far too self-centred to even consider it. I couldn't have a partner going with other people, i'm not the sharing type. And yet, I've had a couple of affairs (my partner never found out, so it never happened ) A very selfish and immoral attitude you may very well be thinking, and you're probably right... But are any of us perfect?

I think that under the right circumsances most married men and women have a "bit on the side" if they cared to admit it . We live in a society where we are all quite close to someone at work ,at play who we may be very attracted to ,even if we are "tied " .
I`m not saying any more elsei i get sliced by Feminists

 

[WolfeSwitche]

What if your partner finds he is happy with the more open relationship you have, and doesn't want exclusivity?
Would that affect the relationship you have now with him?

No.
We've actually had that discussion. We would both be happy with it.
If he were to retain his freedom then I'd respect it. It wouldn't change how we feel.
I think that's the hardest thing for some to understand, questioning the depth of love involved. I know I am loved, adored, worshipped and cherished by this wonderful man. He has enough room in his heart to love.

"More than Two" is a really good website that discusses various issues involved with polyamory.

 

[BronzeSquirrel]

How would you feel if your partner said, "I love you but I'm more in love with someone else now, they are better in bed than you." Or how would you feel if your partner gave you a sexually transmitted disease?

If having multiple partners makes you both happy, that's nobody else's business. It's not for me though. I get emotionally tied and bonded to the person I love, and sleeping around isn't on the menu. And I expect reciprocation. I don't get people who do threesomes and stuff like that either. Two in a bed is enough for me.

 

[WolfeSwitche]

How would you feel if your partner said, "I love you but I'm more in love with someone else now, they are better in bed than you." Or how would you feel if your partner gave you a sexually transmitted disease?

If having multiple partners makes you both happy, that's nobody else's business. It's not for me though. I get emotionally tied and bonded to the person I love, and sleeping around isn't on the menu. And I expect reciprocation. I don't get people who do threesomes and stuff like that either. Two in a bed is enough for me.

Being mono doesnt prevent the risk of your partner falling for someone else though.
I love him precisely because he loves other women (mainly platonically atm, tbf)
If you have more than one child, do you love one more than the other?

Love isn't like money, say. Something you run out of. Why would I fear him loving someone else?

Personally, I prefer one to one so threesomes are very rare. I guess it's having the freedom to be involved in more than one relationship whilst having the one to one.

As for sexual health, that is top of our list. Along with safety. We are tested regularly, use protection with other partners and only have sex once a relationship has been established.

 

[BronzeSquirrel]

Being mono doesnt prevent the risk of your partner falling for someone else though.
I love him precisely because he loves other women (mainly platonically atm, tbf)
If you have more than one child, do you love one more than the other?

Love isn't like money, say. Something you run out of. Why would I fear him loving someone else?

Personally, I prefer one to one so threesomes are very rare. I guess it's having the freedom to be involved in more than one relationship whilst having the one to one.

As for sexual health, that is top of our list. Along with safety. We are tested regularly, use protection with other partners and only have sex once a relationship has been established.

I guess you are both happier than most couples, as it works well for you. I think what most of us term as being 'faithful' sexually stems from a primordial human need for a partner who'll stick by you as this is what gave you the highest survival chances. Is there anything you find unacceptable in your relationship? Anything that would hurt you?

 

[WolfeSwitche]

I guess you are both happier than most couples, as it works well for you. I think what most of us term as being 'faithful' sexually stems from a primordial human need for a partner who'll stick by you as this is what gave you the highest survival chances. Is there anything you find unacceptable in your relationship? Anything that would hurt you?

I was married for nearly 25 years. We both cheated, something I deeply regret. Turns out neither of us settled in a mono relationship.
I've never been a jealous person regarding sex. I see sex as adults enjoying each others bodies freely.
I have to have an emotional or sapio connection with any sexual partner and just because we can have sex with other people it isn't an excuse to sleep around, at least not for us.

The only thing that would prompt me to walk away is lying. We practise absolute radical honesty, always.

 

[Moriarty]

How anyone can have sex outside of a stable relationship is beyond me.
Perhaps it's because I was cheated on in the past.

Maybe Im just old fashioned and dont like the idea of being the cockold man she comes back to after getting her leg over.

To me, you mate for life, tis why Im single.