Doom-scrolling addiction is real

[Kev45]

and ps: wtf is raymond? Is it a name like 'woke' or 'sheeple'? Or does it believe fvck knows what!?!

I have no absolutely idea, I do think that he truly believes that we are one and the same person, and which pretty mirrors his piss poor attempts to be an online scientist. The answer is right under his nose, staring at him right in the face, from an inch, away, and he still somehow manages to get it wrong.

stop hiding in the attic I know that you are in there!

I am standing two foot away and right behind you. ***shrug***

I am guessing that he believes that it is your actual IRL name and because you get under his skin so easily, he probably assumes that he can also get under yours.

It really is a rather pathetic spectacle, not specifically because he is doing it, but because he is just so incredibly sh*t at it.

LOL!

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

I have no absolutely idea, I do think that he truly believes that we are one and the same person, and which pretty mirrors his piss poor attempts to be an online scientist. The answer is right under his nose, staring at him right in the face, from an inch, away, and he still somehow manages to get it wrong.





I am guessing that he believes that it is your actual IRL name and because you get under his skin so easily, he probably assumes that he can also get under yours.

It really is a rather pathetic spectacle, not specifically because he is doing it, but because he is just so incredibly sh*t at it.

LOL!

*SMFH x 2*

It thinking it knows my name, and that we are the same person! I am chuckling away.

What a sad state of paranoia.

But, it's one of the end results of doom-scrolling and the action on the mental health of many.

 

[Kev45]

But, it's one of the end results of doom-scrolling and the action on the mental health of many.

Unfortunately it is, he reveals it each and every time he hastily blurts out his latest pandemic theory, which he thinks is a "real" theory, but which he is spoon-fed by the scam sites who make millions out of gullible mugs just like him.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

DOOM-SCROLLING AND THE DUNNING KRUGER EFFECT

Man who bunked off every science lesson at school insists he’s done ‘all his own research’ on vaccines​

A 57-year-old man who paid zero attention to his science teachers, or the books he was encouraged to read during his admittedly brief time in the formal education system, is today telling everyone he’s done all of his own research on vaccines.

Ray Cyst is currently doing his best to educate everyone on social media, after completing his one-week Masters in Vaccines, courtesy of YouTube and InfoWars.

He told us, “I had absolutely no interest in learning about science, or biology, or chemicals. Until this stuff was available to consume on YouTube and InfoWars in a highly persuasive format that confirms all of my existing biases.

“Books are boring, lessons were boring, teachers were boring – but InfoWars videos are exciting and they have screaming man who is angry at everything, just like I am, and YouTube videos are special, some are as good as the movies you can see on the telly. Of course I’m going to watch and believe them.

“Who even knew you could do proper medical research and become a vaccine expert by watching InfoWars and YouTube for about eight hours a day.

“Last week I watched fifty-two videos that all explained why vaccines are poison, Bill Gates is the devil, and how big pharma wants to kill my kids – and now I am busy sharing links to those same videos because it’s important everyone gets as educated as I am.”

“Sigh,” said actual scientist and former classmate of Ray, Graham Matthews.

“Yes, I remember Simon, if he wasn’t sneaking out of class to smoke, he was using a compass to scratch poorly articulated football slogans into his desk. Whereas I went on to study the sciences at A-Level and degree level, and now have a Masters in microbiology and spend my days working on the very problems he thinks he’s solved thanks to an 8-minute YouTube clip.

“I mean, let’s look on the bright side, he has decided he needs to know more than the clearly very little he knew – that’s a good thing.

“But unfortunately, it’s sometimes difficult to explain to those with a ‘simpler’ mind that the truth is often quite mundane, boring even, but that lies – well – they can be made to sound very exciting.

“One day he’ll realise he loves all these conspiracy videos for precisely the same reason he loved the Avengers movies – they tell a fantastic story with a bad guy we all love to hate – we can only hope that one day he’ll be able to tell the difference.”

TY@NT

The Dunning Kruger Effect - Why Do Stupid People Think They're Smart!​

 

[Brass]

Why are all Raymond’s still stuck in May?

View attachment 12043

And the funny thing is that authority-worship is so strong in some that now they're left holding on to the ridiculous hope that that would be the last time officials would lie to them. There's a word for that kind of faith . . .

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

DOOM-SCROLLING AND RACIST RANTING

A man who doom-scrolls for 18 hours a day is having his views ignored by online forum users just because he is paranoid and totally consumed by a burning hatred.

Ray Cyst, 61, who is online 24/7, posting his mental ravings onto various website forums, to the extent that he has no friends and his family has disowned him, has demanded to know why no one listens to his opinions on Covid, foreigners, electric cars and transgender issues.

Bishop said: “I get ignored by people because I’m an dishonest unemployable man who just happens to believe proud Anglo-Saxons are destined to dominate the other, weaker races.

“And that’s not racist to say that. It’s science. Racial science from Victorian scientists, who everyone knows were the best scientists.”

He added: “We had a woman come round from Labour and she said my views are ‘offensive’. You know what’s offensive? Wind turbines.

“And also the Asian family next door who’ve got a heroin farm in their loft, I hear them up there at night, trimming the heroin plants and laughing about me in their strange tongue.”

Bishop’s brother who wants to remain nameless said: “He has no good in him at all, our father was one of those big angry men with a bad leg. If Ray went offline and focused on basic hygiene instead of Covid conspiracies he might meet a woman and it would change him.”

''He growls a lot too.''

TY@TDM

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

DOOM-SCROLLING CURE

Doom-scrolling addictions cured by timelines becoming 100% Wordle

A man’s admitted his doom-scrolling addiction across the internet has been completely cured by having his forum and social media timelines full of smug gits showing off their prowess at a silly 5-letter word game.

Misanthrope and doom-scrolling addict , Ray Cyst, 58, said, “I was completely hooked on checking InfoWars, Reddit, Substack, YouTube, Facebook and Twitter; totally at the behest of their clever algorithms that had – let’s face it – figured me out better than my ex wife ever had.''

“I was on the phone checking after every single notification, sucked in and then doom-scrolling in an attempt to get to the end of level boss, who never appeared.''

“But, a couple of weeks ago, little green and yellow boxes started appearing all over my timelines. At first, I thought it was a problem with my eyes, then I rang my ISP to complain there was something wrong with my router.

“They informed me there wasn’t a problem – at least, not technically.

“I subsequently noticed the scores at the side: 1/6, 2/6,… the whole thing was a horrific flashback to my school maths tests.''

“But what I realised most was… I literally did not give a single solitary **** about your Wordle score. None of them. I don’t know what it is, nor do I wish to find out.''

“So, you know what, I turned it off. All of it. Deleted InfoWars, Reddit, Substack, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook and now I’m just, well…happy! I recommend it wholeheartedly to anyone!

“Not that anyone will care. They’re too busy playing fucking Wordle…”

TY@NT

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

DOOM-SCROLLING: PERCEPTION

Because of the far right conspiracy and doom scrolling activities Britain will become the world’s largest exporter of embarrassing nutters by 2025, new studies have revealed.

Independent studies have revealed that post-Brexit, the British economy will rely heavily on financial services, weapons exports and delusional doom scrolling nut jobs who see themselves as some kind of freedom fighter.

Lars Van Dervelt of the European Economic Forum told reporters, “Conspiracy crackpots are only found in certain political climates, so for most countries importing is much cheaper than cultivating their own.

“We have been thoroughly impressed by the performance of your home grown crackpots so far, displaying a grand tradition of privilege, uncalled for aggression and a complete lack of self-awareness.

What a shame for you that embarrassment isn’t a currency.

“British crackpots are the best in the world at what they do, well, perhaps second only to the Americans, and they are in high demand throughout Europe.

“Well actually, no, that’s not really the case, but you’re going to keep trying to send them our way anyway, aren’t you?”

TY@NT

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

DOOM-SCROLLING: PRICKS

After three years a Public Health Warning has been issued as Covid vaccines are being linked to fast-spreading outbreaks of Brexiter far-right schadenfreude.

Following the emergence of evidence that Britain has actually done something better than the EU in saving the lives of tens of millions of its citizens, a virulent new strain of self-righteousness is running rampant through pro-Leave areas.

Dr Helen Archer said: “There is a definite correlation between the vaccine injection, the fact that the UK had secured more vaccine stocks than Europe that saved millions of lives, being a gammon racist gloating uncontrollably.

“Sustained exposure to headlines like ‘EU we won,’ ‘Bet EU wish you were British now’ and No, EU can’t have our jabs!’ are potentially lethal. Elderly racist men are literally sniggering to death in their armchairs.”

Public health officials are considering exporting a limited number of 'special' life saving British Covid vaccines across the Channel to inoculate gammon racists against rising nationalism, but fear a deadly surge in rage-induced strokes and peptic ulcers.

Leave voter and intensive care patient Ray Cyst, 66, said: “Have you seen those twats in Brussels? Fighting over life saving vaccines like tramps over a bag of chips.

“This entirely proves that Brexit was right. Hundred per cent, forever.”

NT@TDM

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

DOOM-SCROLLING: TOTALLY QUACKERS

Geese have been heavily criticised after footage emerged of them walking like Nazis.

The waterfowl were seen in mobile phone footage which showed them marching ‘just like Hitler and his troops’, leading to widespread condemnation on social media.

Twitter user RaymondRaymondsson666 posted: “My grandad didn’t fly a Spitfire so that pond birds could take the piss.”

However, geese have denied any link to extreme right-wing politics and insist their walking style was based on tradition and the way their legs are attached to their bodies.

However silly goose Ray Cyst said: “Hitler copied this walk from us, just like he stole the swastika from East Asian religious iconography.

“However I do think they should send those grey geese back to Canada. It’s common sense, there just isn’t enough bread here.”

TY@TDM

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

DOOM-SCROLLING: IS AWASH WITH WATERY LIES

If you put thousands of migrant boats into the sea then of course the seal levels are going to rise, according to the Daily Mail.

According to an article published in the so-called newspaper, the influx of migrant boats has caused an increase in the displacement of water, resulting in a rise in sea levels which woke lefties continue to insist is caused by climate change.

The Mail went on to suggest that the Archimedes’ principle, which states that the upward buoyant force on an object is equal to the weight of the fluid displaced by the object, is to blame for the rising sea levels.

The editorial written by Ray Cyst, 65, went on, “If you put a hundred heavy toy boats in the bath with you, then you’ll notice the bath water clearly rises. The migrant crisis is having exactly the same effect. It’s basic science, and only the lefties will deny it.”

Critics have pointed out that the Daily Mail’s claims are not backed by scientific evidence and that climate change is the real cause of rising sea levels. However, the newspaper has dismissed these claims as “fake news” and “left-wing wokeist propaganda”.

Despite the backlash, the Daily Mail remains committed to its theory and has called on the government to take action to prevent the sea levels from rising any further by stopping all the boats, before the rising levels threaten the value of all those nice seafront properties owned by its readers.

TY@NT

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

DOOM-SCROLLING: ADDICTION AT ITS WORST

A barking mad man who is addicted to doom scrolling and spends many hours a day on conspiracy laden right-wing websites, is wondering how he coped before the internet.

Ray Cyst, 61, spends a ludicrous amount of time online doom scrolling, failing to goad 'woke lefties,’ all the while claiming he is not allowed to talk about immigration, the UK Flag and other such lying twaddle.

Unemployed conspiracy wastrel Cyst said: “I can’t remember what I did before the internet enabled me to doom scroll and drone on constantly about immigrants, fake viruses, nurses and doctors murdering old people and lefties who have sex with avocados.

“I did used to share my opinions in the pub, but the internet has the advantage of people not being able to punch you in the face or worse still smile tolerantly and say ’that’s interesting’ before calling 999 and having me carted away to a padded cell.

“These days I doom scroll and post my racist conspiracy opinions everywhere, from YouTube, to various online chatroom forums where I get very angry and aggressive in a way I would never dare to in real life.

“I’ve developed a ‘hard-bitten racist realist’ persona, as if I’m the saviour of the UK and not just an idiotic conspiracy moron who lies about everything I do including my age, abilities and 'knowledge'.

“Without the internet I wouldn't be able to doom scroll, and then I’d have to share my opinions by handing out leaflets on the street, and barking at traffic lights.

I think the police are a bit touchy about some of my views on race these days.”

TY@TDM