Would it help if we told you to stick your pathetic 2p National Insurance cut up your f**king arse? Public asks Hunt?

[Kev45]

BRITAIN has suggested to a wavering Jeremy Hunt that he could always save £9 billion by sticking his insulting tax cut up his own fundament.

The chancellor, who never wanted this job and is not good at it, is struggling to find £9 billion to fund a promised pre-election tax cut which will not change a single vote.

Tom Logan of Chester said: Here’s a thought, Jeremy: how about f**king off with your bullshit 2p off National Insurance and sodomising yourself with it, in a small room?

We know the deal by now. You hand out a sh** cut like you’re Santa Claus, and the next day every swimming pool in the country closes because of a mysterious lack of funds. And half the hospitals. And police go subscriber-only.

What is it this time, 2p off National Insurance and upping the pension age? 2p off and selling our motorways to a hedge fund? 2p off but also, somewhere you don’t think we’re looking, 5p on?

Or could you not bother with your pathetically transparent bribe, admit that 14 years of Tory rule in which you were intimately involved has f**ked the country, set a sensible budget and piss off early? How does that sound?

Hunt said: “Wow, Britain, just imagine. A whole 2p.”

 

[Chip_TheViking]

14 years of Tory rule

does the hue of the flag change the nature of the wind?

 

[Kev45]

Jeremy Hunt has playfully tousled your hair and warmly told you not to spend all your 2p savings at once.

Sitting the nation on his lap like a kindly grandfather handing out Werther’s Originals, the Chancellor has sagely advised you not to fritter away your National Insurance cut on sweet cigarettes or marbles.

Hunt said: It’s tempting to blow your new-found fortune on frivolities, but that two pence could go towards something more sensible, like a house deposit.

Maybe use your 2p to treat yourself to a slap-up meal out this evening to celebrate the budget, just don’t make it a habit. Set aside at least half of it for bills and emergencies. Interest rates are still pretty high, after all.

I know it’ll be hard to show restraint with two pence burning a hole in your pocket. You’ll likely want to hit the town or go on that round the world trip you’ve always been dreaming of. Personally, I’m resisting buying a couple of Ferraris.

We’re still in a recession, though, remember. It doesn’t feel like it thanks to the featherbed I’ve just handed you, but in reality even the basics are out of reach for most people. All thanks to Labour, of course.

A council tax rise higher than 2p? The bastards, this is what happens when I don't control the purse strings. Thank god, I gave you that 2p to soften the blow.

Anyway, get off with you, you scamps. Just don’t forget my immense generosity when the election rolls around.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Jeremy Hunt has playfully tousled your hair and warmly told you not to spend all your 2p savings at once.

Sitting the nation on his lap like a kindly grandfather handing out Werther’s Originals, the Chancellor has sagely advised you not to fritter away your National Insurance cut on sweet cigarettes or marbles.

Hunt said: It’s tempting to blow your new-found fortune on frivolities, but that two pence could go towards something more sensible, like a house deposit.

Maybe use your 2p to treat yourself to a slap-up meal out this evening to celebrate the budget, just don’t make it a habit. Set aside at least half of it for bills and emergencies. Interest rates are still pretty high, after all.

I know it’ll be hard to show restraint with two pence burning a hole in your pocket. You’ll likely want to hit the town or go on that round the world trip you’ve always been dreaming of. Personally, I’m resisting buying a couple of Ferraris.

We’re still in a recession, though, remember. It doesn’t feel like it thanks to the featherbed I’ve just handed you, but in reality even the basics are out of reach for most people. All thanks to Labour, of course.

A council tax rise higher than 2p? The bastards, this is what happens when I don't control the purse strings. Thank god, I gave you that 2p to soften the blow.

Anyway, get off with you, you scamps. Just don’t forget my immense generosity when the election rolls around.