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Nigel 'the Nazi' Farage exempted from Bushtucker challenge because eating a bumhole would be cannibalism


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Notorious clickbait merchant, grifter and practicing Nazi, Nigel Farage has been exempted from Bushtucker challenges during his ‘I’m a celebrity…’ appearance because indulging in cannibalism would be illegal, it has been revealed.

According to internal ITV documents seen by this paper, Nazi Farage was due to devour a freshly-basted bumhole before it emerged he would be arrested for necrophagy were he to do so.

Eating cockroaches and similar vermin were also ruled unacceptable for the same reason.

“It has put ITV in a real bind”, insiders told us.

“The entire point of the show is for people to watch C-List semi-famous people consuming disgusting things, but whatever they suggested Mein Nigel should eat was quickly ruled out by the legal department if we didn’t want the police round in a matter of minutes.

“We asked Fuhrer Nigel if was prepared to gobble a bumhole, but he said that’s his mistresses job and and we can’t exactly put that on at 7pm on a Saturday night either, regardless of what the ratings would be.”

TY@NT
 
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