The intelligence of crows

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Tests reveal crows more intelligent than Tory voters​

>>> vs <<<

New tests have revealed that crows could be much more intelligent than previously thought.

Simon Williams, Professor of Crows at Oxford University, explained the significance of the findings.

“These tests seem to show that, in intellectual terms, a crow is on a par with a 4-year-old child or a Tory voter.”

The tests were originally quite simple memory and maze-based problems that the crows could solve quite easily.

“It was around that time that we realised how smart they could be, so we set up some tests to specifically compare crows’ intelligence to that of Tory voters.”

The first test was a basic ability to learn behaviour.

“We told crows and Tory voters they were going to get a food pellet, and then didn’t give them one.

“After one day, the crows realised that we weren’t going to do what we told them and flew off.

“As far as I know, the Tory voters are still waiting for their food pellets.

“They simply had no capacity to tell when they are being lied to, which the crows figured out pretty quickly.”

The next test was a socialisation test.

“We dyed a crow a different colour, the other crows realised immediately that colour was irrelevant and welcomed the crow and shared their food pellets.

“The Tory voters… well, that really didn’t go well.”

Finally, realising how potentially exciting the results could prove, Professor Williams tried a basic economic test.

“We gave a load of food pellets to one crow, and the other crows got agitated and demanded food pellets of their own.”

The Tory voters behaved quite differently.

“This is a direct quote – ‘brilliant, they’ve given Geoff a load of food pellets, it can only be a matter of time before they trickle down to us’.”

Despite the excitement caused by the results, Professor Williams was left a little downhearted.

“I just can’t help thinking that the country would be in a far better position if crows could vote.”

TY@NT

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

 

[LadyOnArooftop]

There are 15 crows on a fence. The farmer fires his shotgun, killing a fifth of them. How may crows remain on the fence?

 

[NickUK]

There are 15 crows on a fence. The farmer fires his shotgun, killing a fifth of them. How may crows remain on the fence?

None they all flew off...

 

[Raining_Roses]

Crows can remember human faces. Don't piss off a crow- it will find you and attack when you least expect it!
This I know, after saving a poor injured pigeon from their nasty little beaks. Bastard got me the next day on the same route to work. Still looking over my shoulder, 4 years later.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

 

[Moriarty]

Had a crow that used to come to my window cause I fed it when I was a kid.
He would only take certain foods, would only let me pet him when he was fed with what he wanted.

Best thing about him was he attracted girls to my bedroom to see

 

[cidal]

Tests reveal crows more intelligent than Tory voters​

View attachment 14171 >>> vs <<< View attachment 14172

New tests have revealed that crows could be much more intelligent than previously thought.

Simon Williams, Professor of Crows at Oxford University, explained the significance of the findings.

“These tests seem to show that, in intellectual terms, a crow is on a par with a 4-year-old child or a Tory voter.”

The tests were originally quite simple memory and maze-based problems that the crows could solve quite easily.

“It was around that time that we realised how smart they could be, so we set up some tests to specifically compare crows’ intelligence to that of Tory voters.”

The first test was a basic ability to learn behaviour.

“We told crows and Tory voters they were going to get a food pellet, and then didn’t give them one.

“After one day, the crows realised that we weren’t going to do what we told them and flew off.

“As far as I know, the Tory voters are still waiting for their food pellets.

“They simply had no capacity to tell when they are being lied to, which the crows figured out pretty quickly.”

The next test was a socialisation test.

“We dyed a crow a different colour, the other crows realised immediately that colour was irrelevant and welcomed the crow and shared their food pellets.

“The Tory voters… well, that really didn’t go well.”

Finally, realising how potentially exciting the results could prove, Professor Williams tried a basic economic test.

“We gave a load of food pellets to one crow, and the other crows got agitated and demanded food pellets of their own.”

The Tory voters behaved quite differently.

“This is a direct quote – ‘brilliant, they’ve given Geoff a load of food pellets, it can only be a matter of time before they trickle down to us’.”

Despite the excitement caused by the results, Professor Williams was left a little downhearted.

“I just can’t help thinking that the country would be in a far better position if crows could vote.”

TY@NT

You had me at Tory voters. ****...even a grown Australian man has more sense, no?

Sure Tories might not be as insane right-wing as most countries, but they are massive enough cunts. Then again, so are most of you English.. why you vote them back in again and again. It's almost like...you're borderline yanks.

Yes, all I have is forums to communicate to my massive fan base. Hey shades wearing ***,. you cannot silence the voice of insanity. Also. not to whine and cry while I whine and cry.. but I only got a few hours kick ,, not a day or a life ban? I am better than a few hours!! Fucking mods!!

 

[cidal]

View attachment 14186

You had a kind mother.

 

[cidal]

Had a crow that used to come to my window cause I fed it when I was a kid.
He would only take certain foods, would only let me pet him when he was fed with what he wanted.

Best thing about him was he attracted girls to my bedroom to see

So what you're saying is.. that crow watching you masturbate alone.. and often? Poor crow. Is he ok?

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

How baby swans sleep.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Hundreds of yellow-headed blackbirds filmed falling out of the sky in the northern Mexican city of Cuauhtémoc