That sound.

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Coming today.

Chaos & Decline - S1. Ep1: Cameron.

Exclusive to Conflix.


Trailer
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[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Sadiq Khan’s London on verge of becoming entirely free of grifting arseholes

​

Newly re-elected London mayor Sadiq Khan could soon find his city entirely free of grifting arseholes, after the likes of Loozer Fux and Dim Lootton said they would be forced to leave London following his re-election on Saturday.

In the mistaken belief that the city has ‘fallen’, Fux and Lootton are among the many low-information agitators telling their followers that they plan to leave London’s capital.

“This is wonderful news,” explained Londoner Si Willis.

“What we have here is a case of a contrarian moron-herder who seemingly only exists to find new things to be offended by. Today it’s the democratic process.

“Yes, London has many problems, like any major city in any part of the world, but soon the risk of bumping into a grifting arsehole won’t be one of them.
“Loozer will no doubt pretend he’s leaving the city because Sadiq Khan won the election, but we all know it’s really because he’s having to sell everything to fund all of the legal cases he keeps on losing.

“Or maybe it’s because he only got 0.5% of the vote in his campaign for the London Assembly despite his huge profile and taking out front page newspaper ads in London itself?

“Either way, he says he’s going, and I think I speak for the other 99.5% of Londoners who didn’t vote for him when I say ‘yay!’.

“And if his followers want to follow him out, then great. Can you imagine being able to wander around our nation’s capital, safe in the knowledge that you definitely won’t bump into the sort of twat who thinks Loozer Fux is right about anything?”
TY@NT

 

[Confused_Fred]

London's population fell by 75,500 people between mid-2019 and mid-2021 - a decline of 0.7%, or the equivalent of the population of a town the size of Tunbridge Wells in Kent.

People vote with there feet ..... and you know far more have left since 2021.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Right wing idiot suffers dislocated shoulder after reaching to spin results of the May elections’​

A far-right moron has been taken to hospital with a severely dislocated shoulder after trying to spin the local election results as “not particularly bad” for the Tories.

“I think I just got a bit overconfident, to be honest,” explained Ray Cyst, who posts utter shite on chatroom forums about how good the Conservatives are, and how terrible London is, despite all observable evidence to the contrary.

“I’d been making a few claims that red wall results weren’t that good for Labour or London, which was a stretch, but not too bad. As someone who does a lot of spinning, I can handle that sort of stretch without too much of a problem.”

However, when Mr Cyst tried a more ambitious spin, it proved a little too much for his rotator cuff.

“It was when I tried to pull off a particularly difficult spin with some more s.hit and lies blaming Sadiq Khan for knife crimes, terrorists and people leaving London. That was just too ambitious and I felt something ‘go’ at the top of my arm.

“I guess it should be a lesson that there are some spins (lies) that are just too awkward to pull off without doing yourself a serious mischief. Especially at my elderly age.''

Mr Cyst refused to make any comments about the Westminster loss to Labour for fear he makes his situation worse.

TY@NT