SamBally
Dance with me until the sun rises!
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2021
- Messages
- 2,022
- Reaction score
- 1,930
GOT grand plans about how you will spend Friday? Forget them. This is what you’ll be doing instead.
Falling asleep in the afternoon
You and your partner have set this day aside to chat and spend some quality time together. But that frozen lasagna intended for a family of four which you’ll eat by yourselves has other ideas. Your body will be so awash with fat and complex Italian carbohydrates that you’re doomed to pass out on the sofa by 3pm.
Mindlessly posting on internet forums
Did you plan to have a relaxing day? Well, plans change. Instead, you’ll spend hours mindlessly posting on internet chatsites and aimlessly scrolling through various news feeds, and soaking up all the horrors humanity is currently enduring. Before you know it, it’s 3 pm and all you’ve done is type another troll thread and read an article about a soon-to-be-extinct Malaysian tree frog.
Arguing about what to watch
Did your friend recommend a new Netflix series? Or perhaps your partner’s colleague told them about a brilliant movie that’s just come out? Instead of agreeing to watch either piece of quality entertainment, you and your other half will spend the next four hours yelling at each other. This fight is about more than your viewing habits though, isn’t it?
Trawling through Facebook
Is this the day you finally pick up one of the books on your coffee table? No. As usual, you will waste another day trawling through Facebook, getting angry at your conspiracy theory-obsessed online sidekick, and seeing what your ex is up to. Sadly it looks like they’re still happy in their new marriage, probably because they don’t piss away their days on Facebook.
Gawping at YouTube
When all else fails, the YouTube algorithm is always there to help you while away your time. It’ll start you off easy with funny videos of cats getting surprised or people falling through hedges, but before long you’ll be radicalised by clips from The Joe Rogan Experience. That’s if you can bear to sit through all the f**king pre-roll ads.
Falling asleep in the afternoon
You and your partner have set this day aside to chat and spend some quality time together. But that frozen lasagna intended for a family of four which you’ll eat by yourselves has other ideas. Your body will be so awash with fat and complex Italian carbohydrates that you’re doomed to pass out on the sofa by 3pm.
Mindlessly posting on internet forums
Did you plan to have a relaxing day? Well, plans change. Instead, you’ll spend hours mindlessly posting on internet chatsites and aimlessly scrolling through various news feeds, and soaking up all the horrors humanity is currently enduring. Before you know it, it’s 3 pm and all you’ve done is type another troll thread and read an article about a soon-to-be-extinct Malaysian tree frog.
Arguing about what to watch
Did your friend recommend a new Netflix series? Or perhaps your partner’s colleague told them about a brilliant movie that’s just come out? Instead of agreeing to watch either piece of quality entertainment, you and your other half will spend the next four hours yelling at each other. This fight is about more than your viewing habits though, isn’t it?
Trawling through Facebook
Is this the day you finally pick up one of the books on your coffee table? No. As usual, you will waste another day trawling through Facebook, getting angry at your conspiracy theory-obsessed online sidekick, and seeing what your ex is up to. Sadly it looks like they’re still happy in their new marriage, probably because they don’t piss away their days on Facebook.
Gawping at YouTube
When all else fails, the YouTube algorithm is always there to help you while away your time. It’ll start you off easy with funny videos of cats getting surprised or people falling through hedges, but before long you’ll be radicalised by clips from The Joe Rogan Experience. That’s if you can bear to sit through all the f**king pre-roll ads.