SamBally
Dance with me until the sun rises!
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THE standards of heterosexual men when choosing a partner are much lower than previously feared, scientists have confirmed.
While anecdotal evidence has long suggested that straight men will settle for any woman with two eyes and a face, new studies reveal that even this may be giving them too much credit.
Behavioural scientist Martin Bishop said: “I’ve seen some shocking data about blokes in my time, but nothing compares to the discovery that straight men will happily go out with a 30-year-old woman who holidays in Disneyland every year.
“We presented our test subjects of heterosexual males with a line-up of fifty women, and every single one said he would ‘at least shag’ all of them. Even the withered old crone who says she bites genitals that we included for a laugh.
“We predicted that men would demand a basic level of hygiene and emotional connection from a woman, but these findings blow that theory out of the water. They really have no standards whatsoever.”
He added: “Our parallel study on heterosexual women was equally startling. One woman turned every man down because none of them had the right eyebrows.
I mean who cares about eyebrows?”
While anecdotal evidence has long suggested that straight men will settle for any woman with two eyes and a face, new studies reveal that even this may be giving them too much credit.
Behavioural scientist Martin Bishop said: “I’ve seen some shocking data about blokes in my time, but nothing compares to the discovery that straight men will happily go out with a 30-year-old woman who holidays in Disneyland every year.
“We presented our test subjects of heterosexual males with a line-up of fifty women, and every single one said he would ‘at least shag’ all of them. Even the withered old crone who says she bites genitals that we included for a laugh.
“We predicted that men would demand a basic level of hygiene and emotional connection from a woman, but these findings blow that theory out of the water. They really have no standards whatsoever.”
He added: “Our parallel study on heterosexual women was equally startling. One woman turned every man down because none of them had the right eyebrows.
I mean who cares about eyebrows?”