TwoWhalesInAPool
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The double-vaccinated will soon be allowed to attend gigs, go to nightclubs, travel abroad and put their rubbish in your wheelie bin.
What else?
* Allowed to use your downstairs toilet without asking even if not a tradesman
* Go through supermarket checkouts after 4pm on a Sunday
* Get Japanese-only import tracks on albums
* Exempted from hosepipe bans
* Diplomatic immunity
* Straight to the front of the queue for Stealth at Thorpe Park, even if you’ve literally just got off
* Complimentary meet-and-greet with Peter Andre
* Phone call from a lower-league footballer
* Drink-driving limit raised to three pints
* Can order cinemas to fast-forward credits of Marvel film straight to extra scene
* Own personal branch of Pret A Manger
* Choice of exclusive Professor Chris Whitty or Professor Jonathan Van-Tam skins on Fortnite
* Legal cannabis
* Joie de vivre and spring in step guaranteed
* Can order breakfast at McDonald’s right up until noon
* Secret September bank holiday
* Can choose one unvaccinated person within a 1.2 mile radius of their home address to be tarred and feathered and run out of town
* Massively reduced risk of contracting, getting hospitalised with or dying from fvcking Covid
www.thedailymash.co.uk
What else?
* Allowed to use your downstairs toilet without asking even if not a tradesman
* Go through supermarket checkouts after 4pm on a Sunday
* Get Japanese-only import tracks on albums
* Exempted from hosepipe bans
* Diplomatic immunity
* Straight to the front of the queue for Stealth at Thorpe Park, even if you’ve literally just got off
* Complimentary meet-and-greet with Peter Andre
* Phone call from a lower-league footballer
* Drink-driving limit raised to three pints
* Can order cinemas to fast-forward credits of Marvel film straight to extra scene
* Own personal branch of Pret A Manger
* Choice of exclusive Professor Chris Whitty or Professor Jonathan Van-Tam skins on Fortnite
* Legal cannabis
* Joie de vivre and spring in step guaranteed
* Can order breakfast at McDonald’s right up until noon
* Secret September bank holiday
* Can choose one unvaccinated person within a 1.2 mile radius of their home address to be tarred and feathered and run out of town
* Massively reduced risk of contracting, getting hospitalised with or dying from fvcking Covid
Jump the queue at Thorpe Park, and 17 other privileges the double-vaccinated will have within a month
THE double-vaccinated will soon be allowed to attend gigs, go to nightclubs, travel abroad and put their rubbish in your wheelie bin. What else?
www.thedailymash.co.uk