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Conservative government in talks to privatise oxygen
The Conservative government is engaged in talks surrounding the possibility of privatising oxygen, according to our sources.
Under the current system, Brits can breathe as much oxygen as they wish at no cost. However, a new proposal could change all that.The government has discussed the possibility of privatising oxygen and selling it off to the bidder that offers them the biggest slice of the action or has the most dirt on them. It’s thought that the government could make as much as £500 million from selling the oxygen rights of the British people.
Every home in Britain would be fitted with a smart meter that reads how much oxygen is being used within the house. A small fee would be charged for each unit of oxygen used. People would also be taxed on the amount of carbon dioxide they pump out.
“This would be an excellent way to boost the treasure’s coffers while encouraging people to be more economical about their breathing habits,” said our source in government.
Brits wouldn’t be allowed to leave their homes under the new proposal, except to go to work. This would stop any scroungers from trying to huff free oxygen next to a tree.
via ~ DailyRiversOfBlood
