Plasma TV's and private healthcare

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Massive plasma TVs and other things Daily Mail readers know are on Bibby Stockholm​

Bibby Stockholm barge is a rudimentary box bobbing about off the Dorset coast.

But that doesn’t stop Mail readers from imagining it contains these luxuries.

Massive plasma TVs
Based on no evidence at all, Mail readers will assume that jammy far left asylum seekers have landed on their feet and scored an en suite master bedroom furnished with 65” plasma TVs. All bought and paid for by innocent taxpayers, of course. Meanwhile they have to make do with an ancient cathode-ray tube set they could easily replace if they could be arsed.

Private healthcare
Bibby Stockholm barge is a floating benefits hotel in the eyes of a Mail reader. Which by their logic means the residents will be treated to the finest fast-tracked private healthcare the state can provide. If they had their way, the barge would be crawling with plague-infested rats and dump them off on Ascension Island. It’s only fair.

A free-to-use money dispenser
Speaking of benefits, Mail readers shudder to think how asylum seekers will have access to the free money dispenser that surely exists on the rudimentary prison vessel. They wouldn’t even spend that cash on something sensible like a second home or a holiday to Gibraltar. No, they’d fritter it away on trivial sh** like food and clothing.

Fleets of personal sports cars
Each resident will be gifted their own personal Porsche, Ferrari or Aston Martin, which they can use to zoom between the various wings of their pleasure palace. At least that’s what Mail readers assume, given how they think everyone else without a job is cruising around in sports cars. Curiously enough they’re never tempted to hand in their notice and play the system themselves. Almost as if they know it doesn’t really work like that.

A tunnel into their spare bedroom
Nothing scares Mail readers more than the idea that the Bibby Stockholm barge contains a secret tunnel which leads directly to their spare bedroom with the collapsible sofa bed. Imagine if an asylum seeker used it and walked right in? They’d have to confront them and learn all about their harrowing human experience. The cognitive dissonance would be too much to bear.
TY@TDM

 

[ruthless]

You forgot the fact its MEN ONLY and its crystal mon-fri with bollinger on the weekends.

I bought 30 copies of the daily mail. last weekend.
free £5 bet so it was it was 3.60 per voucher free gambling money.
shame columbia let me down but hey. i only kept the tv guide, seeing andrew pierce on gmb is enough to make me wanna buy VIZ instead

 

[Moriarty]

Massive plasma TVs and other things Daily Mail readers know are on Bibby Stockholm​

Bibby Stockholm barge is a rudimentary box bobbing about off the Dorset coast.

But that doesn’t stop Mail readers from imagining it contains these luxuries.

Massive plasma TVs
Based on no evidence at all, Mail readers will assume that jammy far left asylum seekers have landed on their feet and scored an en suite master bedroom furnished with 65” plasma TVs. All bought and paid for by innocent taxpayers, of course. Meanwhile they have to make do with an ancient cathode-ray tube set they could easily replace if they could be arsed.

Private healthcare
Bibby Stockholm barge is a floating benefits hotel in the eyes of a Mail reader. Which by their logic means the residents will be treated to the finest fast-tracked private healthcare the state can provide. If they had their way, the barge would be crawling with plague-infested rats and dump them off on Ascension Island. It’s only fair.

A free-to-use money dispenser
Speaking of benefits, Mail readers shudder to think how asylum seekers will have access to the free money dispenser that surely exists on the rudimentary prison vessel. They wouldn’t even spend that cash on something sensible like a second home or a holiday to Gibraltar. No, they’d fritter it away on trivial sh** like food and clothing.

Fleets of personal sports cars
Each resident will be gifted their own personal Porsche, Ferrari or Aston Martin, which they can use to zoom between the various wings of their pleasure palace. At least that’s what Mail readers assume, given how they think everyone else without a job is cruising around in sports cars. Curiously enough they’re never tempted to hand in their notice and play the system themselves. Almost as if they know it doesn’t really work like that.

A tunnel into their spare bedroom
Nothing scares Mail readers more than the idea that the Bibby Stockholm barge contains a secret tunnel which leads directly to their spare bedroom with the collapsible sofa bed. Imagine if an asylum seeker used it and walked right in? They’d have to confront them and learn all about their harrowing human experience. The cognitive dissonance would be too much to bear.
TY@TDM

Damn if the have Plasma TV's, thats not good.
That Tech was ended in what 2013.
There all LED now.
Poor folks having to have a TV in thier room thats 10 years old.

Well it could be worse, as least the boat they are on isn't sinking.

 

[pete66]

You forgot the fact its MEN ONLY and its crystal mon-fri with bollinger on the weekends.

I bought 30 copies of the daily mail. last weekend.
free £5 bet so it was it was 3.60 per voucher free gambling money.
shame columbia let me down but hey. i only kept the tv guide, seeing andrew pierce on gmb is enough to make me wanna buy VIZ instead

Viz is much more belivable ghen the papers anyway