MPs forced to claim more on expenses.

[SamBally]

MPs forced to claim more on expenses as energy bills rocket and the cost of living increases.​

The highest rate of inflation for 30 years will hit MPs hard as the expenses they have to claim skyrocket.

It’s a tough time to be an MP earning little more than £80k a year.

“If you’re worried about your rising household energy bills then just be grateful that you’re not an MP with an entire second home to pay for,” said Conservative MP Simon Williams.

“I don’t actually use my second home much – it’s more of an investment property – but I like to keep it constantly heated to avoid frozen pipes and suchlike.

“It’s going to cost the poor taxpayer an absolute fortune!

“Then we have rail fares rising by nearly 4%. Out of respect for the taxpayer, MPs may feel pressured to only book one first-class ticket when travelling and to put their briefcase in the overhead rack rather than in the seat next to them.

“Obviously we’ll still book two seats but we’ll certainly feel the pressure.

“Lending low-income households money to pay their bills will mean less cash is readily available to pay our expenses – this will further put MPs out of pocket as claims could take literally days to be processed.

“The worst thing about it is the sheer volume of paperwork. I’ll probably need to hire another assistant who can be dedicated to processing expense claims.

“Naturally, I’ll claim their salary on expenses but it’s still dreadfully inconvenient.”

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Guess who?

In an unusual turn of events, an arsehole responsible for a range of awful events, will face the consequences of his actions rather than laughing them off and going about his day as normal.

The unspecified arsehole, who may well have been responsible for any combination of corruption, bribery, threats of violence, adultery, causing unnecessary large scale deaths, deception and irredeemable incompetence, is set to face the consequences of his behaviour because that’s what the universe has decided should happen today.

The arsehole is likely to find himself either sacked, fined, divorced, homeless, penniless or in prison as a result of the consequences of his actions, which he will no doubt find utterly surprising, given, well, how everything has always gone for him.

“No, no, this is not right, this isn’t how it goes,” the arsehole told us.

“Doing things badly, or doing bad things isn’t something that has actual consequences. That’s simply not how the world works. Good Lord, can you imagine if it did?

“The prisons would be packed the rafters with various figures of influence, and then where would we be? What sort of incentive would that provide for the next generation of grifters and power-hungry sociopaths? Who would be their role models?

“No, I don’t care if there are police at my front door, I think I’d much prefer it if everyone simply realises what day it is today and then goes back to the living with the grim reality of people like me getting away with absolutely everything, forever.”

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

 

[SamBally]

So let me get this right...

As Mr Helmet mocks a woman, as usual. Starmer is the Labour leader yet he chose to automatically attack a solitary lone woman instead rather than the party.

Mr Helmet doesn't blame Boris for allowing vital gas storage facilities to close.

Saving a penny for a rainy day.

As in vital gas energy supplies.

The 100s of billions which was pissed up against the wall during Covid-19. On PPE contracts for the boys (and girls).

Draconian authoritarian legislation was passed which will curtail all our freedom.

That 80 seat majority.

That he has been whining about all week.

All under the Boris regime, not Labour.

I could go on and on (like he does) but the bloke is shot away, away with the fairies.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

So let me get this right...

As Mr Helmet mocks a woman, as usual. Starmer is the Labour leader yet he chose to automatically attack a woman instead.

Mr Helmet doesn't blame Boris for allowing vital gas storage facilities to close.

Saving a penny for a rainy day.

As in vital gas energy supplies.

The 100s of billions were wasted during Covid-19 on contracts for the boys (and girls).

Draconian authoritarian legislation was passed which will curtail all our freedom.

That he has been whining about all week.

All under the Boris regime, not Labour.

I could go on and on (like he does) but the bloke is shot away, away with the fairies.

And of course the lies about being able to lower gas and electricity prices when Brexit happened.

How's that working out!?!

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Ohhh Jerumee, pwoove am wrung

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

So let me get this right...

As Mr Helmet mocks a woman, as usual. Starmer is the Labour leader yet he chose to automatically attack a solitary lone woman instead rather than the party.

Mr Helmet doesn't blame Boris for allowing vital gas storage facilities to close.

Saving a penny for a rainy day.

As in vital gas energy supplies.

The 100s of billions which was pissed up against the wall during Covid-19. On PPE contracts for the boys (and girls).

Draconian authoritarian legislation was passed which will curtail all our freedom.

That 80 seat majority.

That he has been whining about all week.

All under the Boris regime, not Labour.

I could go on and on (like he does) but the bloke is shot away, away with the fairies.

 

[SamBally]

Just how incredibly stupid do you have to be to support the SAME politician who would be responsible for EVERYTHING Mr Helmet has been endlessly whining about for the past two years. If it wasn't all away with the fairies' conspiracy theories.

Stupid as stupid can be.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Just how incredibly stupid do you have to be to support the SAME politician who would be responsible for EVERYTHING Mr Helmet has been endlessly whining about for the past two years. If it wasn't all away with the fairies' conspiracy theories.

Stupid as stupid can be.