SamBally
Dance with me until the sun rises!
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2021
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A man who has loudly described his opposition to a ban on advertising junk food is really just worried he might forget about some of the things he likes.
Dave Pile, aged 59, an unemployed circus performer, loves to treat himself to a bit of junk food, especially when he is on the piss, which is every other night. Clinically obese Pile will stop at nothing to ensure he can continue to enjoy what he describes as ‘one of the few luxuries I can still enjoy’.
He told us, “We don’t live in a nanny state, so I don’t need the government telling me what ads I can and can not see.”
“Who cares if there is an advert for a delicious burger on the side of a bus? No one pays attention to what’s written on a bus. So what if there is a poster of a heavenly-looking piece of fried chicken on the tube? I certainly don’t care, and at the end of the day, that’s what really matters here.”
Pile went on to explain his biggest fears, telling us, “What if they stop advertising burgers – what then? How long until I completely forget what a burger even is and I lose an important and enjoyable part of my life? Is that what the government wants, for me to be endlessly miserable? It certainly feels that way.”
“I forget my own birthday almost every year unless I am given regular reminders in the days and weeks leading up to it, so I have no doubt this will be the same. Burger ads will end, and before you know it I will have forgotten they ever existed.”
“I will end up having to tattoo pictures of burgers onto my body like that guy Memento.”
”Now you will have to excuse me, Uber Eats are delivering a bargain bucket from KFC and a double Big Mac and fries.”
Dave Pile, aged 59, an unemployed circus performer, loves to treat himself to a bit of junk food, especially when he is on the piss, which is every other night. Clinically obese Pile will stop at nothing to ensure he can continue to enjoy what he describes as ‘one of the few luxuries I can still enjoy’.
He told us, “We don’t live in a nanny state, so I don’t need the government telling me what ads I can and can not see.”
“Who cares if there is an advert for a delicious burger on the side of a bus? No one pays attention to what’s written on a bus. So what if there is a poster of a heavenly-looking piece of fried chicken on the tube? I certainly don’t care, and at the end of the day, that’s what really matters here.”
Pile went on to explain his biggest fears, telling us, “What if they stop advertising burgers – what then? How long until I completely forget what a burger even is and I lose an important and enjoyable part of my life? Is that what the government wants, for me to be endlessly miserable? It certainly feels that way.”
“I forget my own birthday almost every year unless I am given regular reminders in the days and weeks leading up to it, so I have no doubt this will be the same. Burger ads will end, and before you know it I will have forgotten they ever existed.”
“I will end up having to tattoo pictures of burgers onto my body like that guy Memento.”
”Now you will have to excuse me, Uber Eats are delivering a bargain bucket from KFC and a double Big Mac and fries.”
