Help with bereavement

Discussion in 'General' started by Gary83619, Jul 10, 2018.

  1. Gary83619

    Gary83619 UKChat Newbie

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    Lost my wife 2 years ago to mnd I now can’t function with other people Don’t even think I’ve started greaving. Hope this isn’t too deep
     
  2. Wojcik

    Wojcik UKChat Expert

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    I can't even begin to imagine losing your soul mate at such a young age. Think you've got the perfect life going, and then a suddenly life just takes it away from you. We've all experienced loss. Some have hit us hard, and others not so hard. But remaining in this downward spiral is not going to help matters either. Ask yourself this. What would your wife be thinking of how you're acting? Would she want you to just hide away in seclusion and not experience human contact again? Or would she want you to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get on with your life? That's something to really think about.
     
  3. IanP

    IanP UKChat Newbie

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    Hi, I know how you feel. pm me if you need to chat. IanP.
     
  4. Gary83619

    Gary83619 UKChat Newbie

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    Yes I suppose


    Yes I suppose I have thought about what she wants wanted for me. I got straight back into work Didn’t give myself time to greave. I found myself homeless from leaving my job in August 2017 that is wen I I started to grieve she past away in April of 2016 I was a very out going person had a few friends now I find no real friends no one to talk to. She was 26 years older than me. Tho that was never an issue for us it was for her children. Although I do chat to her daughter I have lost all my family to many things. Mum death Heart disease 2008 father 1993 overdose. Being alone after having a partner whome was your soul mate seems like it has really messed me up I have lost all social skills My friends although not much help with emotions say I look and seem destroyed but they want me to move on and discover life again I just don’t know how. I think in all fairness I have had some kind of ptds affect. I just can’t talk to people I haven’t got relatives to talk to nor friend who even understand. I am writing on here tonight with sadness in my heart that I haven’t really told many people
     
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  5. ChasingRubies

    ChasingRubies UKChat Initiate

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    Bless you dear. Have you ever had bereavement counselling? I'm not sure where you are or if you're even in the UK but most places will have this available, just go to your GP and explain. You might even have some groups in your area with people in the same boat, it's definitely worth talking about with your doctor as it seems you've had a lot go on in your life and it could help you to get your life back on track and start enjoying it again.
     
  6. JustinCredible

    JustinCredible UKChat Familiar

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    The 90's were dark days for me the first Mrs Justin had left me. For a year I was in a deep depression that couldn't see any end to it then I met the most wonderful girl. To this day I think of her as the love of my life..her name has always been the answer to any account security question. Then after a year she got sick and within a month was dead. I remember coming out of the ICU at the hospital in a daze and looking at people going about their every day lives wondering why they weren't also devastated..how stupid of me . . Since those days women have come and gone and there is now a 2nd Mrs Justin..so as they say life does go on but importantly you have to make it go on . .and yes I know that's easier said than done..this site could be a start for you there's some decent people here to chat to.
     
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  7. Wojcik

    Wojcik UKChat Expert

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    This must be a huge step for you. Any type of communication about how you're feeling about your loss must feel like somewhat of a relief.
    And the fact that people can relate to you and you realise that you're not alone. There are people going through the same thing that need help.
    You're 35 Gary, a whole life ahead of you. You've had the fortunate situation of finding your soulmate and finding real love. But this doesn't mean your journey ends here. No, experience brings whole new opportunities to you. Helping others who are in similar situations to you for instance.
    This is the first step of grievance, and i know you may not be religious, and I'm not either, but the local church really helps. Get involved in community activities and help out the community more. It's very rewarding.
     
  8. Jude99

    Jude99 UKChat Initiate

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    So sorry to hear of you loss Gary...its so sad to lose someone so close. There is help and care for anyone suffering bereavement. A great supportive charity is CRUSE....all highly trained breavement councillors who really help and care. There is also one with NHS.UK best look at them on Google and make contact as soon as you feel able.
     
  9. thecakelady

    thecakelady UKChat Initiate

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