Extreme ironing champion.

[Kev45]

Hey guyz you might not be aware that I am a former extreme iron champion. Here is a short clip of me on my way to the gold medal six years ago.

The sport is very inclusive, and the basic equipment beginners need to compete is an iron and a board, my preference is steam, but there are no set rules, try a few irons until you find one that suits your ironing style.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Russell-Hobbs-Supreme-Steam-Traditional/dp/B01GFPWTI4

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Minky-Expert-Blue-Ironing-Board/dp/B0DK9MWZZT

These are some beginner running shoes I started with, but you can invest more as your ironing improves.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hitmars-Trainers-Running-Lightweight-Sneakers/dp/B0CQX9MH9T

This what I use to fuel myself during a training session.



They are three years out of date but really cheap on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bounty-Protein-Energy-Chocolate-Coconut/dp/B091HXFBNG

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

@Kev45

The image of you, clad in high-performance running shoes (probably still creased from your last marathon dash to a Himalayan summit), perched atop General Sherman, the giant sequoia, flattening a pair of trousers while delicately balancing a pack of Bounty bars for “fuel”, it brings a tear to my eye.

Here's my take on your splendid equipment photo's.

I know you are far too modest to show the 'real' stuff!

* The Iron: A state-of-the-art, titanium-infused, anti-gravity beast, it has a Wi-Fi connection and a soul. NASA called they want it back.

* The Ironing Board: Wind-tunnel tested, carbon fibre, collapsible via voice command. Folds itself up out of sheer respect when you enter the arena.

* The Shoes: Not just any shoes. We’re talking Nike Alphafly 3s, in UKChat colours, custom-dipped in platinum and laced with threads of unicorn mane. You don’t run to a summit, you glide, powered by chat forum fairy tales and raw conviction.

* Bounty Bars: Your sacred fuel. A mountain of them. A coconut-stacked monument to perseverance. Nutritionists are baffled, but you claim the secret lies in licking the wrapper for electrolytes.
​

Remember, the rest of you forum contributors.

You know who you are, and so quick to mock <tut tut>

@Kev45 didn’t choose the extreme ironing life. The extreme ironing life chose @Kev45 . And while you merely press your garments under a stained and smelly chair cushion, in your dimly lit greasy 1970s kitchen bedsit, he scales cliffs and smooths sleeves in the clouds.

Legend.

Hero.

Wrinkle warrior!

Never change, @Kev45


photo of @Kev45 in action atop a 6000m sandstone needle

 

[Kev45]

 

[LadyOnArooftop]

I hope that's a cordless iron you're using there!

 

[Kev45]

By coincidence, here is me answering the phone and when I was asked that very question by the Iron Man Be A Better Board organisers.

 

[Kev45]

Hey Guyz, this is the crew carrying our vital equipment up to base camp for the inaugural world cup event at Mount Everest last year. It was a huge success, and I came a respectable 34th after the judges were impressed by my triple flip-flop, back reverse, quadruple crease.

 

[Kev45]

I had to scroll past 8539 threads to refind this, I need a little lie down before I share my next ironing adventure.

 

[Kev45]

Morning guyz, well, people in chat have been asking how I began my extreme ironing journey and how I managed to reach the pinnacle of the sport.

It would take far too long to explain here, but basically it happened after I suffered a serious injury in my previous career as a professional ear wrestler, after which I could no longer wriggle my potato ear like a snake charmer and so with no real defence I had to reluctantly retire.

The man who caused the career ending injury, a Russian called Lugitrightonoff, went on to become a world champ in our weight limit, and so I was competing at quite a high level, and it took me a fair few months to get over the disappointment.



Here is Lugitrightonoff with his steely gaze, psyching out the formidable American champion Jumbo One Ear, on his way to the ear wrestling world championship.