Empty supermarket shelves

TwoWhalesInAPool

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The Brexiter's guide to why it's definitely not Brexit's fault


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Lorry queues and empty supermarket shelves are happening as predicted, but they’re definitely nothing to do with Brexit.

Leave voter Kris Gahmmon explains:


When people are stuck at home, a bit bored, what do they do? Have a snack. That’s the logical explanation for empty supermarket shelves – everyone’s having a nice cheese and Branston sandwich, with 20 carrots and three bottles of wine.

Remoaner sabotage
Remoaners are so keen to see Brexit fail they’re up in the dead of night changing road signs to send all the lorries to Kent. This is easily the most plausible reason for our so-called ‘Brexit problems’. They’ll be blowing up bridges next.

It’s the Pingdemic
Covid cases are up again which is why everyone in the food supply chain’s off sick. Some blame Boris Johnson, but we had no choice but to vote for him because otherwise we’d have Venezuelan socialism and empty shelves and food shortages.

Illegal immigrants are stopping traffic
Look at how many lorries are lined up. There’s hundreds, all full of food and hairdryers and stuff. But immigrants don’t respect the M20 any more than they respect the English Channel and are always darting across, making our HGV heroes brake and causing jams.

It’s normal to bring the army in
So what if the army has to deliver basic food supplies? It’s a totally everyday occurrence for them to help with floods, fire prevention, keeping public order by enforcing a shoot-on-sight curfew, arresting opposition leaders, that kind of thing. All major democracies do it.

‘Brexit has no downside, only a considerable upside’
There’s no way the top Brexiters would have lied about the benefits because they wanted to be prime minister, were on a lucrative grift or were loony anti-EU obsessives. That quote from David Davis MP sums it up, although you don’t hear that much from him these days. I wonder why?

 
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