Concerns raised about 13yr olds in chat rooms such as YaH

[Milliemoo]

I totally agree with Hollie. The issues of whether or not children will lie about their age (presumably if they say they are 18 they are of little interest to a paedophile anyway) and whether or not we want to talk to youngsters in the main room are not my biggest concerns however. My main concern is how this site will be perceived by those who are seeking a hunting ground. An online predator sees a chatroom with unmoderated pms called "Youngatheart" which is supposedly over 40s (note at top of room says so) but allows 13 year olds in and that is going to be his or her concept of Utopia. We know that YAH doesn't relate to this but sadly their perception of the room will be very different and convenient to them. I'm afraid it may well appear to the outside world that the site is endorsing child grooming. The only possible way that 13 year olds should be allowed onto the site is with a fully moderated (including pms) teen room. Given that the Forum has no moderator at the moment I do wonder who would be interested in doing this!

Do any of us want to be chatting in rooms that attract paedophiles? I know I don't! Make it over 18 and of no interest to them, I say.

 

[Shelagh]

Earlier today a post was made regarding whether or not children aged 13 yr and above should be allowed onto this site. I wanted to address this with this post as it relates to the YAH room which is loved and used by many. Some of the content here has been given to me by other chatters and included in this post. Thank you for that

The YaH room is a very much loved communial room by a large number of chatters and forms an integral and intrinsic part of this site. However, YaH is supposed to be for 40+. Previously that age was pretty much maintained but in recent times there has been an influx of 18 + and this, along with the facility of uploading photos and the cam, has changed the dynamics of the room. Being there is no filter on the age of a chatter, by default that meant they were allowed in.

This situation was and still is extremely hard for all chatters of a mature age as the topics they want to chat about are NOT the same in the main as 18 - 20 yr old's. the language difference and social attitudes between a 18 yr old to a 65 yr old ar very different, and in the main, the respect shown to other people is different between those ages too, there will always be the exception to the rule and yes YaH does have some lovely chatters of a much younger age but in a small minority this has not been the case, and with no real means of stopping it, is a continuing problem.

The concept of having 13yr olds in any chat room leaves the majority of people with a chill down their back. They are children, and while some maybe street wise, fact is they are extremely vulnerable. Every day I see women, and yes men too, who have been caught out with so called "friendships" .. thankfully once realized, most have enough savvie to extricate themselves from situations that they don't see coming. Online security is a constant risk as we know. The onus of responsibility for a child lays with the parent in giving the correct guidance, but fact is, many children do not get this advice, and even those who do, sometimes ignore it... that's what children generically do and more so when with their mates.

We all talk of predators and there are many and the dangers high ....but there is another aspect to this. What about those genuine older people (some in there 70's) who don't perhaps think to check out a profile and age etc, (and some dont) and they end up chatting in all innocence to a young girl? ... will they then get labelled with that filthy P word? Could this also lead to entrapment?

A few days ago it became a reality. (it may have happened before.. I don't know) The YaH had a female chatter aged 14 yrs old in. In the main room , this child didn't actually say anything wrong, and because the rules say 13 yrs and upwards, plus there was no legitimate reason to boot or ban through misbehaviour or bad language etc the child stayed in the room.

How do you think that made us feel? As moderators we are NOT child minders, or baby sitters and though as it happens i do happen to have some training in the area of safety for young people online, we are not here to spend an hour or longer with each child trying to run through all the dangers of coming in to a chat room.

On a personal note, I completely disagree with any child being allowed access into any chat room, how ever fact is the little darlings can simply pop there age as 18 and we would be none the wiser would we? BUT as children as young as 13 ARE being encouraged to go onto sites, those sites need to provide a room especially for them which is closely monitored and supervised. With different filters and safety precautions in place And most important of all, Trained Moderators who know exactly what they are looking for and how to deal l with the various situations that will crop up.

The YaH whilst the cleanest room on this particular site is very good and we work really hard to keep it that way for those and, there are many, who want a clean room, and thoroughly appreciate what we do as mods, ( i get that some don't by the way ) is still absolutely not suitable for 13 yr olds but if they are removed ... where will they go.... the lobby? ... the cafe ?

This post isn't here to cause arguments or disruption, but sensible and constructive comments on your perception on this topic.

Am extremely interested to hear what anyone else thinks on this.

Thank you

 

[Shelagh]

Obviously 13 is too young to be in an adult chat room but how do you overcome the fact that dates of birth cannot be checked......people can put in any d.o.b they wish.... until that can be overcome you will not solve the problem.... maybe as it says 13 and over are allowed they wont feel the need to lie but I am sure some will....

 

[paula]

my personal opinion is 13 is far to young to be in an adult chatroom but how would we know if they sighn up with a profile stateing there 20 year old and there 2 things we need to safeguard 1 being it is elegal to talk to minors but how will we know theres some young teenage girls who could come in saying there in 20s and poorman who might end up in pm with them could end up in jail for so called grooming it is far to risky on both sides to allow children in the room
not only for childrens safety but ours to cos we all know how some young girls especially act on the net

 

[Flower58]

This should be kept to 18 and overs. How anyone could think that a 13 year old child should be allowed to use a chat room of this sort, and actively encourage it, is just beyond belief!

 

[septemberwoman]

The decision to reduce the age restriction for the chat site hasn't come without controversy. There are many parents that use this website, who wouldn't allow their child on this chat site, due to the potential dangers and risks that it brings with it.

I can understand the idea of a family friendly chat site, but i don't think the idea was quite thought out as well. An idea that has sparked off major concerns among the chatters.

The other issue of reducing the age restriction, and you quite rightfully pointed out, is the extra unnecessary workload that has been placed upon you.
Like you stated, you aren't child minders or baby sitters monitoring every move to safe guard vulnerable children. That would be an unfair burden to place upon you and the rest of the team who work hard to make this chat site work for everyone.

I think It's perfectly within reason to challenge and scrutinise a decision that has been made. If we do so in a fair and polite way stating why we feel a decision is wrong, we can change those decisions.

 

[septemberwoman]

everything you put is as we all see this move by UKChat letting 13yr olds in adult chat rooms why on earth are the government and
schools and all agencies concerned with childrens welfare and well being acting to safe guard children because yes 13 yr olds are children and they make this silly move to open adult chat rooms to them no one under 18 should be allowed in adult chat rooms plenty of chat rooms for under 18 and moderated to protect them

 

[Sniper]

hi folks . . . . . we all have a moral duty to make sure, `WE` stay safe as possible, by coming together cohesively, and work for the better good, and also to help others who come and go here be safe too. The 13yr old rule, is just plain stupidity beyond reason, given the current situations around the world of abuse, the owners should hang their heads in shame, for even contemplating allowing children, into a potentially lethal environment and i am sure, no one here is going to be any different in making safety, the number one issue. Even Admin was having an open forum argument about ages on here with some of the regs, because he didnt know there was a difference between the short version of the rules you see everyday, and what is the much longer version deep in the bowels of the site, however, this isn`t the U.S. and we can quite rightly demand stricter controls especially now.

 

[Sniper]

And apart from us all being part of making this site at least safer and better, the best thing the site can do is recognise, that if they are openly stating 13yr olds are allowed on site, they are also advocating, the visitations of exactly the kind of people we all hate so much, so Stelevio, Step up to the plate and do the right and moral thing, to make this safer, not just for us all, but for the knowledge you have or will or maybe minimise the chances of anything happening, within your /our site.

 

[ange52]

Well i disagree with 13 yr old being in a chat room ...... I also thought that the site doesn't want pictures of children uploaded and
i totally agree with that, but how can you stop a 13yr old putting their picture up. if they are allowed on the site?? surely a 13yr old is just a child .?

 

[Flower58]

Rule 3 states 'no posting of pictures of minors'. The site is acknowledging that it is now encouraging minors to participate in what has always been an adult site. This also leads onto the question of whether these 'minors' will be allowed to post their own photos on profiles as adults can? It seems the site cannot protect adults at times, how they plan to safeguard any children using the site would be interesting to hear.

 

[Fruitbat]

Perhaps we could just restore the 40 year old MINIMUM age limit for YAH, and let the youngsters play elsewhere?

 

[jacqui0]

What happened to it being an adult room? and site? I will refrain from posting my views on 13 year olds using this site or the people who are allowing it!!!

 

[jacqui0]

Since the new owners and the loss of the original room, the changes have driven people who built this site and room out....I am not sure that being a chatter in a room that actively encourages 13 year olds and the fact that anyone checking out the "avenues" for grooming among other things is not a comfortable one.

Hopefully more than one person will alert monitoring bodies of the changes and concerns.

 

[jimern]

I am sure that as a 77 yo I do not want to be found chatting to a 13 yo kid. Over 18 yo in YAH room please

 

[Wojcik]

Hi just a few quick notes upon this topic, taking great care not to upset or offend .
13 is indeed to young and if a13 yr old posts their own pic technically they broke rule 3.
On a more serious note though...not all chatters here are innocent nice people some (a very few) are predators and will prey on the young.
Also the topics of older folks surely can't be at the same level as younger people as we think differently have different levels of conversation etching etc.
I know we have great moderators and all that but surely we should look at why this decision was made? Maybe someone from admin can explain?
There are other sites owned by the owners of here that are strictly over 18 UK only and non UK.
I am not anti young people but to be fair would hate the idea of my children chatting in adult rooms.
There needs to be a degree of sensibility about this matter.
I would welcome a response from admin about this topic too not in a nasty way but more in a curoiys as to why way.
Thanks all stay safe xx

From what i can see Bacon, i think mods have even questioned the decision to reduce the chat age. I think we forget sometimes that mods are just people like us. Mothers, fathers and even grandparents that are concerned about children's safety.