SamBally
Dance with me until the sun rises!
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Online hard-right hardmen around the world are reluctantly fulfilling their obligation to play the new entry in the Call of Duty franchise.
Call of Duty: Black Ops, released yesterday, requires players to once again battle an imaginary foe armed with nuclear weapons whether they want to or not.
Dave Pile, aged 59 and from Bolton said: “They told me it would be over quickly when I signed up in 2007.
“Instead, fifteen years later, I’m still shouldering the same old burdens in the same urban ruins with no prospect of escape.
“The dog needs walking and that gutter won’t last the winter but I’ve got responsibilities.”
Gamer Wayne Hayes said: “At first I told them no, I’m out. But then I realised I’m the only guy who can do this.
“People think it’s fun. How is mass slaughter in ruined cities where men live like rats to survive fun? “Dying won’t end it. Death’s barely a bump in the road to me.”
The onerous chore of wiping out some global plot or other is expected to take about two weeks, after which players will continue mandatory shooting-each-other in training every other evening while they plot world domination.
Call of Duty: Black Ops, released yesterday, requires players to once again battle an imaginary foe armed with nuclear weapons whether they want to or not.
Dave Pile, aged 59 and from Bolton said: “They told me it would be over quickly when I signed up in 2007.
“Instead, fifteen years later, I’m still shouldering the same old burdens in the same urban ruins with no prospect of escape.
“The dog needs walking and that gutter won’t last the winter but I’ve got responsibilities.”
Gamer Wayne Hayes said: “At first I told them no, I’m out. But then I realised I’m the only guy who can do this.
“People think it’s fun. How is mass slaughter in ruined cities where men live like rats to survive fun? “Dying won’t end it. Death’s barely a bump in the road to me.”
The onerous chore of wiping out some global plot or other is expected to take about two weeks, after which players will continue mandatory shooting-each-other in training every other evening while they plot world domination.
