Another promise broken

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Basically, you're f.ucked: The changes to National Insurance explained​

Not sure what the changes to National Insurance are all about?

Get your head around the basics with this guide.

Low earners are still screwed
People earning less than £34,000 can breathe a sigh of relief because they will be paying less National Insurance. This means they can frivolously splash their cash on food and housing while cranking their heating up to the max. Let’s just hope the price of those luxuries doesn’t go sky-high. That would be disastrous.

It’s coming at the shittest time
You’ve only just recovered from looking at your energy meter, and now you’re expected to deal with NI deductions eating into your pay packet. Plus there’s a war going on, Covid’s still knocking about, and the climate continues to be buggered. You can’t even cheer yourself up with a big plate of comfort food like bangers and mash, because all the pigs have been culled thanks to Brexit.

A pay rise will leave you out of pocket
Been working overtime and sucking up to the boss in a pathetic attempt to get a promotion? Bad move. A pay rise will push you into the upper National Insurance bracket, and before you know it you’ll be earning less overall than you used to. You’re better off highlighting how incompetent you are, but don’t overdo it by buggering up all the invoices and getting a spider’s web tattoo across all your face or you’ll be fired.

The money won’t go near social care
Money raised by National Insurance is supposed to go towards social care, but with Johnson’s extremely slack attitude to dodgy financial dealings that probably won’t happen. Instead the funds will be ploughed into Carrie’s next home decoration project, or popped into an empty jar labelled ‘party gate fines’. Also that new national flagship isn’t going to pay for itself.

Basically, you’re f.ucked
News about National Insurance is filled with numbers and percentages, making it confusing as well as depressing. All you need to know is that you’re f**ked and things aren’t going to get better. Come October when energy prices shoot up again this won’t feel like a big deal, so chill out. These are the good times, so enjoy having your central heating on for half an hour a day.

via ~DailySunlitUplands

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Jimmy Carr’s tax affairs were immoral, but Rishi’s wife is not a politician so leave her tax affairs alone, insist Tories.​

Conservative politicians who climbed over each other to criticise the tax affairs of comedian Jimmy Carr when it was revealed he used perfectly legal schemes to reduce his tax liability, have today insisted that people leave Rishi Sunak’s wife alone because she’s merely using perfectly legal schemes to reduce her tax liability.

After new emerged that Rishi Sunak’s wife is domiciled in India for tax purposes, despite living in the UK with her husband and children, Tory MPs have been quick to point out that simply being married to a politician is no reason to publicly speculate on the morality of their tax status.

Tory MP Kriz Tohppfur told us, “I was one of the first to criticise Jimmy Carr for his immoral use of the perfectly legal loopholes we refused to close – and rightly so. How dare he try and save money on his taxes by using avoidance methods that we ensured broke no laws whatsoever. It was disgusting.

“But bringing Rishi’s wife into this for doing much the same thing is completely wrong. I shouldn’t have to explain why it’s different this time, which is why I’m not going to attempt to so.

“Just because a woman is married to the nation’s accountant is absolutely no reason to question her avoiding paying taxes as a UK resident using of the very rules he is in charge of.

“She was born in India, and remains domiciled in India. As is her right. Just because she lives here with her husband and children is no reason to question the non-dom status for which she will have had to apply.

“Yes, she will have had to apply to the government for that non-dom status. The same government whose second in command happens to share her bed.

“I’m sure it’s all absolutely fine. Move along now. Nothing to see here.”

via ~ DailyConMerchants