Amusing old sports jokes

[LadyOnArooftop]

Daley Thompson, Tessa Sanderson and Steve Cram are all round at Seb Coe's house for tea. Steve brought the fish, Tessa brought the chips, Daley brought the mushy peas and Seb provided the salt and vinegar. Suddenly there is a knock at the door so Seb gets up to answer. "Who is it?", asks everyone in unison, "It's Fatima wi t'bread."

 

[Billyliar]

Seb coe was invited to the new wembley opening party a few years ago.
He tried to enter the wrong vip section, the steward pointed out, his entrance, was the other side off the ground
Thats the other side of the ground, dont you know who i am, im seb coe he said to the steward.
Well said the steward, it wont take you very long then!

 

[Billyliar]

Not a joke, but in the 1990s steve intresting davis, came to our pub to do a promotion.
Id taken a few drinks, and waited for a prudent time to make contact.
I went over to him, and said i could make you a lot of money mate.
How he said?
We could go around the pubs, playing pool for money i said.
But people wlll know my face he said.
I didnt think of that.

 

[LadyOnArooftop]

Not a joke but a true story.
In a non-league match a player got a head injury. The trainer rushed onto the pitch with a sponge and bucket of cold water to revive him. He shouted over to the manager "he's come round but he doesn't know who he is." The manager shouted back "tell him he's Lionel Messi".. true story.

 

[Manky]

One Celtic fan says to another - OYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

 

[asaultnviniger]

I bumped into a man outside a store last december and all he could go on about was how he hates this time of year dressed up in a stupid red outfit and embarrassing himself in front of thousands of people. I said for god sake rashford, you chose to play for man u.

 

[LadyOnArooftop]

A Newcastle fan stumbles over a magic lamp. When she touches and rubs it (the lamp!), a genie appears and says that she can have one wish. The Geordie says 'I want to live forever'. The genie shakes his head and says 'Sorry pet, that's the one thing I can't do'. She thinks for a second and then says 'Alright, I want to live until Sunderland (Blunderland) wins the Premier League'. The genie just scowls and says 'You crafty sod'.