TwoWhalesInAPool
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GB News has managed to alienate its core audience of nutjobs by breaching its bullshit broadcasting standards. Here’s the full list of behaviour that goes against the channel’s code of conduct.
Admitting slavery was wrong
Viewers boycotted GB News after one of its presenters took the knee in solidarity with the England football team, and rightly so. There’s no room for gestures of solidarity on a channel that’s doing its damndest to stir up a culture war. If you want to see that sort of lefty claptrap switch over to Channel 4 while it still exists.
Using well-designed graphics
If a polished graphic that didn’t try to look like the Union Jack crept onto the screen for a split second, then gammons would be forced to wash their eyes with soapy water. The GB News style guide clearly states that everything should have the simmering jingoistic malevolence of a WI bake sale.
Throwing over to a link seamlessly
Slick professionalism is an absolute no-no. Minutes of dead air while news readers awkwardly try to fill the time let viewers know they’re watching the real news, not lies pedalled by the ‘lamestream’ media. A smooth transition to a reporter in the field is why Andrew Neil took time off.
Reporting with impartiality
Despite being owned by a company called All Perspectives Ltd, GB News has a very narrow scope when it comes to reporting. Basically, any opinion further right of Richard Littlejohn is allowed generous airtime, and anyone who’s never said ‘it’s ‘elf ‘n’ safety gone mad’ is permanently barred from entering the studio.
Going a day without sneering ‘woke’
If a whole day goes by without Simon McCoy or Alastair Stewart sneering the ''woke'' word then the GB News message board gets flooded with furious phone calls from outraged oddballs. This misguided hatred is what they pay their licence fee for, after all.
www.thedailymash.co.uk
Admitting slavery was wrong
Viewers boycotted GB News after one of its presenters took the knee in solidarity with the England football team, and rightly so. There’s no room for gestures of solidarity on a channel that’s doing its damndest to stir up a culture war. If you want to see that sort of lefty claptrap switch over to Channel 4 while it still exists.
Using well-designed graphics
If a polished graphic that didn’t try to look like the Union Jack crept onto the screen for a split second, then gammons would be forced to wash their eyes with soapy water. The GB News style guide clearly states that everything should have the simmering jingoistic malevolence of a WI bake sale.
Throwing over to a link seamlessly
Slick professionalism is an absolute no-no. Minutes of dead air while news readers awkwardly try to fill the time let viewers know they’re watching the real news, not lies pedalled by the ‘lamestream’ media. A smooth transition to a reporter in the field is why Andrew Neil took time off.
Reporting with impartiality
Despite being owned by a company called All Perspectives Ltd, GB News has a very narrow scope when it comes to reporting. Basically, any opinion further right of Richard Littlejohn is allowed generous airtime, and anyone who’s never said ‘it’s ‘elf ‘n’ safety gone mad’ is permanently barred from entering the studio.
Going a day without sneering ‘woke’
If a whole day goes by without Simon McCoy or Alastair Stewart sneering the ''woke'' word then the GB News message board gets flooded with furious phone calls from outraged oddballs. This misguided hatred is what they pay their licence fee for, after all.
Admitting slavery was wrong, and five other breaches of GB News' standards
GB News has managed to alienate its core audience of nutjobs by breaching its bullshit broadcasting standards. Here’s the full list of behaviour that goes against the channel’s code of conduct.
www.thedailymash.co.uk
