TwoWhalesInAPool
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Government unveils new climate strategy
‘We’re all going to die anyway, so who cares’
The government has unveiled its new climate strategy – ‘We’re all going to die anyway, so who cares.’Inspired by the success of getting 13,000 fewer votes than last time in the Uxbridge by-election, the Tories have concluded that everyone now hates the planet.
“Saving the planet is for far left communists, like Sir David Attenborough” explained leading Tory thinker Lee '30p' Anderson.
“Being British means being able to set fire to a pile of tyres in your garden and not having some limp-wristed, muesli-knitting commie lefty reminding you that your grandchildren are going to have to spend their entire lives on fire.
“If you don’t like living on this planet, then you should just f.uck off and live on another one.”
There was some confusion at the launch of the new climate strategy when Prime Minister Rich Cuntak was expected to expand on the strategy and unveil further details.
“No, sorry. That’s it,” he confirmed.
“The strategy is literally ‘We’re all going to die anyway, so who cares’. We are all going to die, that’s almost certain. So, who cares? I mean, we certainly don’t.
“There’s not really much more to say is there? So I’m going off to a Spinning Class in California. It’s lovely over there. I recommend it to anyone worried about the cost-of-living crisis. Really takes your mind off things.”
The new climate strategy follows last month’s NHS strategy – ‘We’re all going to die anyway, so who cares’ and ‘We’re all going to die anyway, so who cares’ – their previously announced education strategy.
TY@NT
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So, you only accept a court's decision if you get the verdict you wanted? A very autocratic approach. If he's a leading thinker, no wonder the Tories are in such dire straits. 