Kev45
Fluffy elephants dance on candyfloss pink clouds.
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2022
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THE UK is not about to erupt into civil war, but if it did, which side would you be on? Find out with this quiz.
Where do you get all your news and information?
A) The BBC, The Guardian, maybe The i if I’m feeling a bit naughty. I’ve always been tempted by Good Morning Britain, but I was conditioned not to watch ITV by my parents.
B) Twitter accounts with blue check marks, conspiracy theory forums on Reddit, and my drinking buddy Wayne who has the Union Flag tattooed on his face.
How would you describe your ethnicity?
A) Reluctantly white/ other.
B) (Chanting) white, white, white, white. Or aren’t I allowed to shout that into your face anymore?
What were you up to last Sunday?
A) Anxiously watching news of the riots while curled up in the foetal position and sucking my thumb. It’s all a bit much, isn’t it?
B) My lawyer has advised me not to answer that question. Next.
A crime has been committed, what do you assume about the suspect?
A) Nothing. I patiently wait for all the evidence to be compiled and verified before processing it. Like you’re supposed to.
B) Instantly jump to conclusions that reinforce my racist worldview. When my theories are debunked, I double down and get a brick thrown at my bollocks.
What do you think of Elon Musk?
A) He’s a complete tech-bro douchebag whose own daughter has publicly turned against him with a damning tirade, which speaks for itself. Also, his sh** cars look ****.
B) He’s a genius who has foreseen civil wars for years. Sooner or later his prediction must come true and his towering intellect will be validated. Plus he went out with Grimes who I also fancy.
ANSWERS
Mostly As: Congratulations, you are on the side that would win the hypothetical civil war facing the UK. Not because you would make any difference personally, but because the opposition is a bunch of twats wearing hoodies, and you have the army fighting on your behalf.
Mostly Bs: Unlucky, you’re on the losing side that would be clubbed into submission by riot police and surrender on day one. Don’t expect the ring-wing press or Nigel Farage to come to your rescue either, they’ve all covered their arses by abandoning you.
Where do you get all your news and information?
A) The BBC, The Guardian, maybe The i if I’m feeling a bit naughty. I’ve always been tempted by Good Morning Britain, but I was conditioned not to watch ITV by my parents.
B) Twitter accounts with blue check marks, conspiracy theory forums on Reddit, and my drinking buddy Wayne who has the Union Flag tattooed on his face.
How would you describe your ethnicity?
A) Reluctantly white/ other.
B) (Chanting) white, white, white, white. Or aren’t I allowed to shout that into your face anymore?
What were you up to last Sunday?
A) Anxiously watching news of the riots while curled up in the foetal position and sucking my thumb. It’s all a bit much, isn’t it?
B) My lawyer has advised me not to answer that question. Next.
A crime has been committed, what do you assume about the suspect?
A) Nothing. I patiently wait for all the evidence to be compiled and verified before processing it. Like you’re supposed to.
B) Instantly jump to conclusions that reinforce my racist worldview. When my theories are debunked, I double down and get a brick thrown at my bollocks.
What do you think of Elon Musk?
A) He’s a complete tech-bro douchebag whose own daughter has publicly turned against him with a damning tirade, which speaks for itself. Also, his sh** cars look ****.
B) He’s a genius who has foreseen civil wars for years. Sooner or later his prediction must come true and his towering intellect will be validated. Plus he went out with Grimes who I also fancy.
ANSWERS
Mostly As: Congratulations, you are on the side that would win the hypothetical civil war facing the UK. Not because you would make any difference personally, but because the opposition is a bunch of twats wearing hoodies, and you have the army fighting on your behalf.
Mostly Bs: Unlucky, you’re on the losing side that would be clubbed into submission by riot police and surrender on day one. Don’t expect the ring-wing press or Nigel Farage to come to your rescue either, they’ve all covered their arses by abandoning you.
