Bob knew of how it is that people come together, and how they sometimes drift apart. It didn’t seem fair. But he had been told numerous times in the past that no one ever said that life is fair. He had to agree that whoever it was that never said it certainly knew what they weren’t talking about. He understood that whole families can be torn apart by lots of things. It can happen because of money, jealousy, tactless criticism of another’s spouse . . . or a well-placed tornado.
His own family became divided after one Thanksgiving when the conversation at the dinner table turned to his Uncle Gomer. His Uncle Gomer was shot to death during a bank robbery that past spring. He was at the bank waiting in line to cash his welfare check when three masked men walked in and told everyone to not move. One of the robbers pointed his gun toward everyone and said, “Are there any heroes in here? HUH?”
As luck would have it, Gomer had rescued a helpless puppy from an old well just three weeks earlier. So he raised his hand and said in a prideful tone, “Yup, right here.” Those were Gomer’s last words. He took a slug to his chest and collapsed to the floor, dead. The robber said, “Any other heroes in here?” Gomer’s good friend, Oscar, who had recently risked life and limb rescuing a cat from a tree during a severe thunder storm, was also waiting in line to cash his welfare check. He was going to raise his hand when the robber had first asked about heroes, but Gomer beat him to it. So, after careful consideration, Oscar kept his heroics to himself, deciding that it just wasn’t worth mentioning right then.
Bob’s family members were split as to whether Gomer’s death was the result of his total lack of intelligence or his complete lack of humility. After a heated discussion during which other examples of Gomer’s total lack of intelligence were brought to light, dinner ended early, with Gomer-defenders getting up and putting their coats on and roughly fishing for their car keys. The two sides haven’t spoken to each other since.
His own family became divided after one Thanksgiving when the conversation at the dinner table turned to his Uncle Gomer. His Uncle Gomer was shot to death during a bank robbery that past spring. He was at the bank waiting in line to cash his welfare check when three masked men walked in and told everyone to not move. One of the robbers pointed his gun toward everyone and said, “Are there any heroes in here? HUH?”
As luck would have it, Gomer had rescued a helpless puppy from an old well just three weeks earlier. So he raised his hand and said in a prideful tone, “Yup, right here.” Those were Gomer’s last words. He took a slug to his chest and collapsed to the floor, dead. The robber said, “Any other heroes in here?” Gomer’s good friend, Oscar, who had recently risked life and limb rescuing a cat from a tree during a severe thunder storm, was also waiting in line to cash his welfare check. He was going to raise his hand when the robber had first asked about heroes, but Gomer beat him to it. So, after careful consideration, Oscar kept his heroics to himself, deciding that it just wasn’t worth mentioning right then.
Bob’s family members were split as to whether Gomer’s death was the result of his total lack of intelligence or his complete lack of humility. After a heated discussion during which other examples of Gomer’s total lack of intelligence were brought to light, dinner ended early, with Gomer-defenders getting up and putting their coats on and roughly fishing for their car keys. The two sides haven’t spoken to each other since.