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UFOs likely just billionaires from other planets, Pentagon reports
Unidentified Flying Objects spotted hovering around Earth are most likely just billionaires from other planets, according to a Pentagon report.
Top Pentagon officials believe that most UFOs that are seen in the skies are billionaire aliens who are enjoying a bit of space tourism.“This is an issue we’ve been investigating at the Pentagon for decades. Some instances are weather balloons or swamp gas but that still left many UFO sightings unexplained. In light of recent events though, we’ve concluded that flying saucers are most likely ultra-rich aliens flexing their wealth with a bit of space tourism.
“They come over from whatever planet they’ve been systemically abusing to watch our billionaires and the primitive way they’re raping Earth. We don’t believe that the billionaire aliens are any more threat than the billionaires on Earth – they’re probably significantly more benign to us,” our source in the Pentagon told us.
If you spot a UFO, the Pentagon advises that you give it lots of attention and shout something like, “SPACE TAXES ARE BULLSHIT!” to appease the alien billionaires. This will help people avoid any unwanted probing.
