Translations

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

'I'm not racist but...' and other gammon phrases explained​

Are you struggling to understand what puce-faced patriots are jabbering on about?

Clear up the confusion with these translations of popular gammon phrases.

‘I’m not racist but…’
This means someone is about to perform a conversational handbrake turn from not saying racist things to actually saying racist things. It’s probably your duty to challenge them, but this will lead to a baffling explanation of why they’re not racist, eg. “I always liked Daley Thompson.”

‘I self-identify as a helicopter’
Gammon humour about transgender issues. If they use this tired joke in front of like-minded friends you won’t be able to get a word in edgeways because they’ll have collapsed in gales of laughter. On the off-chance they genuinely do think they’re a bladed flying machine, call mental health services.

‘Why aren’t there All Lives Matter protests?’
This means that the speaker has failed to grasp the message of Black Lives Matter in any way, usually on purpose. Even if you calmly explain to them that no one’s saying their gammony lives don’t matter, they’ll just bang on about racism against white people, like that’s a thing.

‘It’s elf ‘n’ safety gone mad’
In a gammon’s ideal world snowflake millennials would be toiling away without any protective gear like Empire State Building construction workers. This phrase, a favourite of King of the Gammons Richard Littlejohn, invariably refers to some entirely fictitious event, eg. EU regulations ordering that hamsters take ‘rehydration breaks’ from running round their wheel.

‘Leave means leave’
Despite being repeatedly barked on TV debates and across the dinner table during Sunday roasts, nobody’s entirely sure what this means. The closest that linguists have got to a full translation is “I cannot admit I was wrong and I am actually pooing my pants now”.

via ~ DailyKarenSnowflakes

 

[SamBally]

Did you see what the islamophobic turnip wrote last night?

Apparently, it is "anti-British" to correct bad science with good science. To provide scientific evidence supported by a peer-reviewed two-year Home Office study that found no evidence at all that peadophilia is a "cultural" phenomenon specific to the Islamic faith.

Of course, we don't describe catholicism in the same context despite the best efforts of a minority of priests.

No more than we describe all British men, of all ethnicities, peadophiles solely because of the actions of a tiny minority.

Then the turnip added that I was not welcome here which is of course the internet version of "go back to where you came from".

This is extremely upsetting because I was born in England.

Can I be sent to Wales, please?

 

[hell2bwith76]

Then the turnip added that I was not welcome here which is of course the internet version of "go back to where you came from".

Who is the Turnip ? and i think thats awful if they said that to you .

 

[SamBally]

Who is the Turnip ? and i think thats awful if they said that to you .

The very same turnip who also typed, "Go and spout you anti-British BS elsewhere fella."

If a single 'normal' person can provide evidence I am "anti-British", for bravely challenging his spew of Islamophobia, then I give my word as an honorable English person I will NEVER type on this site again.

It's very upsetting, I cried for two hours solid, although I would still argue it is in fact VERY British to challenge Islamophobia wherever it rears its ugly head.

Exactly the same turnip who believes he can dictate what or what isn't discussed on a site he doesn't own, where he holds no position of responsibility, and where he is an absolutely unimportant nobody.

 

[Altair]

The very same turnip who also typed, "Go and spout you anti-British BS elsewhere fella."

If a single 'normal' person can provide evidence I am "anti-British", for bravely challenging his spew of Islamophobia, then I give my word as an honorable English person I will NEVER type on this site again.

It's very upsetting, I cried for two hours solid, although I would still argue it is in fact VERY British to challenge Islamophobia wherever it rears its ugly head.

Exactly the same turnip who believes he can dictate what or what isn't discussed on a site he doesn't own, where he holds no position of responsibility, and where he is an absolutely unimportant nobody.

What comes out of Your mouth is Vitriol CRAP. Nothing to do with the Community Spirit here.

I'd leave NOW if I were you... before you are Forcibly removed.

 

[Altair]

“Scientific evidence”?? Now that’s some funny sh**.

This is Not funny...But Good Stuff.

 

[Altair]

“Scientific evidence”?? Now that’s some funny sh**.

To someone like You. Pay your share.

You Never do though.

 

[hell2bwith76]

I'd leave NOW if I were you... before you are Forcibly removed.

Are you talking about the Turnip ? If so i agree about leaving .Don`t think "forcibly" is apt though.

 

[hell2bwith76]

“Scientific evidence”?? Now that’s some funny sh**.

A ‘Home Office Study’??? That’s like the government marking its own homework. And how come SammyBoy suddenly trusts this government? He has poured scorn on them at every opportunity, constantly tried to ridicule them, yet now he believes everything they say about “Islamophobia”?

Get a grip, SammyBoy.

Boris changes the Laws and Rules every time it becomes obvious that he`s tried to pull a fast one .

 

[hell2bwith76]

Get a grip, SammyBoy.

What does the Conspiracy Set have to say about Racism ?.