Top tip of the day.

[Kev45]

I am on a low-carb diet, since I gave up drinking and smoking a decade ago, my one vice is a sweet ice lolly after a meal. The problem is they are laden with hidden sugar/s, and which soon adds up if you are scoffing two or three a day. My solution to this complex situation and after a lot of trial and error is Slush Puppy, The Original Squeezee.

They are extremely tasty and although designed for children are large enough for an adult to enjoy, with a satisfying crunch and only 1.4g of carbs and 1g sugar (5kcal) each lolly.

Happy lollying guys xXx

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[Kev45]

The dull side of nonstick foil is the side that has the nonstick coating on.

Happy foiling guys.

 

[Kev45]

If the vision isn't as clear as it once was, invest in a head torch. So useful for reading small print on jars etc, and searching dark sheds/cupboards keeping both hands free. The modern ones are so light you actually forget that they are on your head, just remember to take it off if the postman knocks.

Happy head torching guys

 

[Kev45]

Invest in a cordless stick vacuum (Shark, etc). As battery technology improves, the weight has decreased, and they are so damn useful around the house. Detached from the stick, they make light work of stairs etc and are nearly as powerful as a regular vacuum. They also fold in half, so can be put away easily in a convenient spot.

We got one simply because we have dogs who like to gnaw their treats on the same rug in the living room, and it is a pain in the arse getting the corded out each time to hoover up all the drooly leftover bits.

The quality of vacuums is so good nowadays that I tend to buy goods like this second hand, simply because they are a lot cheaper and batteries are easily replaced if they become faulty or reach the end of their lifespan.

Happy hoovering guys xXx

 

[Kev45]

Preferably, the lady of the house will assemble IKEA (or any other) flat pack furniture. Methodically, and carefully following the assembly instructions, and when the assembled item will look just like it does in the showroom.

A man won't read the instructions, under any circumstances, the left side of the TV cabinet will end up where the right should be, it will be all wonky, and the assembled item will be either 3 bolts/screws/parts short, or have 3 extra bolts/screws/parts spare when there should be none.


Happy IKEAing guys

 

[Not_Fred_Honest]

If Kev asks you too look after this dog, don't use it to make curry for dinner. He wont eat it, sulk and cry for rest of the night

 

[Kev45]

Plop a teabag in the toe end of each trainer after a hard session at the gym/walking the dog/yoga. This will remove moisture, deodorize and remove odour and is far cheaper than using the washing machine. If you feel adventurous, use a flavoured teabag and don't forget to take the bag out the next day, or you will end up finding loose tea leaves all over your house for the next month.

Happy teabagging guys

 

[Missy]

Don't treat people as bad as they are,
Treat people as good a you are xx
Thank me later xxx

 

[Missy]

Put the lid on the pot to make your water boil faster.

 

[Missy]

Cool your food before putting it in the fridge or freezer.

 

[Kev45]

You can shear a sheep a 1,000 times, but you can only eat it once.

Happy shearing guys

 

[Not_Fred_Honest]

If you cant find your watch, Kev's pawn it

 

[Kev45]

Pamper yourself today with something you enjoy, no matter how small or whatever it is.

I enjoy eating, my New Year's resolution last year was to try something new to eat at least once a month, it was so enjoyable I am doing it this year as well.

Happy eating guys

 

[Not_Fred_Honest]

If you wake up at 4am and Kev's not there, look outside and see if he's sleeping on next doors lawn again

 

[Kev45]

If a friend uses the word "hack" to describe something basic like a recipe or a more efficient way for doing a simple task, roll up your newspaper as tightly as you can and strike them sharply on the top of the head five times.

Each time you strike them, say "this recipe was handed down 5 generations ago by my great-great-grandmother, you tool!"

You will immediately feel much better and your friend will have learned a valuable lesson.

Happy newspapering guys

 

[Kev45]

Even if you get on well with your neighbours, and I do, there will be times occasionally when they really, really annoy you.

My elderly neighbour once rang in the early hours, waking both myself and my partner. Panicking because her HUMAX had apparently gone all wonky (I'd sold it to her). When I walked in, rubbing sleep from my eyes, her 52-year-old gormless son was sat there pissed as a newt with a face like a slapped arse. Muttering to himself, protesting loudly that he knew how to fix it, while drunkenly shoving a chicken kebab in the general direction of his open mouth.

Now I was none too pleased about this as you can imagine, and I had an early start, but I didn't react, and I patiently sorted out the problem (simple 2 minute fix) and left after sharing brief pleasantries.

A few days later, I calmly told my neighbour she had woken us both up, that we had an early start, her son should have sorted it, and please do not ring us up at that time again (except in a real emergency). You have to lay down healthy boundaries in these kinds of situations. In the same token, you do not want to fall out with a close neighbour you get on with simply because her son is a drunken, red-faced bloated blob.


Happy neighbouring guys

 

[Kev45]

If you accidentally close a browser window, Ctrl + Shift + T will immediately reopen it.

Happy tabbing guys

 

[Kev45]

You might be unaware, but if you have any major issues and are being passed from pillar to post without getting your issue resolved, then don't be afraid or intimidated to email your local MP for advice or help.

Their email address is readily available online, and just make it clear that you are a local constituent. Keep it as brief as you can and just stick to the available facts regarding your issue.

Their caseworkers will usually bypass junior staff and directly contact more senior managers or staff within that organisation (or business etc) on your behalf and these kinds of issues will then often magically, hey presto, get resolved.

I don't want to come across as patronising, but that is exactly what your MP is there for, and you are more than entitled to do this as a local constituent.

Happy MPing guys

 

[Kev45]

If you have artificial grass, and pets that regularly do their business on it, invest in the disinfectant that is used in your local vet, catteries and dog kennels. This will kill bacteria etc remove odour and keep your grass fragrant, and of course it will not harm your furry friends in any way.

You can buy these online in five litre bottles (or larger 25 litre) and just pour a small amount (use a kitchen funnel) in a large spray bottle and then dilute it with water. These products can also be used safely on dog bowls, toys etc and all over the house. I bulk buy 20 litres for £18 (inc delivery) and one 5 litre bottle lasts up to 2–3 months or longer (a quick spray every day) and which more than pays for itself over time.

Happy disinfecting guys

 

[Kev45]

Oh, and don't waste your money buying overpriced stuffed dog toys that they will be nibbling the stuffing out off before you have even sat down.

Only buy unstuffed toys.

Happy hoovering up dog toy stuffing guys