SamBally
Dance with me until the sun rises!
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- Apr 13, 2021
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DO you know an annoying couple whose awfulness is compounded by the fact that there are two of them? Here are five unbearable duos you hate running into:
The outdoorsy types.
These two are always off bouldering or running half marathons and their entire personalities are based around being smug about it. Part of you hopes their next white water rafting trip ends in tragedy, especially as they’re both so physically fit that their sex life must be far more athletic and satisfying than yours.
The DIY couple.
Despite growing up in 21st-century Britain, these pair refuse to pander to the convention of paying someone else to do anything that requires more practical skill than changing a light bulb. They grow their own vegetables, sew their own clothes, and installed their own septic tank. They’re so self-sufficient that they only need to work part-time, which you definitely aren’t jealous about at all.
The couple who always row.
Love doesn’t last forever, but these two have never got on. Whether she’s telling him he’s a boring prick or he’s telling her she’s had too many glasses of rosé, there’s always a fight brewing and they’re always the centre of attention. But they’re worth inviting to dinner parties to make yourself feel marginally better about being single.
The wealthy pricks.
Part of adulthood is coming to terms with the fact that some of your friends made better life choices than you, and are now business lawyers married to civil servants with enormous double incomes. While you were fannying around trying to be a conceptual artist after university, they were buying up a portfolio of rental properties. And yet you still always end up splitting the bill 50/50.
The genuinely happy couple.
Next to this pair, your marriage is a joke. Always happy, never complaining, clearly deeply in love, they’d be inspirational if they didn’t want to make you vomit. However, you’re playing the long game as it will be worth putting up with their infuriating happiness when you get to witness the crushing disappointment as the honeymoon period finally and inevitably ends.
The outdoorsy types.
These two are always off bouldering or running half marathons and their entire personalities are based around being smug about it. Part of you hopes their next white water rafting trip ends in tragedy, especially as they’re both so physically fit that their sex life must be far more athletic and satisfying than yours.
The DIY couple.
Despite growing up in 21st-century Britain, these pair refuse to pander to the convention of paying someone else to do anything that requires more practical skill than changing a light bulb. They grow their own vegetables, sew their own clothes, and installed their own septic tank. They’re so self-sufficient that they only need to work part-time, which you definitely aren’t jealous about at all.
The couple who always row.
Love doesn’t last forever, but these two have never got on. Whether she’s telling him he’s a boring prick or he’s telling her she’s had too many glasses of rosé, there’s always a fight brewing and they’re always the centre of attention. But they’re worth inviting to dinner parties to make yourself feel marginally better about being single.
The wealthy pricks.
Part of adulthood is coming to terms with the fact that some of your friends made better life choices than you, and are now business lawyers married to civil servants with enormous double incomes. While you were fannying around trying to be a conceptual artist after university, they were buying up a portfolio of rental properties. And yet you still always end up splitting the bill 50/50.
The genuinely happy couple.
Next to this pair, your marriage is a joke. Always happy, never complaining, clearly deeply in love, they’d be inspirational if they didn’t want to make you vomit. However, you’re playing the long game as it will be worth putting up with their infuriating happiness when you get to witness the crushing disappointment as the honeymoon period finally and inevitably ends.