Spotting predatory DJs

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

If only there were a precedent for spotting predatory DJs, says BBC​

Tim Westwood’s alleged misconduct might have been prevented if there were another big name predatory DJ the BBC could have learned from, the broadcaster has said.

The BBC has stated it is ashamed and disgusted that it might have let a prominent DJ get away with claimed sexual misconduct, and wishes there was some sort of famous case study it could refer to.

A spokesperson said: “Tim Westwood was a popular presenter with a unique, larger-than-life style. As far as knowing how to handle this situation, we’re in uncharted waters.

“He made people’s dreams come true in his TV show where he converted sh** cars into even shitter cars, and rumours about his behaviour have been swirling around for decades. Fortunately celebrities never misuse the glamour of the music scene. It’s just unheard of.

“Perhaps the best thing to do is to get Louis Theroux to produce a documentary which humanises him. He could visit Westwood in his home and get an insight into his everyday life. I know, it’s a crazy idea, but I’m just brainstorming here.

“Or maybe we could wait until he dies before we start taking these allegations seriously. We’ll have a long wait and it’s not a perfect solution, but hopefully it’ll ensure this sort of thing never happens again.”

via ~DailyRepeat

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Tim Westwood to stop talking like a black teenager in case it harms his defence​

Former bad ass DJ Tim Westwood has stunned his legal team by discussing his impending case with a cut-glass accent and received pronunciation this morning.

Tim has been accused of sexual misconduct by a number of women who have since switched to Radio 2, and is taking steps to prepare his defence.

Tim, a 64 year-old white man from Lowestoft, has built his career on sounding like a black teenager from south London, but insists he doesn’t want to be treated like one by the authorities.

Tim, who now insists on being called “Timothy”, would like to be treated by police like the semi-retired white vicar’s son from the seaside that he is.

Although he initially greeted attending police officers with a robust “Wagwaan,” Westwood is said to have later moderated his accent as the seriousness of the allegations became clear and ended the tape-recorded interview using received pronunciation.

The champion of hip hop was also quick to point out who his father was and maintains he has always ticked the “White British” box when completing census forms, which he does on-time, and to the letter.

Westwood’s case is said to have confused officials who having listened to his show turned up expecting to arrest a black man and were appropriately kitted out with the regulation tasers, tear gas and several rounds of ammo.

Questioning Officer, DC Simon Williams, said, “We take allegations of sexual assault very seriously – unless it’s one of our own, obviously – but I must say as a regular listener to Tim, sorry Timothy’s program, this all seems totally out of character.

“I came here today fully expecting to say stuff like ‘you’ll get twenty years for this you black bastard’, but Timothy comes across as a nice boy from a decent home, so let’s not jump to any premature conclusions shall we?

“I’m sure we’ll have this little misunderstanding cleared up in no time.”

Responding to the accusations, Westwood added, “Mandem earn some serious Ps an ting from dis bullshit innit.

“Ah, I’m so terribly terribly sorry old chap – that’s just for the listeners.”

via ~ DailyBlackfishing