TwoWhalesInAPool
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DID you start a lockdown relationship, but now it’s freedom time? Here’s how to let them know as painlessly as a ping from the app:
Ghost
Needs the right circumstances – if you’ve moved in together then not answering texts only goes so far – but if the domestic situation suits and you’re amoral scum, go ahead. You’ve got your jabs and you want to be exposed to Covid risks with other people.
Put it into perspective
With all that happened and such huge worldwide losses, what’s one little relationship? Even if it was love and you borrowed five grand? Nothing. And how better to move on than still being alive? If your soon-to-be-ex disagrees, you feel sorry for them.
‘We were all under a lot of pressure’
It’s a fact that people in intense or stressful situations become attracted to each other, like doctors and nurses or soldiers and other soldiers. So these weasel words might extricate you from the relationship without getting your clothes hurled onto the street while you’re called cheating scum, possibly.
What happens in lockdown…
Imply that three lockdowns over 18 months was like a weekend in Vegas from which both partners emerge smiling and attachment-free. Not a long national nightmare in which you clung desperately to each other with grand promises of what you’d do when it was over.
Prioritise self-care
This great Guardian notion means you can do anything you want to because otherwise you might feel bad, and that’s toxic. Stare into coffee while saying: ‘Things felt right but I’m worried we’ve drifted and I need to put myself first and that’s kinder to you?’ while joining Tinder.
Think twice
Another wave of Covid is inevitable and you might not have time to find a new shag before the imminent lockdown. Temporarily shelve your dumping strategy and put up with your partner finding Doc Martin repeats hilarious if you want another shag this decade.
www.thedailymash.co.uk
Ghost
Needs the right circumstances – if you’ve moved in together then not answering texts only goes so far – but if the domestic situation suits and you’re amoral scum, go ahead. You’ve got your jabs and you want to be exposed to Covid risks with other people.
Put it into perspective
With all that happened and such huge worldwide losses, what’s one little relationship? Even if it was love and you borrowed five grand? Nothing. And how better to move on than still being alive? If your soon-to-be-ex disagrees, you feel sorry for them.
‘We were all under a lot of pressure’
It’s a fact that people in intense or stressful situations become attracted to each other, like doctors and nurses or soldiers and other soldiers. So these weasel words might extricate you from the relationship without getting your clothes hurled onto the street while you’re called cheating scum, possibly.
What happens in lockdown…
Imply that three lockdowns over 18 months was like a weekend in Vegas from which both partners emerge smiling and attachment-free. Not a long national nightmare in which you clung desperately to each other with grand promises of what you’d do when it was over.
Prioritise self-care
This great Guardian notion means you can do anything you want to because otherwise you might feel bad, and that’s toxic. Stare into coffee while saying: ‘Things felt right but I’m worried we’ve drifted and I need to put myself first and that’s kinder to you?’ while joining Tinder.
Think twice
Another wave of Covid is inevitable and you might not have time to find a new shag before the imminent lockdown. Temporarily shelve your dumping strategy and put up with your partner finding Doc Martin repeats hilarious if you want another shag this decade.
Six easy ways to dump your lockdown hookup
DID you start a lockdown relationship, but now it’s freedom time? Here’s how to let them know as painlessly as a ping from the app.
www.thedailymash.co.uk