Sir Keir Starmer to defect to the Conservatives after becoming disillusioned with his own leadership.

[SamBally]

One of three possible Labour defections to the Tories is rumoured to be party activist Sir Keir Starmer, it has emerged.


After two years marred by infighting, hecklers and his own jokes, sources close to the former lawyer claim he is disillusioned with the Labour movement and the direction he is taking it.

Starmer used his first party conference to set out a clear message to voters in his self-penned 78-page pamphlet entitled, "Democratic Progressivism: Reshaping the Neo-Liberal Consensus in a Post-Pandemic Marketplace."

However, rows broke out over one-member-one-vote, the role of the NEC and Luciana Berger’s access to the finger buffet. Labour insider and Starmer pal, Simon Williams, said, "Smashing the left-wing, waving the Union Jack and fucking over those on the minimum wage are all things Sir Keir feels could achieve more easily under the Conservatives. In switching allegiances like this, Sir Keir is merely leaving behind a party that sees no racism for one that sees absolutely no problem with it."

Williams added, "For him, politics has always been about helping hardworking families. And Boris Johnson has six of them."

 

[SamBally]

Prince Andrew loses military titles and patronages.​

The Duke of York's military titles and royal patronages have been returned to the Queen, Buckingham Palace has announced.


Prince Andrew will also stop using the style His Royal Highness in an official capacity, a royal source added.

 

[Saphire]

I wonder how much he will still receive in payouts for doing sod all.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Prince Andrew to lose all titles except possibly “nonce”​

Prince Andrew is to lose all his patronages and military titles.

The Pizza Express loyalty card holder and sometimes member of the royal family is having an absolute mare of a new year, after a judge decided it was okay to have a look at his alleged noncing after all.

But now the Prince – henceforth known as Handy Andy – will lose all of his royal titles.

“Except nonce, possibly,” suggested Royal Correspondent, Simon Williams, who knows NOTHING about ANYTHING and just guesses things while repeating other things from history books, just like every other Royal Correspondent ever.

“I don’t know how I will address Prince Andrew from now on, hopefully not as ‘nonce’ as that seems quite mean, even IF it turns out to be accurate, and I cannot stress the word “if” enough, and I’d also like to throw in an ‘allegedly’ for good measure.

“Once again, I Simon Williams, cannot stress enough how much all of this is alleged, that this is a joke, that I do not even exist, and the new title of ‘nonce’ is only a possibility, not something we are claiming as fact,” (thanks, the lawyer has stopped shouting now – Ed).

Royal Family fan, Hayley Rice, said, “Andrew was never one of my faves anyway.

“He’s not sexy like William used to be, or funny like Princess Anne.

“When I found out he liked pizza, that was the nicest thing about him, but the things he said immediately afterwards put me off him all over again.

“Still love pizza though.”

via ~ DailyFuckedUp

This has aged well (1980s)

 

[SamBally]

End of April last year. In a mirror image of Tory tactics now, Starmer’s office at the time claimed that the event was a work gathering.

Lockdown rules at the time forbade indoor gatherings, indeed even outdoor gatherings had only become lawful a couple of weeks earlier and even those were still subject to the ‘rule of six’, as the government’s website documenting historical lockdown measures confirms.

Keir was in the workplace, meeting a local MP in her constituency office and participating in an online Labour Party event. They paused for dinner as the meeting was during the evening.

In Durham, ironically. Boris is a lying rat, Sir Keir really isn't all that much different. The video isn't YouTube so can't post, it is 100% the knight of the realm.

 

[Saphire]

What do they say about people in glass houses??

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

The bigger they think they are the harder they fall!

 

[LadyOnArooftop]

I wonder how much he will still receive in payouts for doing sod all.

He's just sold his Swiss chalet for £17 million, so he's not short of a few bob. What I'd like to know is how he acquired these properties in the first
place.

 

[Saphire]

He's just sold his Swiss chalet for £17 million, so he's not short of a few bob. What I'd like to know is how he acquired these properties in the first
place.

Not through hard graft, that's for sure.