Should we be encouraged to joke more about our mental health issues?

[HappyNutz]

Jimmy Carr once said 'If laughter is the best medicine, then we should all spend more time laughing at disabled people.'
Now I know his jokes are dark, but a lot of people like that sort of humour. He does always make it clear at the start of his gigs that he's there as a performer and to entertain people only, and he doesn't mean any offence by the things he says - they are just jokes (I will add that the last time I saw him live there were several visually disabled people in the audience and none of them seemed to mind this joke).
Love it or hate it, I kind of think he has a point - kind of...

You see I'm not disabled, but I have been suffering with some pretty nasty mental health issues recently. Its not fun and I'm not saying it shouldn't be taken seriously - from a medical and treatment standpoint it absolutely should - but at the same time I think there could potentially be some sort of middle ground established. You see, one of the biggest problems I have at the moment is the stigma I'm facing (be it a real one or an imagined one), where I feel like I'm a complete lepper or something just because my brain doesn't do what its supposed to. I'm worried about the stigma associated with mental health issues is going to affect my whole life - family, friends, career prospects, blah blah. Its a crushing fear that is only adding to my problems and, with the general consensus being that my life will never be the same again unless I find the right medications, treatments, behavioural therapies etc, it makes getting by each day that much more harrowing and difficult. There's so much pressure on being 'normal' I can scarcely stand it. It makes a difficult situation unbearable.
My life at the moment is a humourless pit of scorched earth and I desperately need that to change. Being a Brit, my natural reaction was to mock myself for suffering with my condition, however that drew a massive amount of criticism and ultimately another unfathomable amount of stress (I could have lost my job over it - but luckily was shown some leniency).

All I want is to not feel like I'm not too broken, that there is still hope, and maybe laugh once in a while again. If someone slips over drunk and breaks their leg, they are allowed to insult themselves over their own foolishness as much as they want. Why can't I do the same? You see, if I could make fun out of my condition, then maybe it wouldn't feel as serious and life destroying. Maybe if I didn't have to treat my own mental battle like a personal WW3 then there would be less pressure on 'returning to normality'. Perhaps, just perhaps, this would prevent the inevitable mood spirals whenever I experience a setback, or a medication doesn't have the desired result. Maybe I'd be able to set myself right that little bit quicker?

I'm not saying people should openly mock anyone who isn't normal, but if an individual chooses to make light of their own circumstances as a way to ease their pain then why should that be considered a cancellable offence? And if their friends, family and colleagues want to join in, then why stop them? Why make people feel worse when they so desperately need to feel better?

 

[LadyOnArooftop]

I'm so sorry you're in a bad place at the moment. I've suffered from depression all my life, I feel alone even when i'm with someone, so I can empathise a little with you, but I know that feeling depressed is a far cry from mental illness... And yes, keep the humour, smile and the world smiles with you, as they say. I hope you can work things out.

 

[Raining_Roses]

I’m sorry you are struggling right now and as well as give you a big hug, I want to assure you that you are not alone and believe it or not, you are ‘normal’. You’re only human, just like 100% of the population, and you are prone to malfunctions in your hardware occasionally! The pressure on being ‘normal’ comes from within and most often, the biggest judgemental tw@t telling us we’re not ‘normal’ is us- we are our biggest critique.

The stigma about mental health problems is still alive and well, as you’ve found, and that in some ways answers your questions about humour directed towards it. There’s no reason why we shouldn’t laugh at ourselves- it normalises the problem- makes it more relatable to others. But when others see it as referring to them, that’s where the offence comes in and that’s why it’s still deemed a touchy subject.

There is also the angle that joking about your own faults is self-deprecating and that’s uncomfortable for others to hear. There are limited response options: to laugh with taking the p!ss out of you, consciously miss the joke and move on, or disagree with it. It’s awkward, because it’s too personal, unless it’s with a friend you have that kind of banter with.

Psychologically, it demonstrates a low self-esteem. You are putting your quirks out there for others to mock you, validating your already negative thoughts about yourself. In some ways, it’s an echo of the negative internal dialogue that is part of the fuel for your mental health issues. It’s one thing to voice that internal dialogue and normalise it with humour around those you are personally comfortable with, but another when you are doing it around colleagues or people who are not part of your personal circle. To others who don’t have a personal relationship with you, everything you say about yourself builds up a view of you for them and you are subconsciously building up a negative view of you to validate your own negative view.

As someone who has lived with depression since adolescence, no one can say anything worse to me than I’ve already repeated a million times myself and no one can laugh harder than me at myself in the mirror every day, so other’s slaps don’t sting anymore. I’m far too old to take anyone else’s view of me to heart (or head)! I’ll take the p!ss out of myself before others do and I like self-deprecating humour, but like others I feel awkward when others do it to themselves. I don’t know how to react. When I do it, my ideal response would be some form of banter, but not everyone is comfortable with that kind of communication.

One thing before I end this essay….“All I want is to not feel like I'm not too broken, that there is still hope, and maybe laugh once in a while again.”

You are not broken. You never were and never can be. You were always pieces, built up into one beautiful, wonderous human being. You are pieces of your ancestry and their experiences; pieces of every experience, sensation and emotion since the day you were born and from the time in the womb. You are pieces of every person that made an impression on you, whether through love, hate or indifference. You are hundreds- if not thousands- of pieces of the world around. There are two certainties in life- change and death. The situation you are in is not permanent and you will laugh again, because change is certain.

In the meantime, if you have any inappropriate mental health jokes, see if you can get them past the moderators on here

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Whoever stole my anti-depressants, I hope you're happy!

 

[Moriarty]

Simple answer.
Yes.
More complex answer.
Yes.
Everyone is flawed, everyone has problems, everyone thinks theres something wrong with them.
It's a first world problem.
Try wondering if your complex personality is detrimental to your existance when you have to walk a mile or so each morning to get fresh water.
Once you have the pleasure of not looking at simply surviving as a day to day need, one can look at oneself and wonder "why I dont feel good about myself."

If you have the time to reflect on how you feel, your better off than 80% of the planet who dont.

Yes there are people in the West who have suffered real trauma, yes there is barbarism in our so called civilised societies which bring pain to many.
However, to really understand trauma one has to see it, live it.

Whats the difference between a young girl who is repeatly abused by a parent living in a high class part of London in the UK or one that is repeatedly gang raped in a wooden hut by her entire family in Africa?

Nothing?

Mental health is contextual, what one deems as trauma in one circumstance is nothing compared to another.

I had a friend who was in the Army Medical Corps, decorated veteren, worked in may combat zones during his career.
He eventually left by going AWOL, took his rifle with him, kept it in his bed at night.
He was discharged from the army after almost reaching his 22 years.

Why did he "Desert", he could no longer cope with counting the bodies of dead children.

He could patch up sqaudies, no problem, they signed up for it, he could treat enemy combatants, they could be a source of intel.
He could not however carry on seeing the children that had been killed in the name of fighting terrorism.

Now is his pain more than someone who while in hospital wakes up in the middle of the night wondering why loved ones abused them physically, emotionally or sexually?

I have no idea, because those situations are serious trauma and should be treated as such.

However, mental illness is a lot more than that, it can also be people simply not feeling good about themselves.

Those people, those conditions, humour is something to be used.

If you feel bad because of something that isn't real trauma, isn't something that warrents real empathy because of its terrible nature.
Then one should find humour in it, as it's not really that important, just a fad which can be changed with a little help and a re-think.

 

[Aqua1]

Jimmy Carr once said 'If laughter is the best medicine, then we should all spend more time laughing at disabled people.'
Now I know his jokes are dark, but a lot of people like that sort of humour. He does always make it clear at the start of his gigs that he's there as a performer and to entertain people only, and he doesn't mean any offence by the things he says - they are just jokes (I will add that the last time I saw him live there were several visually disabled people in the audience and none of them seemed to mind this joke).
Love it or hate it, I kind of think he has a point - kind of...

You see I'm not disabled, but I have been suffering with some pretty nasty mental health issues recently. Its not fun and I'm not saying it shouldn't be taken seriously - from a medical and treatment standpoint it absolutely should - but at the same time I think there could potentially be some sort of middle ground established. You see, one of the biggest problems I have at the moment is the stigma I'm facing (be it a real one or an imagined one), where I feel like I'm a complete lepper or something just because my brain doesn't do what its supposed to. I'm worried about the stigma associated with mental health issues is going to affect my whole life - family, friends, career prospects, blah blah. Its a crushing fear that is only adding to my problems and, with the general consensus being that my life will never be the same again unless I find the right medications, treatments, behavioural therapies etc, it makes getting by each day that much more harrowing and difficult. There's so much pressure on being 'normal' I can scarcely stand it. It makes a difficult situation unbearable.
My life at the moment is a humourless pit of scorched earth and I desperately need that to change. Being a Brit, my natural reaction was to mock myself for suffering with my condition, however that drew a massive amount of criticism and ultimately another unfathomable amount of stress (I could have lost my job over it - but luckily was shown some leniency).

All I want is to not feel like I'm not too broken, that there is still hope, and maybe laugh once in a while again. If someone slips over drunk and breaks their leg, they are allowed to insult themselves over their own foolishness as much as they want. Why can't I do the same? You see, if I could make fun out of my condition, then maybe it wouldn't feel as serious and life destroying. Maybe if I didn't have to treat my own mental battle like a personal WW3 then there would be less pressure on 'returning to normality'. Perhaps, just perhaps, this would prevent the inevitable mood spirals whenever I experience a setback, or a medication doesn't have the desired result. Maybe I'd be able to set myself right that little bit quicker?

I'm not saying people should openly mock anyone who isn't normal, but if an individual chooses to make light of their own circumstances as a way to ease their pain then why should that be considered a cancellable offence? And if their friends, family and colleagues want to join in, then why stop them? Why make people feel worse when they so desperately need to feel better?

 

[Altair]

Simple answer.
Yes.
More complex answer.
Yes.
Everyone is flawed, everyone has problems, everyone thinks theres something wrong with them.
It's a first world problem.
Try wondering if your complex personality is detrimental to your existance when you have to walk a mile or so each morning to get fresh water.
Once you have the pleasure of not looking at simply surviving as a day to day need, one can look at oneself and wonder "why I dont feel good about myself."

If you have the time to reflect on how you feel, your better off than 80% of the planet who dont.

Yes there are people in the West who have suffered real trauma, yes there is barbarism in our so called civilised societies which bring pain to many.
However, to really understand trauma one has to see it, live it.

Whats the difference between a young girl who is repeatly abused by a parent living in a high class part of London in the UK or one that is repeatedly gang raped in a wooden hut by her entire family in Africa?

Nothing?

Mental health is contextual, what one deems as trauma in one circumstance is nothing compared to another.

I had a friend who was in the Army Medical Corps, decorated veteren, worked in may combat zones during his career.
He eventually left by going AWOL, took his rifle with him, kept it in his bed at night.
He was discharged from the army after almost reaching his 22 years.

Why did he "Desert", he could no longer cope with counting the bodies of dead children.

He could patch up sqaudies, no problem, they signed up for it, he could treat enemy combatants, they could be a source of intel.
He could not however carry on seeing the children that had been killed in the name of fighting terrorism.

Now is his pain more than someone who while in hospital wakes up in the middle of the night wondering why loved ones abused them physically, emotionally or sexually?

I have no idea, because those situations are serious trauma and should be treated as such.

However, mental illness is a lot more than that, it can also be people simply not feeling good about themselves.

Those people, those conditions, humour is something to be used.

If you feel bad because of something that isn't real trauma, isn't something that warrents real empathy because of its terrible nature.
Then one should find humour in it, as it's not really that important, just a fad which can be changed with a little help and a re-think.

I'm Ex army. I wont go into details here.

There is NO way anyone... I REPEAT ANYONE... can leave the Army and take their Rifle WITH THEM and keep it in their bed at night.

I like some of your posts but this is made up mumbo jumbo. You have an active mind I'll give you that. Nothing more.

 

[Moriarty]

I'm Ex army. I wont go into details here.

There is NO way anyone... I REPEAT ANYONE... can leave the Army and take their Rifle WITH THEM and keep it in their bed at night.

I like some of your posts but this is made up mumbo jumbo. You have an active mind I'll give you that. Nothing more.

"Campaigners have warned that almost a dozen guns and more than 1000 bullets lost or stolen from Ministry of Defence bases could be used to commit crime.

It comes after a Freedom of Information request made by Sky News revealed that 11 rifles, 42 "explosive munitions" and 1,153 rounds of ammunition have gone missing in the last year."

That was from a SKY news article in 2019.

Did I also not say he went AWOL with his weapon.

Do you really think someone couldn't break down an SA80 and store it in a backpack whilst on a training exercise?
Especially if they had a car waiting to get into.