Sad and unhappy lives

[LadyOnArooftop]

My first memories of 'life' were in the womb, I remember it well, little did I know they were going to be the best days of my life.
I am born
No private bupa hospital for my birth, our mam gave birth to me holding on to two branches. Yes, we were living in a tree at the time. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea. A cup of cold tea, without milk or sugar, OR tea! In a filthy, cracked cup if we were lucky. Most times we never had a cup, we used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper. Sometimes the best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth. But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor. At one time we were living in one room, sixteen of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing. We were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling!
Then we lived for two years in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of mouldy bread, go to work down coal mine for eighteen hours a day. When we got home, our dad (a Yorkshireman) would thrash us to sleep with his pipe, and we were grateful for it!
Then I discovered online forums, and suddenly life was worth living. I'll never be sad or lonely ever again.

 

[Nikita]

My first memories of 'life' were in the womb, I remember it well, little did I know they were going to be the best days of my life.
I am born
No private bupa hospital for my birth, our mam gave birth to me holding on to two branches. Yes, we were living in a tree at the time. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea. A cup of cold tea, without milk or sugar, OR tea! In a filthy, cracked cup if we were lucky. Most times we never had a cup, we used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper. Sometimes the best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth. But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor. At one time we were living in one room, sixteen of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing. We were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling!
Then we lived for two years in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of mouldy bread, go to work down coal mine for eighteen hours a day. When we got home, our dad (a Yorkshireman) would thrash us to sleep with his pipe, and we were grateful for it!
Then I discovered online forums, and suddenly life was worth living. I'll never be sad or lonely ever again.

LOL you're funny LadyOnArooftoop, Long live the forums

 

[Brass]

we used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.

You had newspaper?

 

[WickedPerdition]

My first memories of 'life' were in the womb, I remember it well, little did I know they were going to be the best days of my life.
I am born
No private bupa hospital for my birth, our mam gave birth to me holding on to two branches. Yes, we were living in a tree at the time. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea. A cup of cold tea, without milk or sugar, OR tea! In a filthy, cracked cup if we were lucky. Most times we never had a cup, we used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper. Sometimes the best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth. But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor. At one time we were living in one room, sixteen of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing. We were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling!
Then we lived for two years in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of mouldy bread, go to work down coal mine for eighteen hours a day. When we got home, our dad (a Yorkshireman) would thrash us to sleep with his pipe, and we were grateful for it!
Then I discovered online forums, and suddenly life was worth living. I'll never be sad or lonely ever again.

Are you having a laugh? I've seen the Monty Python sketch too, you know.
Presumably, you are taking a leaf out of Brass's book.
I do hope it isn't going to be a trend here.

 

[Manorgasmian]

My first memories of 'life' were in the womb, I remember it well, little did I know they were going to be the best days of my life.
I am born
No private bupa hospital for my birth, our mam gave birth to me holding on to two branches. Yes, we were living in a tree at the time. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea. A cup of cold tea, without milk or sugar, OR tea! In a filthy, cracked cup if we were lucky. Most times we never had a cup, we used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper. Sometimes the best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth. But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor. At one time we were living in one room, sixteen of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing. We were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling!
Then we lived for two years in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of mouldy bread, go to work down coal mine for eighteen hours a day. When we got home, our dad (a Yorkshireman) would thrash us to sleep with his pipe, and we were grateful for it!
Then I discovered online forums, and suddenly life was worth living. I'll never be sad or lonely ever again.

I used to dream of sucking on a cold damp cloth! When I was young my da would make us whittle cocktail sticks out of twigs so he could hammer them under our finger nails! If we was lucky!

 

[Brass]

When I was a kid, my brothers and sisters and I had to walk five miles through two feet of snow every morning just to get to school. And we had to do it walking backwards uphill against the wind with nothing on our feet but old worn out socks, and even more worn out socks for gloves. And we had to do it all over again when school let out for the day. In retrospect, I can understand how the wind might have changed direction sometime between morning and afternoon, but how it happened that we had to walk uphill on the way home, too, is something I still scratch my head over to this day.

 

[Shak]

My first memories of 'life' were in the womb, I remember it well, little did I know they were going to be the best days of my life.
I am born
No private bupa hospital for my birth, our mam gave birth to me holding on to two branches. Yes, we were living in a tree at the time. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea. A cup of cold tea, without milk or sugar, OR tea! In a filthy, cracked cup if we were lucky. Most times we never had a cup, we used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper. Sometimes the best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth. But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor. At one time we were living in one room, sixteen of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing. We were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling!
Then we lived for two years in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of mouldy bread, go to work down coal mine for eighteen hours a day. When we got home, our dad (a Yorkshireman) would thrash us to sleep with his pipe, and we were grateful for it!
Then I discovered online forums, and suddenly life was worth living. I'll never be sad or lonely ever again.

Bloody spoiled brat!

Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.

 

[Wojcik]

Bloody spoiled brat!

Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.

The dreaded wail in the morning of "It's time to get up for school!" as you scream back, "Five more minutes!"

 

[Brass]

I do hope it isn't going to be a trend here.

Nothing is a trend here. Well, that's not altogether true. There's always the ones who criticize others; you know the type.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that this site has something for every level of intellect. It's just too bad the two have to mix.

But just for the record, would you care to explain why it bugs you when people start a thread to have fun.

 

[Brass]

I don't like my siblings all that much. First of all, when we were kids, they were always telling me that they were better than me. That's because that's what my mother told them. I don't blame them for hearing it, but I do blame them for believing it. My oldest sister, Carol, was the worst. She did awful things to me. When I was four years old she called me over to the swing and said there was something stuck in the barrel of my cork gun and that her finger was too big to get it out. She got me to stick my little finger in the barrel. Little did I know that she had already cocked it. Then she pulled the trigger. The bolt that slams forward to pop the cork out slammed into the end of my little finger. That witch. That really hurt. Then there was the time she told me to blow out an alleged hot ash that was in my mother's full ashtray. Ever try to get cigarette ashes out of your eyes? That witch. She also taught me why you should never stick your finger in a lightbulb socket. That witch!

She once made me eat a salt sandwich--heavy on the salt, hold the bread! After half a teaspoonful, I didn't want any more, but she threatened to tell mom that I swore at her if I didn't eat the salt. I never swore at her, but we both knew that mom would believe her over me and then slap me silly for it. Plus my other shitty sisters chimed in from the sidelines saying that they also heard me swearing loud and clear. Then she wouldn't let me have any water. And on the advice of my other sisters, she put my winter coat on me, tied my hands behind my back, and then staked me out to a small dead tree in the open field beside our property under the hot sun (it was mid-July). Then she and the rest of my siblings sat under the big shade tree at the edge of our yard and drank Kool-Aid in front of me for about a half hour.

 

[Brass]

And then:

Carol asked me if I wanted some, too. I nodded. So she poured a glass and brought it over to where I was staked out. "Oh, that's right," she said with a grin on her face, "I forgot your hands are tied behind your back. You want me to help you?" I knew she probably wasn't really going to help me, but I was desperate and had nothing to lose. As I was nodding yes, she threw the Kool-Aid in my face. I didn't even have time to close my eyes. The Kool-Aid mixed with the sweat in my eyes and stung pretty bad. I closed my eyes, hoping that would help. It didn't. And after a few minutes, it was hard to open my eyes because the sugar in the Kool-Aid made everything pretty sticky. They all got up and ran to the house when they saw my mother's car coming down the road. She was coming home from work.