SamBally
Dance with me until the sun rises!
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2021
- Messages
- 2,021
- Reaction score
- 1,930
YOU don’t end up with as much money as me – around £440 million, minimum – without knowing how to save it! Follow these tips to save hundreds of thousands a year:
Turn off homes.
I know it’s tempting to leave heating and lights on in your third, fourth, and fifth homes so you feel wonderfully welcome when you step inside, but it’s wasteful. Just send staff ahead to take the chill away. Obviously, this doesn’t apply to your second home. I mean, it’s your second home.
Be smarter about water.
Be honest with yourself: do you really need that rooftop infinity pool? Yes, it was envy-inducing in 2006, but now every sad little dreamer on poverty-porn shows like Grand Designs has one. An elevated glass-bottomed pool over a courtyard or atrium is more efficient and far more ‘now’.
Wear a hoodie over your £2,500 shirt and tie.
Working late and feeling cold? Don’t touch that thermostat. Instead pull on a hoodie over your shirt and tie to look stylish and feel toasty. And remember, don’t go barefoot indoors. You’ll keep far warmer wearing grey socks and Ferragamo sliders.
Turn off ‘vampire’ outbuildings.
Walk around one of your estates and you’ll be surprised how many vampire outbuildings housing staff or guests have a little light on showing they’re consuming electricity. It all adds up. Turn them all off and you’ll save pennies a year – a lot of money to you.
Be bathed.
Baths waste water, as do showers. It’s best to stand naked in a large marble-and-gold-leaf tub while a member of household staff carefully washes you with a bowl of perfumed water and a Mediterranean silk natural sea sponge. Streets ahead in terms of both comfort and wastage.
Glow with the inner radiance of extreme wealth.
It’s surprising the physiological effects being wealthier than the Queen can have. I find that even in a room of millionaires I have an inner radiance that leaves me warm and comfortable even when they’re grubbing around hiring helicopters. Just become extremely rich and you’ll never worry about bills again.
Turn off homes.
I know it’s tempting to leave heating and lights on in your third, fourth, and fifth homes so you feel wonderfully welcome when you step inside, but it’s wasteful. Just send staff ahead to take the chill away. Obviously, this doesn’t apply to your second home. I mean, it’s your second home.
Be smarter about water.
Be honest with yourself: do you really need that rooftop infinity pool? Yes, it was envy-inducing in 2006, but now every sad little dreamer on poverty-porn shows like Grand Designs has one. An elevated glass-bottomed pool over a courtyard or atrium is more efficient and far more ‘now’.
Wear a hoodie over your £2,500 shirt and tie.
Working late and feeling cold? Don’t touch that thermostat. Instead pull on a hoodie over your shirt and tie to look stylish and feel toasty. And remember, don’t go barefoot indoors. You’ll keep far warmer wearing grey socks and Ferragamo sliders.
Turn off ‘vampire’ outbuildings.
Walk around one of your estates and you’ll be surprised how many vampire outbuildings housing staff or guests have a little light on showing they’re consuming electricity. It all adds up. Turn them all off and you’ll save pennies a year – a lot of money to you.
Be bathed.
Baths waste water, as do showers. It’s best to stand naked in a large marble-and-gold-leaf tub while a member of household staff carefully washes you with a bowl of perfumed water and a Mediterranean silk natural sea sponge. Streets ahead in terms of both comfort and wastage.
Glow with the inner radiance of extreme wealth.
It’s surprising the physiological effects being wealthier than the Queen can have. I find that even in a room of millionaires I have an inner radiance that leaves me warm and comfortable even when they’re grubbing around hiring helicopters. Just become extremely rich and you’ll never worry about bills again.