Report? What report? La la la, la la la, la, la, la.

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

We must wait for the novelisation of the screenplay of the adaptation of the West End musical of the Sue Gray report, explains government.​

The government has confirmed that the Sue Gray report cannot be released until the novelisation of the movie of the adaptation of the stage musical is complete.

The heavily-redacted report is expected to reach Downing Street shortly, but insiders claim that for the public’s own good it must remain under wraps until production begins on the movie version.

Nadine Dorries, the Salacious Crumb of the cabinet, said: “I’ve seen the original material. It’s dry. With the anticipation that’s out there if we release this it’ll be a total flop.

“So we’ve called in screenwriters to punch it up, really create a through line and fix the third act, and then we’ll go to Hollywood and make deals. I’m thinking Owen Wilson as Boris, Jamie Lee Curtis as me?

“While principal photography’s going on we’ll cast and rehearse the musical, then I’ll write the novelisation with material not in the movie or the show, and then we’ll release them all simultaneously and the public will realise the parties were no big deal.

“When will they come out? Well, movies take time. Look how long it’s been between Avatar and the sequels. But definitely before 2030.”

Former Tory voter Tom Logan said: “You go ahead. Take as long as you like. Much as you might want it to, my fury at your selfish twat behaviour isn’t going anywhere.”

via ~ DailySingSong

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Fight for your right to parrrrrtee​

 

[SamBally]

When Sir Keir and his cronies try and bait Boris over this issue I just want to throw a brick at the TV, albeit rubber or course, it's a very expensive TV.

New New Labour has sat on the Forde report into corruption within the Labour Party, watered down the investigation, and also indicated the final draft will also be heavily redacted.

As to this so-called inquiry... Errr yes right. 6 pages of what...


I mean it's not like they have already done a backroom deal with the MET who have enough of their own political issues to contend with.

 

[Saphire]

We must wait for the novelisation of the screenplay of the adaptation of the West End musical of the Sue Gray report, explains government.​

View attachment 7849

The government has confirmed that the Sue Gray report cannot be released until the novelisation of the movie of the adaptation of the stage musical is complete.

The heavily-redacted report is expected to reach Downing Street shortly, but insiders claim that for the public’s own good it must remain under wraps until production begins on the movie version.

Nadine Dorries, the Salacious Crumb of the cabinet, said: “I’ve seen the original material. It’s dry. With the anticipation that’s out there if we release this it’ll be a total flop.

“So we’ve called in screenwriters to punch it up, really create a through line and fix the third act, and then we’ll go to Hollywood and make deals. I’m thinking Owen Wilson as Boris, Jamie Lee Curtis as me?

“While principal photography’s going on we’ll cast and rehearse the musical, then I’ll write the novelisation with material not in the movie or the show, and then we’ll release them all simultaneously and the public will realise the parties were no big deal.

“When will they come out? Well, movies take time. Look how long it’s been between Avatar and the sequels. But definitely before 2030.”

Former Tory voter Tom Logan said: “You go ahead. Take as long as you like. Much as you might want it to, my fury at your selfish twat behaviour isn’t going anywhere.”

via ~ DailySingSong

I saw that exchange as it happened.
It was the best bit of TV comedy I have seen for ages.

 

[SamBally]

Detectives are poring over a dossier of 300 Partygate photos with Carrie Johnson's alleged Abba bash now one of 12 under investigation.

Scotland Yard is examining eight dates on which events are said to have taken place and a spokesman said last night that it had gathered 500 pages of information.

Abba lol.


The prosecution case is looking a bit flimsy...

 

[SamBally]

Cover-up complete: civil servant Sue Gray told to leave details of the vast majority of Downing Street parties out of her report – then after it was delivered yesterday, police announce no one will be named from their investigation!​

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Boris asks nation to focus on the four Downing Street parties that aren’t facing criminal investigation, rather than the twelve that are​

Boris Johnson has this afternoon asked voters to focus on the four Downing Street parties that the Met Police have decided do not meet the threshold for a criminal investigation, rather than the twelve that did.

Just hours after Sue Gray’s preliminary findings confirmed that twelve Downing Street parties are currently being investigated by the Met Police, Johnson told the House of Commons that people should remember that there were four parties not worthy of a criminal investigation.

He went on, “The opposition will no doubt focus on the parties that are being investigated by the police, and the fact that Sue Gray has already said we should have known better, but I prefer to look on the bright side and encourage all voters to consider those parties we enjoyed that were definitely not criminal.”

Simon Williams, a voter who would be lucky to attend twelve parties in any given year without any lockdown restrictions whatsoever, told us, “I’m not sure that 25% of our parties require no police investigation whatsoever is quite the flex he thinks it is.

“Still, they are the self-proclaimed party of law and order, so those politicians found to have broken the rules will definitely fall on their swords, right?

“Right?”

“Oh.”

via ~ Daily Pass The Buck

 

[hell2bwith76]

Detectives are poring over a dossier of 300 Partygate photos with Carrie Johnson's alleged Abba bash now one of 12 under investigation.

Scotland Yard is examining eight dates on which events are said to have taken place and a spokesman said last night that it had gathered 500 pages of information.

Abba lol.


The prosecution case is looking a bit flimsy...

That`s funny ,i only read last night that one of the Queen`s favourite groups is Abba .