Puppies discover limitless cold fusion energy source!

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''Lets talk about puppies'' says UKChat cut and paste expert

Fake news’ to be delightful and fun!!​

Scientist Puppy getting ready to cold fuse


If fake news is going to be spread anyway it should be about lovely, happy, fluffy things, researchers have proved.

The Institute for Studies has shown that real news is bad enough already, and therefore all fake news from now on must be unbelievably delightful.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “If the ‘news’ on social media is just whatever bullshit anyone shares, then instead of ‘Muslims in council-backed halal Easter outrage’ why not ‘Puppies discover limitless cold fusion energy source’?

“A story we wrote about David Bowie jumping out of a cake at a butterfly farm wearing a lovely woolly jumper with ‘Tricked you!’ on it has been shared five million times already.

“It’s not true, but neither is ‘Benefits family in 12-bedroom house on £6m a year’ and ours makes you feel all gooey and warm inside.”

He added: “We’ve got ‘Trident replaced by cute ducklings’, ‘New wonder drug cures everything’ which is in the Express tomorrow, and ‘Take anything you fancy from my palaces, Queen tells Britons’.

“Oh, and Brexit. Surprisingly, there’s a real audience for fake news that’s just outrageously positive about Brexit.”

via - Daily Mashed Potato

 

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Einstein Dog getting ready for E=Mc Walkies.

 

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This puppy is studying to be a rocket surgeon. The high forehead is an intelligence tell.

 

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Readying for an arabesque. Ballet pupster!

 

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The look that says, 'what the fvck is wrong with you people?'

 

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Andrex signs exclusive deal to publish absorbent version of David Cameron’s memoirs​

Puppy snorting cocaine disguised as toilet paper


Well-known toilet paper manufacturer and Labrador puppy model agency, Andrex, is to publish a unique serialisation of David Cameron’s memoirs, it has emerged.

Cameron’s agent, Simon Williams said, “Like most important political memoirs of our time, David’s guide to bare-faced narcissism peppered with various hilarious-slash-terrifying anecdotes of large-scale government ineptitude, deserves to reach as large an audience as possible.

“Although neither David nor I had previously heard of the publisher ‘Andrex’ we understand they’re a ‘household name’ across the nation.

“The clincher for David is when they described his memoirs as having the ‘soft, strong and very absorbent’ properties they were looking for. He felt they’d hit the nail on the head with that one.

“David really hopes that his deeply personal thoughts and reflections – particularly about holding a referendum, which he still thinks was a super idea – connect with people in a deep and meaningful way.

Andrex spokesperson said, “If there’s one thing we know, it’s what paper the good people of this country feel should be covered in sh**.

“Wait, he still thinks we’re publishing it as a book? Idiot. Not, it’s going to bog roll, pure and simple. Is it the perfect material to get covered in piss and stuck to an unsuspecting shoe? Yes. Should it be written down on paper for eyes to read? Nope.

“There was the odd amusing story about the current melted candle in Number 10, but we can just reduce those down to handy little readable quotes for customers when they’re going about their business.

“Yes, we’re expecting it to sell by the million.”

However, when told of the Andrex deal, one member of the public said, “Cameron’s memoirs? No, sorry, I wouldn’t even wipe my arse with it.”

via Daily Dump

 

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These three have been jailed for stealing £8 million worth of Dentastix.

Trying to look innocent over the jail wall isn't going to help them. The middle one is the mastermind.

 

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Merlin is a great cook, studying to be a maths teacher and wants to bring peace to the world.

 

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Did you know that dogs have the ability so spontaneously explode in slow motion?

 

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Photos of the rare and nearly extinct 'upside down puppy'

 

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Lady Isabella Newton studying a tome of her pawcestor's 'Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica', (Principia). Off camera Lady Isabella works tirelessly for a charity that distributes dog food to those in need.